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Coyote

QPR Misinformation Is Not an Appropriate Vehicle for Aro Community Building

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23 hours ago, bydontost said:

anyway if someone wants to make a post to tumblr, here's a draft graphic that could be used https://drive.google.com/open?id=18wNTeK4GF1szk0lVKDTTjttvGr0ht09q

suggestions for some tweaks are okay

 

Interesting. I see the structure here is patterned after the bad one.

 

Frankly, I don't think mentioning the origins is necessary, if the goal is just to put out a better infographic that doesn't reflect the same problems as Twenty's.

 

More importantly... I don't actually think the original structure (with its blocks on Love, Commitment, etc.) was the best choice on her part to begin with. This could just be me swinging too far in the other direction, but I associate this kind of breakdown of features with the attempts to define queerplatonic too narrowly as a particular kind of relationship style, rather than an umbrella term.

 

I see your approach was to take some similar blocks and mostly talk through how variable they each are, which is good. I also have to assume, though, that some people will just glance over the headers w/o reading the smaller text and possibly get the impression that it's intended as a trait list. Do you see what I mean?

 

@LauraG -- you mentioned an infographic project too, right?

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1 hour ago, Coyote said:

Interesting. I see the structure here is patterned after the bad one.

yes, as i said before, i'm kinda tired of this qpr talk and so didn't want to put too much effort into it and it seemed this format was attractive

 

1 hour ago, Coyote said:

Frankly, I don't think mentioning the origins is necessary, if the goal is just to put out a better infographic that doesn't reflect the same problems as Twenty's.

i decided to put it there, bc it's sth that aros don't know about and often think aros coined it, this is the reason for this whole thread. the goal is to put accurate info out there in a form that people like, read and reblog (if we're talking about tumblr)

 

Quote

Coyote said: This could just be me swinging too far in the other direction, but I associate this kind of breakdown of features with the attempts to define queerplatonic too narrowly as a particular kind of relationship style, rather than an umbrella term.

 

I guess this is why i tried to go with some broad categories, and then show the possible variance, but i get what you mean

 

1 hour ago, Coyote said:

I see your approach was to take some similar blocks and mostly talk through how variable they each are, which is good. I also have to assume, though, that some people will just glance over the headers w/o reading the smaller text and possibly get the impression that it's intended as a trait list. Do you see what I mean?

yes, thank you. i mean... i guess we can assume some people won't read it, that's fair, a lot won't be interested and just scroll past, but i can't do anything about that. at least the first block is personalization, so maybe the more curious ones will see that " Every relationship looks different because of the different people in it, though most relationships have certain expectations of activities that happen within them. QPRs are meant to be free of those expectations and are very customizable relationships by design. You can settle on what you and your partner(s) want, because it's your take on a partnership. The personalization is also why a lot of definitions of QPRs exist - the relationship may be different for many people."

 

edit: this on the other hand is minimal information, but very aestheticc and contains a disclaimer about consent: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XaHpZ9qvTRmQaz1Asn4zYQlyf9y41v8v/view?usp=sharing

edit 2: idk if it shouldn't say "a qpr" instead of "qpr", who knows english, not this guy

 

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15 hours ago, Coyote said:

Frankly, I don't think mentioning the origins is necessary, if the goal is just to put out a better infographic that doesn't reflect the same problems as Twenty's.

I think it's important that people know the origins so as to avoid the misinformation, misassumptions and misunderstandings surrounding the word.
This is likely the case with other "aro terms" which have similar origins.

 

15 hours ago, Coyote said:

This could just be me swinging too far in the other direction, but I associate this kind of breakdown of features with the attempts to define queerplatonic too narrowly as a particular kind of relationship style, rather than an umbrella term.

It's important that "umbrella terms" not be too wide. Otherwise they can become uselessly ambiguous.

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On 1/6/2020 at 3:49 PM, bydontost said:

i decided to put it there, bc it's sth that aros don't know about and often think aros coined it, this is the reason for this whole thread. the goal is to put accurate info out there in a form that people like, read and reblog (if we're talking about tumblr)

 

On 1/7/2020 at 6:49 AM, Mark said:

I think it's important that people know the origins so as to avoid the misinformation, misassumptions and misunderstandings surrounding the word.

 

I appreciate the shared priorities.

