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Hi everyone!

 

I’ve mostly been in denial and avoidant about this part of my identity since high school when I first found out about aromanticism and asexuality. Back then, AVEN and tumblr were the only sites I knew where it was being discussed. Then Aroplane was created and I was a long-time on/off lurker on that (don’t know when it went down though).

 

I stopped exploring/questioning romance/sexuality after getting into my first relationship because I was hoping the aro/ace thing would be a phase and I’d be allo (ha!). 

 

I’m 23 now and had 3 relationships with amazing people that ended horribly because I could never reciprocate feelings back. I’ve always felt this guilt that their feelings for me were at a higher level than mine for them. And I always end up regretting starting the relationship in the first place — but I would’ve never been where I am now. Trying to force romantic feelings and sexual desire took a lot out of me and I’ve always had to ask for personal space and time (a LOT of time). Like, a day of making out would equal to about 2-3 weeks of needing some personal space. (I think I’ve dated some angels with incredible patience).

 

I’m at the weird point in time where half of my friends are in solid relationships or married, and the other half are single and constantly looking to mingle. In the future, I think I’d be content alone with a couple of pets and plants. The people who know me well would be shocked if I ever actually fell in love or stayed in a relationship for more than a year. 

 

I’ve been a lurker on many forums, but the new decade is giving me a little push to contribute. I’m not much of a talker or a writer, so I’m hoping this wall of text isn’t too much of a mess! 

 

...And a little bit about myself — I’m a librarian who’s trying to get back into reading books and her drawing hobby, and I am a huge HUGE fan of dogs. 

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6 hours ago, honeypandan said:

Like, a day of making out would equal to about 2-3 weeks of needing some personal space. (I think I’ve dated some angels with incredible patience).

i just said "omg" out loud to this. i relate /so/ much.

 

welcome to arocalypse!! 

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Welcome! Do you enjoy being a librarian? It's always seemed like a nice job to me, but I don't know the ins-and-outs lol

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Thanks! Hoping to engage with the community more! 

 

3 hours ago, aepaex said:

Welcome! Do you enjoy being a librarian? It's always seemed like a nice job to me, but I don't know the ins-and-outs lol

 

Actually I work at a university library, so it’s not at the usual public library with a lot of books and fun public events. I mostly help students and our academics with assignments and research. I love it so much and I never feel like I’m working since it’s so easy and enjoyable 😄

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