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so, there's been a lot of discourse on twitter around people identifying as a "bi lesbian" or a "pan lesbian" and on one side people are saying bi/pan lesbians are harmful to bis, pans, and lesbians, and on the other side people are saying bi/pan lesbians aren't harmful. and the problem is, i'm close to people on both sides, so if i take one side, i lose people on the other side, and i don't want to get dragged into this discourse, and i don't want to have to lose people over this discourse, but i have people on one side, dming me about following someone, who is on the other side, and vise versa, and i'm not a lesbian, so i can't say anything, and idk what to do.

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I think it would depend on what they MEAN by the term... since it seems kind of contradictory to my understanding of the usage of those words, I'm not sure what information they're trying to impart... 

Is it: bi/pan, but strongly tending towards lesbian? 
or: Bi/pan romantic, lesbian sexual (or vice versa)?
or: Bi/pan, but lesbian sounds cooler? 

If it's the last one, then, yeah, I'd say it's maybe harmful. The middle one, is/are not harmful. The 1st one... maybe? 

(Note: I don't think it's the 3rd one, I just put that in there for completeness)

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Here's an essay I know of about gay bisexuality, for reference.

 

I don't have a dog in this particular hunt, besides a general opposition to too much essentialism, but from what you described, @Alexisaromantic, it sounds like you're mired in a case of people trying to sort other people into Ally or Enemy factions, rather than working together to solve a problem, and that's never a good situation. You might end up burning some bridges no matter what you do. Faced with conflicting demands like that, I think the only thing really left to do is figure out how to maintain your own sense of integrity.

 

Are you looking for input about the particular issue itself, or more on how to handle the DMs?

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