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Fynnlee

How the crap do I do this? Should I even be doing this?

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So one of my alloro friends has recently had their heart broken, and they've decided to give up on romance as a result. Seems like a bit of an extreme reaction to me, but I'm just the aro, right?

 

Well, I'm sitting here, trying to make them feel better and convince them to not give up on something that makes them happy, but I have no idea how to do it. Or even if I should be doing it.

 

Help?

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I think the best thing for now is just to let them give up, because a break would probably help them. Then, if it really does make them happier than being single, I'm sure they will eventually realize that on their own.

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12 hours ago, Fynnlee said:

So one of my alloro friends has recently had their heart broken, and they've decided to give up on romance as a result. Seems like a bit of an extreme reaction to me, but I'm just the aro, right?

What do they mean by "give up on romance"?
What would this look like to them?

 

13 hours ago, Fynnlee said:

Seems like a bit of an extreme reaction to me, but I'm just the aro, right?

Worth reminding them that abstaining from romance isn't the same as being aro.

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10 hours ago, Mark said:

What do they mean by "give up on romance"?
What would this look like to them?

They mean they're going to give up on having crushes, which from my knowledge is pretty impossible for alloro people? Idk honestly, they were pretty emotional at the time and not being very clear.

10 hours ago, Mark said:

Worth reminding them that abstaining from romance isn't the same as being aro.

I did, to which they just responded that they were a bit jealous of me never having to go through what they are.

Idk man. 

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Honestly, if they “give up” on romance and are alloro, they’ll find it again when they’re ready. If they’re like me (who just decided in middle school to not have crushes anymore), they’re  provably not alloro and this will hopefully help them. I would say just try to be the best friend you can be and express your platonic love/affection for them so they know you care for them even if it’s not in the way they wish you did.

 

just a reminder, it’s not your fault that you can’t reciprocate the feelings. You don’t have to apologize for that and they shouldn’t expect an apology (idk if that’s relevant to your situation, but it’s a good reminder regardless) 

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