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mookins

How old should you be to start identifying as aromantic?

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Im 15 and are told that i havent got one because im autistic (i searched and we romantically develop the same as allistics)

I have felt... something, theyre attractive and i wouldnt mind a peck but like, not a romantic relationship, a friendship the same as all my others at most, i wouldnt even act on kissing

Im not romance repulsed, but its weird to see romance everywhere when you havent felt it?

Am I aro or just too young like everyone says?ūü§Ēūüíö

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It's up to you, if you change your mind in the future you'll stop to identify as Aro. Plus, within your lifetime there should be gene therapies for autism.

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The same age at which it's OK for someone to start identifying as alloromantic. Which is definitely preteen.
 

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How old should you be to start identifying as aromantic?

 

Old enough to talk.

 

19 hours ago, mookins said:

Am I aro or just too young like everyone says?

 

Getting told "you're too young to know that" is a common experience to all sorts of people who aren't straight (or cisgender, for that matter). It's a double standard, because those same people probably wouldn't have told you "you're too young to know that, maybe it'll change" if what you had said was "I'm straight." They're just generalizing based off of what's more familiar to them. It's a type of reaction to expect from people -- but not something to take to heart. It's okay to identify as aromantic if that's the term that feels right to you. No matter how old or young you are. I promise. 

 

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Also autistic! I started identifying as aro at 14, there's no age minimum; if you say you're aro, you're aro!  with any identity there's a possibility it will change as you age but that's not limited to aro people, if you consider yourself straight it could change, if you identify as cis it could change, ect! ♥

Next point though: 

On 6/16/2019 at 8:49 PM, Spacenik86 said:

Plus, within your lifetime there should be gene therapies for autism.ÔĽŅ

this,,, seems a little iffy, can you clarify, Spacenik? because as it stands it seems like you consider autism to be a negative thing that needs to be 'cured'? am i interpreting it wrong? 

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On 6/17/2019 at 2:40 AM, Coyote said:

Getting told "you're too young to know that" is a common experience to all sorts of people who aren't straight (or cisgender, for that matter). It's a double standard, because those same people probably wouldn't have told you "you're too young to know that, maybe it'll change" if what you had said was "I'm straight."


It can even happen that young people who identify as cis, straight, marriage minded, etc. get praised as "mature".
Similarly such people are rarely asked questions like "What do you think caused your heterosexuality, alloromanticism or cis identity?" or " When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual, alloromantic or cis gender?". (Typically when this does happen they are being asked by a queer person to illustrate the double standard.)

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21 hours ago, eOrion said:

this,,, seems a little iffy, can you clarify, Spacenik? because as it stands it seems like you consider autism to be a negative thing that needs to be 'cured'? am i interpreting it wrong? 

 

It's a form of disability. Social disability to be precise. If people with a physical disability could buy a healthy leg, wouldn't they do it? Us transhumanists say: the same applies to mental and emotional disabilities.

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Autistic people aren't lesser, and the community is very actively against 'cure' rhetoric, autism is an inherent part of who we are as people; to take it away would remove all that makes us us.

We are healthy. Autism isn't an illness. 
If autistic people suffer it's not inherent to being autistic; it'h/s an issue of society, of bullying, and refusal to accommodate us, why not aim to fix that instead of completely changing who we are as people?

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On 6/16/2019 at 7:11 AM, mookins said:

Im 15 and are told that i havent got one because im autistic (i searched and we romantically develop the same as allistics)

It sounds like you are experiencing infantilisation, thus ableism, as well as arophobia.
As you have correctly concluded autistic people are not "behind" NTs in terms of development of romantic orientation. (Ditto for sexual orientation and gender identity.)

 

On 6/16/2019 at 7:11 AM, mookins said:

Am I aro or just too young like everyone says?ūü§Ēūüíö

It isn't everyone. So much as those who are saying are most noticeable. These people would be best ignored.

 

48 minutes ago, Spacenik86 said:

It's a form of disability. Social disability to be precise. If people with a physical disability could buy a healthy leg, wouldn't they do it? Us transhumanists say: the same applies to mental and emotional disabilities.