 

Currently, (in relation to this thread) I'm thinking of the goal of QPR infographics in terms of this:

 

On 12/19/2019 at 11:12 PM, LauraG said:

To move a bit away from the context of coinage and towards another common greivances relating to qprs - that alloromantic aces use the word to mean non-sexual romantic relationships. Personally, I haven't seen evidence to suggest that this is as pervasive a problem as it is sometimes framed as, but what I have noticed is that the one post I've seen that does this is one of the first results when you search queerplatonic on Tumblr. Which is a problem.

 

Seeing as the op has not responded to any of the corrections, I was thinking of ways of trying to combat that, and I think the best course of action there is to create a competing post (that's equally pretty, since I think that's a factor in why it spread). It wouldn't take down the other post, but it would hopefully provide enough conflicting information that people stop to think about which is correct.

 

So I'm thinking of a second infographic's goal as mainly just "knock the bad one off its throne of notes." 

 

The problem with the bad one, besides being bad, is that it also happened to combine the ace-origin narrative with a very skewed understanding of what queerplatonic can mean. This makes bad QPR definitions & the ace-origin narrative seem like they're intertwined, which then makes people feel extra suspicious of the ace-origin narrative when they see it again in the future. A couple of different posts I've linked here have shown some of the reactions that result re: presenting the ace-origin narrative without getting into detailed proof, and if it were me, I'd want to try and anticipate how to respond to those reactions, should they happen again.

 

Hypothetically -- and this might not be what would happen, but hypothetically -- if even one blogger reblogged the infographic to add "No, this is false, it's actually an aro term" and then several more bloggers shared it from there, then even if the original poster responded, "Common misconception actually, here's proof," then you've still got people who maybe only saw the post in its earlier form, ending on, "No, it's an aro term." In that scenario, the post ends up with a reblog-tree where one version of the post leaves off on the aro-origin narrative. That's a version that more people might see and get the wrong idea from, which continues the cycle.

 

So when people present the ace-origin narrative in that context, at this point, I think it's risky to simply mention it in passing instead of getting into the proof.

 

For the goal of "addressing the aro-origin misinfo," there are three general things that I figure people can do:

  • Directly correct people who state/spread the misinfo, ideally angling for a retraction. Just telling them isn't enough, since their mistaken posts are also seen by other people, and those people need to be reached, too. 
  • Spread the corrections independently, as an original post/reblog, specifically about the misinfo issue and its causes. 
  • More generally, encourage/participate in broader conversation about the issues this one is intertwined with, in order to try and address some of those root causes.

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On 1/6/2020 at 3:48 PM, Coyote said:

you mentioned an infographic project too, right?

 

Yeah, it's just about done now, should be going up within the next few days. My goal was to just get something that would be a good primer on queerplatonic to compete with the bad one in the tags. I'm thinking the audience for that one is people who don't know what queerplatonic means at all - where I don't think who coined it is necessary.

 

I was more thinking that this would help with combating a slightly different but related misconception - that (allo)aces use queerplatonic to refer to non-sexual romantic relationships (aka "aces stealing aro terms"). I have not personally seen any evidence that suggests that's a widespread problem, and that original infographic is the one post I've seen that actually does that. It's just one post, but it also has nearly 9k notes, which is a problem, and probably the root of that misconception. This was my way of trying to combat that problem at it's source.

 

On 1/6/2020 at 4:49 PM, bydontost said:

i decided to put it there, bc it's sth that aros don't know about and often think aros coined it, this is the reason for this whole thread. the goal is to put accurate info out there in a form that people like, read and reblog (if we're talking about tumblr)

 

That's probably a good idea. I think that's aiming a bit more for an aro audience or at least a more informed audience, as opposed to a general audience like the previous infographic. Perhaps a second infographic aimed more at an aro audience that's about the history of the word queerplatonic would work better for that. I'd mentioned a while back that I might try to make a summary of Coy's history of queerplatonic post that's more digestible - this might be a substitute for that.

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14 hours ago, LauraG said:

Perhaps a second infographic aimed more at an aro audience that's about the history of the word queerplatonic would work better for that.

 

Oh, that reminds me (I knew I was forgetting something) -- besides the things I listed above, I'm also wondering about which blogs might be the most influential in aro tumblr. Or maybe not "influential," but, among the users who have been making misinformed remarks, are there any particular aro bloggers that they listen to on aro issues? And, among those lists, is there any overlap? Someone who could reach more than one at once? If one of those bloggers were willing to reblog something on this, whether it's an infographic like Laura is suggesting or some other myth-debunking post, that might help put this matter to rest as well.

 

I'm not very familiar with that landscape, though. Can y'all offer any insight on who's networked to who?

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