Jump to content
DogObsessedLianne

Serious-friend relationship question

Recommended Posts

I'm in a QPR with a homoromantic woman who is keen to make a point about us "being together", and talks of "breaking the news to my parents" etc etc, but all this makes me cringe and I've been dragging my feet on the topic feeling uncomfortable about it but clueless as to how to explain this uncomfortableness (is that a word???), but it has always been very hard to put into words to explain how I feel (something I am useless at and why I find forums like this so much help as others can help give me the words to describe). But I recently saw a link on Facebook (here) that I read and was like, "this is totally what I want in life". I just don't see the need to make such a song and dance about sharing life events with a friend (or two). How have others set up more serious friendships without making them on a par with romantic relationships (which everyone will see it as if we announce that we're "together", which makes me even more uncomfortable)?

Thanks

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't been in a situation like that so the only thing I can tell you is that you'll have to set boundaries. Maybe send her the link to the article and explain how that's how you envision your relationship?

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is really interesting...how did you go? Did it work out as planned? 

I really like the article too, and especially the anti-cap critique which I think is really important. So much of the nuclear family is invested in producing labour for the capitalist machine, it's like our friendships don't matter--they're just distractions. I think friendship has this capacity to be involved in a subversive way--when we have affinities with our queer communities, we're less easy to break. 

I'm romance neutral, but sort of freak a little when someone talks about 'dates' in the friendship context. I just like to hang out with friends...I don't know about all the intimacy and emotional labour that comes with that. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well we mutually decided that it wasn't working. Thankfully she had also come to a similar conclusion though much more reluctantly. I totally agree with the couple-based cogs in the capitalist machine idea, the whole of society (at least here in the UK and similar places) is based on couplings.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, DogObsessedLianne said:

I totally agree with the couple-based cogs in the capitalist machine idea, the whole of society (at least here in the UK and similar places) is based on couplings.

I find couple culture quite intimidating and alienating.
Whilst also pervasive, even far beyond (romantic) relationships. e.g. the "split into pairs" meme which commonly appears in education and training.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...