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Idk I'm Confused

QPR and gender

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I've always wanted a QPR, just someone to live my life, share secrets, making jokes noone can understand. You know, a QPR. I don't know why but I can only imagine this relationship with a guy. I go along with girls better, because I'm not that shy around them, but even having a guy friends sounds great. Boys just seem way more fun. I don't like girls in class, school, anywhere.  Especially with makeup, fake nails, pop music, instagram stories looking so alike, they're all the same and I just don't understand. Now, I know this is just overgeneralizing, but tell me you don't know any girls like that. Guys are just vibin'. I don't even find girls aesthetically attractive. Only lesbians and tomboys, and I could imagine a QPR with them too now that I think about it.

 

So if anyone knows tf is going on, please let me know or just share your experience/opinion.

 

Also please don't imagine me just walking down the hall and just look at every girl with hatred in my eyes. Some girls are great, K? I have girl friends. Some girls are worth worshiping.

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There's nothing wrong with feeling that way, and your identity is still valid. I'm only drawn to the idea of a QPR with a girl or maybe a non-binary person. I'm more inclined to make friends with girls too, and people have tried to invalidate my identity as aromantic based on the invalid heteronormative belief that any preference for the opposite gender is romantic. I think my preference is based partly on the fact that male and female same-sex friendships tend to be different in pretty significant ways and the female type is more like what I want out of a friendship or something closer. Also I'm much more comfortable with physical contact with women and am to some degree heterosexual though ace-spec as well.

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I'm drawn to a QPR with a guy for the wrong reasons. At this point in time, it would be ideal for me to fake a happy straight relationship with someone who is also happy to fake it and have the same aro/ace thing. It would really make my family (and some friends) back off about me finding the right man and staying "normal". I do predict this mindset will change in the future though, but that's what I'm feeling now.

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