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Coyote

Labels must be allowed to die (Link)

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13 hours ago, bananaslug said:

My dude, saying that terms and such should be preserved for "easier-to-please people" as you put it, is not even a little bit equivalent to saying that other experiences don’t matter, don’t put words in my mouth.

 

I'm not sure how opaque I was being about this, but when I asked "What about the disappointment and pain of isolation that they feel?" the response I was fishing for was "Yes, that matters too."

 

13 hours ago, bananaslug said:

I believe we can re-think these lists so that they give people more information and context.

 

Cool. A thought I had about that, besides links to coinage and any other "general information" type links, was maybe a set of links to "recent usage," if applicable -- anything where someone actually talks about it or uses it, not counting generic validation posts, moodboards, or flag compilation artwork. This would help people to better be able to gauge how "current" something looks to be and also how it's used in practice. "Recent usage" wouldn't have to mean most recent usage, just more generally, something more recent than the initial coinage post and that shows what the "life" of the term has looked like. If there's no available record of the term actually being used anywhere by any real non-hypothetical people, that could also be noted too.

 

14 hours ago, bananaslug said:

So uh...most aspec terminology lists do mention if there are other terms with the same meaning (including most of the ones in siggy's footnotes).

 

The example that Siggy used was cupiosexual. Here are two lists which list cupiosexuality. The first one also adds "also known as kalossexual." I don't know how much help "kalossexual" is supposed to be, given that I've seen that word even less frequently than cupiosexual. What's missing here isn't just another synonym, generally, but specifically the synonym that would help connect a newbie to actual relevant discussions.

 

I'm explaining this because I can't tell what you're getting at, and I'm trying to account for the possibility that the fault may lie with me, in not being more clear. Are you of the perspective that Siggy's criticism there is unwarranted, or are you saying something else?

 

9 hours ago, Apathetic Echidna said:

Okay, maybe it is because I am spending time in A-spec centred spaces but MOGAI as it has been used semi-recently seemed to exclude ace and aro.

 

o.o

 

4 hours ago, Mark said:

I'm wondering if an alloromantic cupiosexual (or sex favourable ace in general) might be rather "invisible". In the sense that a normative romosexual relationship might work well for them, even though their motivation differs from that of an alloromantic allosexual.

 

I used to think the same thing about romance-neutral aromantic allosexuals, lol. People's realities can surprise you.

 

Anyway, Talia's post Living as a Sex-Favourable Asexual is about being in a romantic relationships/contexts as a panromantic ace. While the relationship might be described as... romosexual... I don't think their experience is really as straightforward as you might expect.

 

4 hours ago, Mark said:

With a cupiroromantic asexual  seeking something romantic and non-sexual. Especially if they are sex repulsed. Maybe similar to an alloromantic asexual.

 

I'm not sure how much the cupioromantics would appreciate you saying that.

 

4 hours ago, Mark said:

This is a rather complicated model

 

Yeah don't take the radar charts too seriously lol.

 

4 hours ago, Mark said:

Obvious difficulty is thinking up a good set of appropriate options.
I may have a go later.

 

I was thinking the same thing -- it'd be easier if there were checkbox options, instead of forcing people to pick just one. Might have to use another site or googleforms or something instead of the built-in forum polls, if you want to allow that much freedom.

 

4 hours ago, Mark said:

I'm wondering if this "reinvention" is, in some ways, the result of lack of good first person narratives and communities.

 

Yeah, that's been a part of my theory too. Another reason why I think there needs to be a resource bank of personal essays, not just word lists.

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14 hours ago, Coyote said:

The example that Siggy used was cupiosexual. Here are two lists which list cupiosexuality. The first one also adds "also known as kalossexual." I don't know how much help "kalossexual" is supposed to be, given that I've seen that word even less frequently than cupiosexual. What's missing here isn't just another synonym, generally, but specifically the synonym that would help connect a newbie to actual relevant discussions.

I found a few references to kalossexual. Many of which describe it in similar ways to cupiosexual, such as Urban Dictionary. Though few of them also mention cupiosexual.
There was this tumblr post, with dead links unfortunately, which suggests that the coiner of the term might have misunderstood the meaning of "kalos" (καλός).
(Maybe it's another reference to Plato.)
Another possibly related term on the second list is "Iculasexual/Icularomantic". Here the Urban Dictionary entry does link the former with sex positivity. As well as the other obscure term "pothisexuality".

Something which would definitely help here would be indicating that cupio is a Latin term which can be translated as desire/want/wish for/favour/crave/etc.
As well as commentary about many of the other prefixes used for terms on these lists, including why they were chosen.

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I do sympathise with people who question the need for labels.  Personally I prefer seeing them as descriptors, and if useful in self-knowledge or for explaining then fine, if they cause more confusion I generally question them!!! Though if you then need to explain the definition it can defeat the point, or on the contrary it could help put words into otherwise clueless mouths (I for one have relied on subterms to help put words to what I'm experiencing, for me the likes of aplatonic, romance-repulsed, etc etc have helped word my experiences and feelings). But yeah, some glossaries are headachy and so probably counterproductive!!!!!! Just my two cents 😀

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