Jump to content
nonmerci

Aro representation in LGBT places

Recommended Posts

Hi and happy new year everybody!

So, I got the feeling that we focus too much on aro inclusion in ace places. Which have sense considering that aro and ace has been tied together since the creation of ace community... but seems damaging too. For instance, people here saying they didn't realize they are aro because they thought you have to be ace : except for heterosexual aro (I don't think there exist hetero places like LGBT places?), learning about aromanticism on gay, bi, pan, transgenres,  etc places would have help them a lot. Also, aro would feel more safe in LGBT communities, and it would help aro awareness more.

But I don't know how to do that. I am not personnaly involved in queer places except arocalypse.  I can't picture myself go on a LGBT community and say "hi! We exist!". I don't feel legitimate. I think AUREA must have a role here.

 

So, what I'm trying to say is : we should stop to focus so much on the ace communities and look for other places too.

 

2020 will be the aro year!

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly what you can do is check out your local queer orgs and see if they're trying to say something about identities beyond the LGBT, like even intersex people, nonbinary identities, aces. If they're in touch with what's happening in the wider world (and they should be), they could be including identities like those. And then it's my expectation that they'll also accept aros :) As far as AUREA can provide some legitimacy and official contact, regular aros getting involved is invaluable too!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is mostly difficult to find aro stuff in LGBTQ+ places because many don't think aromantism exists/it's a weird kind of straight/etc.

 

Personally I'm on a few LGBTQ+ sites and always try to include aromantism, but that's often difficult to make visible because of arophobia.

 

Therefore it's easier to find aromantic stuff on Ace sites, since aces face similar problems and because of aros and aces often getting tied together. I do plan to do some more aro information stuff on LGBTQ+ sites, but I don't expect anything to come from it.

 

If there were more aros on such sites, we would be getting more visibility and acceptance, I guess, but since there aren't many aros on such sites, many aros don't want to join, unless it ties in with another part of their identity.

 

But it has been getting better on some sites, with aros being mentioned and once or twice even ASAW.

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/13/2020 at 4:53 PM, Morgenfluss said:

Therefore it's easier to find aromantic stuff on Ace sites, since aces face similar problems and because of aros and aces often getting tied together. I do plan to do some more aro information stuff on LGBTQ+ sites, but I don't expect anything to come from it.

I can't see how putting aroace information (which is what you typically find on ace sites) onto LGBTQ+ sites will help at all.
At best it won't become any more relevant to LGBTQ+ aros.

At worst it will encourage LGBTQ+ allos to conflate aro with ace and thus erase LGBTQ+ aros.

  • Thanks 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/14/2020 at 9:17 PM, Mark said:

I can't see how putting aroace information (which is what you typically find on ace sites) onto LGBTQ+ sites will help at all.
At best it won't become any more relevant to LGBTQ+ aros.

At worst it will encourage LGBTQ+ allos to conflate aro with ace and thus erase LGBTQ+ aros.

 

You must have misunderstood what I was saying. I was talking about putting more aro info stuff up on LGBTQ+ sites, not aroace information. By doing so it may help them start to distinguish Aros and Aces, since I would be talking solely about aromantism.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Morgenfluss said:

You must have misunderstood what I was saying. I was talking about putting more aro info stuff up on LGBTQ+ sites, not aroace information. 

What is this "aro stuff" you thinking of?
Some links would help.
If it's from an ace site then it's most likely to aroace in nature. Since the target audience of such sites are asexual people.

 

4 hours ago, Morgenfluss said:

 By doing so it may help them start to distinguish Aros and Aces, since I would be talking solely about aromantism.

How would you distinguish between information which is aro ace and that which is aro?


Going back to @nonmerci's post 

Quote
On 1/1/2020 at 9:58 AM, nonmerci said:

people here saying they didn't realize they are aro because they thought you have to be ace

 

The reason for this is that most "aro stuff", including that on a-spec and aro sites, is from an aro ace POV.
Which, due to intersectionality, isn't likely to be something which non-asexual aros find relatable.
It's also possible that these may be poor at explaining aromantism to non-asexual allos.

What I think is needed here are resources which LGBTQ+ aros find relatable and which LGBTQ+ allos understand.

An example of this would be an articles about "non romantic relationships" which mentions "purely sexual", "sexual attraction" and "lust" rather than one about "squishs", "platonic relationships" and "QPRs". The latter is likely to have the typical LGBTQ+ person, at best, confused and, at worst, complaining about "queer" being misappropriated.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
23 hours ago, Mark said:

What is this "aro stuff" you thinking of?
Some links would help.
If it's from an ace site then it's most likely to aroace in nature. Since the target audience of such sites are asexual people.