If you follow the Social model of disability it's not the case that disabled people wanting to be "fixed" so much as disabled people wanting to be treated as equal with the abled.
Not all people without, functional, legs would want to have a cloned or bionic limbs.
Similarly for blind, deaf or paraplegic people.
Also the case for the idea of changing autistic people into neurotypicals; aromantics into allo(hetero)romantics; homo/bi/asexuals into heterosexuals; trans people into cis people; etc. 

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43 minutes ago, Mark said:

If you follow the Social model of disability it's not the case that disabled people wanting to be "fixed" so much as disabled people wanting to be treated as equal with the abled.

Not all people without, functional, legs would want to have a cloned or bionic limbs.
Similarly for blind, deaf or paraplegic people.

 

Wow, your post just shows that this board is what I suspected to be - an echo chamber for insane far leftists.

I'm done with this place.

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Mark: "here's some facts about disabled people"
Spacenik: "how dARE YOU?? This is way too PC!! how can people post facts i hate this place"


Giving information about disability isn't "insane" or "an echo chamber" its just,,, factual? Why is that so offensive to you Spacenik?

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Autism is  not a disability, is another way of react (any therapist would tell you that). Just like gifted people (is it the word in English for people with a High I.Q?), it is a different way of thinking. I never see an autistic people wanting to be "cured", in particular autistic people with a normal or High I.Q.

Being different doesn't mean being inferior. 

 

2 hours ago, Spacenik86 said:

 

Wow,ÔĽŅ your post just shows that this board is what I suspected to be - an echo chamber for insane far leftists.

I'm done with this place.

He just showed fact.  You are the one not acceptons contradiction. By denying the fact, you are just dogmatic.

 

 

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6 hours ago, Mark said:

If you follow the¬†Social model of disability¬†it's not the case that disabled people wanting to be "fixed" so much as disabled people wanting to be treated as equal with the abled.ÔĽŅÔĽŅ
Not all people without, functional, legs would want to have a cloned or bionic limbs.
Similarly for blind, deaf or paraplegic people.
Also the case for the idea of¬†changing autistic people into neurotypicals; aromantics into allo(hetero)romantics; homo/bi/asexuals into heterosexuals; trans people into cis people; etc.¬† ÔĽŅ

In the wilderness of nature, having no functional legs puts you at a disadvantage. Autism probably not. I think that‚Äės an important difference, which the social model of disability as described in the Wikipedia article, does not address.

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2 minutes ago, DeltaV said:

In the wilderness of nature, having no functional legs puts you at a disadvantage. Autism probably not. I think that‚Äės an important difference, which the social model of disability as described in the Wikipedia article, does not address.

A fair point.
On the other hand there are few, if any, humans currently living in the "wilderness of nature".
The question being if there are forms of society where the social model is not applicable?
It's certainly possible for nomadic hunter gatherers to include the physically disabled.

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I think I was like... mid 20s. I didnt know the word existed and I never really was able to imagine myself with a romantic partner and had a (rather amatonormative) rule in my Youth that Id just marry the first person I could stand to live with.

But it wasnt until I became very close to a friend who very much wanted something romantic with me, and I knew I felt something very strong for him that definitely wasnt romance(we are still deeply loyal to each other even though our lives have long parted paths and diverged) and Googled it. I found the word "squish" on AVEN and found aro and that was that. I started being out this year on tumblr, and bought a white ring.

 

To be honest i dont think you need an "age". You can be any age. If you feel thats you, then use the label. I also dont believe theres anything wrong with young people exploring their identities and maybe Even changing labels later in life. 

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On 6/16/2019 at 8:49 PM, Spacenik86 said:

It's up to you, if you change your mind in the future you'll stop to identify as Aro. Plus, within your lifetime there should be gene therapies for autism.

How would gene therapies for it work? My brain is literally structured differently to a neurotypicals

I'd end up completely different in this hypothetical future

Anxiety, however, is a chemical imbalance and causes more issues so this might work for it

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