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To come out, or not to come out?

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So, are you guys out to your loved ones?

 

I haven't really felt the need to come out to be honest. My family still asks if I'm ever going to "find someone" as most families tend to do, but it's not difficult to live with. I think I'd rather deal with the questions and avoid having to explain the complex concept that is aromanticism, especially since I'd need to explain it in swedish where there aren't really any equivalent words that aren't clunky. I don't know, I'm still young and being single is still socially acceptable for me.

What's your reasoning?

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I've come out to all my friends years ago but for most of my family it still haven't come up. I would like to be out to them because it would be easier for me to talk about my life plans. Since being aro has a huge impact in how I see my future. But at the same time they never pressure me about romance and seems to be fine with me not dating. So it feels weird to bring it up. We don't really talk about our love life much with each other.

 

BTW I'm Swedish too 😊

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I am out to my sister, her response was "you should just try dating" and that did not really encourage me to come out to my parents. My parents are starting to push me to tell them about my love life, probably because they feel like I am getting to old to not have a relationship (I'm 20 but yeah that's my parents vision of the world I guess). Which does bother me, but I do not think I will ever come out to my parents on my own. They will probably want to have a conversation with me about why I am still single when I'm around 25 and maybe I will tell them then. 

 

I am out to my 2 best friends and they are really supportive, so I also don't really feel the pressure to come out to my parents so that I will have someone to talk to. 

 

I'd say that if you don't feel the need to come out, don't. Because as you said, explaining aromanticism might be more complicated than dealing with the lovelife questions.

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Technically, I'm out to all my WhatsApp contacts as I once encoded an aomantic flag in Base64, represented it in Binary and sent a picture of this as a WhatsApp status. But I don't think anyone bothered to decode this. Effectively, I'm out to most of my friends as I tend to mention it if the topic comes up. I haven't come out to my family, as I wouldn't know when and how to approach the topic and it doesn't really matter as I'm young enough that being single isn't uncommon.

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Same, I don't really feel the need to come out. I've come out to most of my friends and they're (for the most part) super accepting. Some of them have even sent me aro memes. But to my family? Nah. My parents don't even want me to date til after college and that just feels like a ridiculously easy thing to follow. The only thing I don't like is that once in a while they question me as to whether I have a "secret boyfriend" they don't know about, or my extended family will start questioning me as to what my "type" is.

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yeah, i told my parents and a few close friends several months after i started identifying as aro at 17, and plenty more people since then.  like, the very first person i told was my boyfriend at the time, and we broke up a couple months later, so partly it was part of my explanation to other people--not that i owed them one, but whatever.  and i used to be apprehensive too, but it gets easier every time, i mean not accounting for the fact that the responses may not improve.  overall, though, they've been good.  but if you don't feel the need to come out, that's totally fine, it's up to you.

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When I discovered I was aro I had the urge to tell people, but didn't because 1. I don't have a lot of friends, 2. I didn't know how to bring the subject naturally. 

 

Now, I don't feel like this any more. I think about it less. I just "come out" if the subject somehow comes in the conversation. Like the other day, I told someone I was ace just like that, I don't even know what we were talking about, but it sounds like a good idea to precise "I am ace" before saying something about sexe or I don't remember. (And it was fine by the way, I don't even know if "come out" is the good term for that because it was absolutely not the subject of our conversation).

 

So I will not think of "coming out", but I can if I feel like it is good to say I am aro or ace if the conversation is about romanticism or sexuality, or something like that.

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I've always been wary about coming out but have realized that being as open as possible is best for communication purposes. People are far more likely to understand and be supportive if I am able to explain my experiences to them (without giving too much of a life story or trying to justify my feelings). Seeing as I am interested in being in a QPR, being open about being arospec (and ace) will hopefully assist me in communicating my intentions more effectively,thereby enabling others to better understand my experiences,while also helping me navigate my relationships with others better.

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