 

"aro stuff" would be like what is aromantism and what isn't aromantism. You don't need links for that. Again: It won't have anything to do with asexuality. Also, I like using memes to explain stuff, but I would most likely make most of them myself -- as I already do. And I distinguish that by saying stuff like you don't need to be asexual in order to be aromantic and many aros can still have relationships without romantic intimacy.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
23 hours ago, Morgenfluss said:

"aro stuff" would be like what is aromantism and what isn't aromantism. You don't need links for that. Again: It won't have anything to do with asexuality. 

If it originates from an asexual site it will have everything to do with asexuality. Due to having been written by asexual people for asexual people.
Please read up on intersectionality. Because it's essential for understanding here.

 

23 hours ago, Morgenfluss said:

Also, I like using memes to explain stuff, but I would most likely make most of them myself -- as I already do. And I distinguish that by saying stuff like you don't need to be asexual in order to be aromantic and many aros can still have relationships without romantic intimacy.

Existing aro ace material already has these kind of #notallaros disclaimers.
Which doesn't help because these memes, articles, etc mean little to other aros.

The experiences of cis aro lesbians, trans aro lesbians, cis aro gays, trans aro gays, cis aro bis & trans aro bis differ even from each other. As well as differing markedly from those of aro aces.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, Mark said:

If it originates from an asexual site it will have everything to do with asexuality. Due to having been written by asexual people for asexual people.
Please read up on intersectionality. Because it's essential for understanding here.

im not sure what would originate from an asexual site, what are you imagining?

 

On 2/17/2020 at 7:27 PM, Morgenfluss said:

you don't need to be asexual in order to be aromantic and many aros can still have relationships without romantic intimacy.

i appreciate that you're doing it so much! it's great that people can see that aromanticism exists in the first place. i think a better way of wording it would be "aromantic people can have any sexual orientation, i.e. bi-, a-, heterosexual, or may not have sexual orientation" bc then it doesn't bring the reader's attention to asexuality and doesn't suggest that the reader should be especially connecting the two; and "many aros can have relationships of various nature (with emotional and/or sexual components) without romantic intimacy" bc it explicitly spells out the connection to sexuality too

 

I agree that sometimes debunking myths on a platform where it's possible that people come without having heard of those myths, can make them appear in their heads in the first place

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 hours ago, Mark said:

If it originates from an asexual site it will have everything to do with asexuality. Due to having been written by asexual people for asexual people.
Please read up on intersectionality. Because it's essential for understanding here.

Im am confused. If there is no link and doesn't come from any website as @Morgenfluss said, how can it come from an asexual website? 😕

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, nonmerci said:

Im am confused. If there is no link and doesn't come from any website as @Morgenfluss said, how can it come from an asexual website? 😕

I think that the idea is that if it originates from an asexual website, then it was written from an asexual viewpoint, and will have asexual biases and assumptions... 

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/19/2020 at 11:56 AM, bydontost said:

im not sure what would originate from an asexual site, what are you imagining?

It is stated here.

On 2/13/2020 at 4:53 PM, Morgenfluss said:

it's easier to find aromantic stuff on Ace sites,

However they seem unable/unwilling to provide links to the "stuff" in question.

 

On 2/19/2020 at 11:56 AM, bydontost said:

i appreciate that you're doing it so much! it's great that people can see that aromanticism exists in the first place. i think a better way of wording it would be "aromantic people can have any sexual orientation, i.e. bi-, a-, heterosexual, or may not have sexual orientation"

This kind kind of thing is more likely to work as a prefix, rather than a suffix.

 

On 2/19/2020 at 11:56 AM, bydontost said:

bc then it doesn't bring the reader's attention to asexuality and doesn't suggest that the reader should be especially connecting the two;

How that work when the rest of the resource mentions asexuality? e.g. identifying the author as "ace" or being on/from an ace website.
(This can also happen implicitly through describing things which are common amongst aces than non-aces or omitting things which are more common amongst non-aces than aces.)

 

On 2/19/2020 at 11:56 AM, bydontost said:

I agree that sometimes debunking myths on a platform where it's possible that people come without having heard of those myths, can make them appear in their heads in the first place

I think a big part of the aro and ace conflation myth is the idea that aro ace experiences of aromanticism are somehow typical or baseline.
This is also something I'd expect perioriented people to recognise and understand as being a problem.

 

On 2/19/2020 at 4:13 PM, nonmerci said:

Im am confused. If there is no link and doesn't come from any website as @Morgenfluss said, how can it come from an asexual website? 😕

They have claimed both

On 2/13/2020 at 4:53 PM, Morgenfluss said:

aromantic stuff on Ace sites

and

On 2/17/2020 at 6:27 PM, Morgenfluss said:

You don't need links for that.

 

On 2/19/2020 at 5:43 PM, LBMango said:

I think that the idea is that if it originates from an asexual website, then it was written from an asexual viewpoint, and will have asexual biases and assumptions... 

This is exactly the issue.
With those kind of biases and assumptions (which may be implicit) continuing to be part of the resource even if it is copied elsewhere.
This is also likely to happen with resources authored by aro aces, regardless of where they were first published.
 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...