Serious-friend relationship question

[DogObsessedLi]

I'm in a QPR with a homoromantic woman who is keen to make a point about us "being together", and talks of "breaking the news to my parents" etc etc, but all this makes me cringe and I've been dragging my feet on the topic feeling uncomfortable about it but clueless as to how to explain this uncomfortableness (is that a word???), but it has always been very hard to put into words to explain how I feel (something I am useless at and why I find forums like this so much help as others can help give me the words to describe). But I recently saw a link on Facebook (here) that I read and was like, "this is totally what I want in life". I just don't see the need to make such a song and dance about sharing life events with a friend (or two). How have others set up more serious friendships without making them on a par with romantic relationships (which everyone will see it as if we announce that we're "together", which makes me even more uncomfortable)?

Thanks

[Artemis's Aro]

I haven't been in a situation like that so the only thing I can tell you is that you'll have to set boundaries. Maybe send her the link to the article and explain how that's how you envision your relationship?

[VoidpunkDreams]

This is really interesting...how did you go? Did it work out as planned? 

I really like the article too, and especially the anti-cap critique which I think is really important. So much of the nuclear family is invested in producing labour for the capitalist machine, it's like our friendships don't matter--they're just distractions. I think friendship has this capacity to be involved in a subversive way--when we have affinities with our queer communities, we're less easy to break. 

I'm romance neutral, but sort of freak a little when someone talks about 'dates' in the friendship context. I just like to hang out with friends...I don't know about all the intimacy and emotional labour that comes with that. 

[DogObsessedLi]

Well we mutually decided that it wasn't working. Thankfully she had also come to a similar conclusion though much more reluctantly. I totally agree with the couple-based cogs in the capitalist machine idea, the whole of society (at least here in the UK and similar places) is based on couplings.

[Mark]

15 hours ago, DogObsessedLianne said:

I totally agree with the couple-based cogs in the capitalist machine idea, the whole of society (at least here in the UK and similar places) is based on couplings.

I find couple culture quite intimidating and alienating.
Whilst also pervasive, even far beyond (romantic) relationships. e.g. the "split into pairs" meme which commonly appears in education and training.