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Coyote

Romantic Ambivalence Survey

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Hi folks. I'm trying to get the word out about the Romantic Ambivalence Survey. It's intended for any and all people without romantic orientations, people who identify to any degree with wtfromanticism or quoiromanticism, and people who struggle with the concept of romance, romantic orientation, or romantic attraction. The goal of this survey is to find out more about which labels are popular, what people are using them to mean, and how much these identities may or may not intersect with others. The survey will be open and taking responses until August 20th.

 

If you have access to any other platforms or community spaces with anything to do with this topic, or if you know anyone who might be interested, please consider sharing the link further and letting me know. 

 

The results are now posted. :icecream:

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Wait, so by "without romantic orientation", are you including or excluding aromantics?

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11 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Wait, so by "without romantic orientation", are you including or excluding aromantics?

 

Good question. Really, the answer's up to the individual -- do you (general you), as an aromantic, consider yourself someone "without a romantic orientation," or would you sooner say that "my romantic orientation is aromantic"?

 

If you're interested in more aromantic-specific surveys, Siggy posted about some existing ones last month. I don't know of any surveys directed at what I might loosely call "the quoiro umbrella," so this was my attempt to initiate one like that. Granted, I don't know how many quoiros or quoiro-adjacent folks there are here on Arocalypse, but -- well, if you come across any quoiromantic discussion forums, please let me know.

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Fair enough. I was just asking because I wasn't sure if I should take it, or if I'm outside the audience it's intended for.

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5 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Wait, so by "without romantic orientation", are you including or excluding aromantics?

I have the same question, because I consider aromantic as a romantic orientation, so I don't know what to say. I want to say no because I dis agree that I have no romantic orientation (I understand that as "thinking that romantic orientation is not relevant for me"). But at the same time if here it means "being on the aromantic spectrum", my response will be mistaken as "I am alloromantic" and I don't want that either. What should I do?

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1 hour ago, nonmerci said:

I want to say no because I dis agree that I have no romantic orientation (I understand that as "thinking that romantic orientation is not relevant for me").

 

Okay. That's a criterion that doesn't apply to you then.

 

1 hour ago, nonmerci said:

But at the same time if here it means "being on the aromantic spectrum",

 

No, it does not mean being on the aromantic spectrum. When I wrote "people without romantic orientations," I was thinking of personal narratives like this one, this one, or this one, where the authors talk about not wanting to apply the concept of romantic orientation or romantic attraction to themselves, one way or the other.

 

It's possible to feel this way and to also identify on the aromantic spectrum, but the two aren't exactly the same thing. Definitely a fair number of people on the aromantic spectrum do consider "romantic orientation" to be a useful idea and do consider themselves to have one.

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@Coyote I just took the survey and I have a few questions.

 

1) Does 'mehmantic' mean you're neutral to romance or that you're in between feeling and not feeling romantic attraction? Could it mean something else, even?

 

2) Do you know if a post has already been made about this on AVEN? That way I can make a post about it if necessary.

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Have you posted this on r/aromantic on reddit? If not, I can post

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11 hours ago, Coyote said:

No, it does not mean being on the aromantic spectrum. When I wrote "people without romantic orientations," I was thinking of personal narratives like this one, this one, or this one, where the authors talk about not wanting to apply the concept of romantic orientation or romantic attraction to themselves, one way or the other.

 

Thanks for clarifying it.

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12 hours ago, Coyote said:

No, it does not mean being on the aromantic spectrum. When I wrote "people without romantic orientations," I was thinking of personal narratives like this one, this one, or this one, where the authors talk about not wanting to apply the concept of romantic orientation or romantic attraction to themselves, one way or the other.

I found these to be interesting reads.
Is this what you meant about personal narratives rather than lists of labels?

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11 hours ago, The Angel of Eternity said:

1) Does 'mehmantic' mean you're neutral to romance or that you're in between feeling and not feeling romantic attraction? Could it mean something else, even?

 

You'd have to ask Aceadmiral for the specifics. I don't know of it ever being formally introduced/proposed in the way that some terms are (announced with a definition, you know the drill), but you can see some incidental uses of it here, here, and here. Does the sound of it resonate with you, or are you just curious?

 

11 hours ago, The Angel of Eternity said:

2) Do you know if a post has already been made about this on AVEN?

 

Yes.

 

I'm keeping track of the other places the link has been posted here.

 

8 hours ago, Holmbo said:

Have you posted this on r/aromantic on reddit? If not, I can post 

 

I have not. Please do!

 

1 hour ago, Mark said:

Is this what you meant about personal narratives rather than lists of labels?

 

Absolutely. But in more styles than just that, too. The main reference point I have -- the thing I think it would be good to have an aro umbrella equivalent of -- is the essays on the Asexual Perspectives page on AVEN. They're linked right there next to the FAQ, so it makes it easy to start reading further when you're just finding out about/first researching the thing. They're about topics like coming out, discovering your orientation, feeling alienated from society, rude responses people have, advice, and so on. I don't know of any collection of similar essays on, you know... discovering the aromantic umbrella, coming out as aro, feeling alienated from amatonormativity, rude responses people have about aromanticism, advice, personal narratives of living single/unpartnered, etc. People have definitely written about these things, I'm sure, I just don't yet know of any places they've been... collected, as such, in the same way.

 

Now that the Carnival of Aros has started, though, it might be possible to retrofit some of those pieces, if the authors in question would be up for that.

 

 

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10 hours ago, Coyote said:

Does the sound of it resonate with you, or are you just curious?

I was just curious.

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On 7/18/2019 at 4:44 PM, Coyote said:

Absolutely. But in more styles than just that, too. The main reference point I have -- the thing I think it would be good to have an aro umbrella equivalent of -- is the essays on the Asexual Perspectives page on AVEN. They're linked right there next to the FAQ, so it makes it easy to start reading further when you're just finding out about/first researching the thing. They're about topics like coming out, discovering your orientation, feeling alienated from society, rude responses people have, advice, and so on. I don't know of any collection of similar essays on, you know... discovering the aromantic umbrella, coming out as aro, feeling alienated from amatonormativity, rude responses people have about aromanticism, advice, personal narratives of living single/unpartnered, etc. People have definitely written about these things, I'm sure, I just don't yet know of any places they've been... collected, as such, in the same way.

Certainly some of the titles could be applicable from an aro perspective.

 

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On ‎7‎/‎17‎/‎2019 at 8:34 PM, Coyote said:

If you have access to any other platforms or community spaces with anything to do with this topic, or if you know anyone who might be interested, please consider sharing the link further and letting me know. :icecream:

I shared your survey in some fb aro groups. 

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