TripleA Posted June 14, 2019 Share Posted June 14, 2019 So...I am (possibly) Aromantic. Sounds easy enough to understand, right? Well, I'm also a lesbo (code: I'm a homosexual). This makes things harder. I don't "crush" the way others do. I just want sensual, emotional and sexual closeness to a girl. The romantic part I can live without, I don't get anything out of it and, in some cases, it can make me feel a bit uncomfortable. Being touched is something that I am very particular about (btw I am autistic). So I don't feel that I can be in a normal relationship because every relationship is romantic in some way (like a dating relationship), even Aces are ok in this realm. However, I feel like I would just let the other girl down. On the other side of the coin, whilst they sound great in theory, I cannot do QPRs because 1. not many people will know about them and 2. remember the sexual part? Yeeah that's a problem. On top of that, my alterous attraction is very sparse, it's only happened twice. What I want: - affection (give affection) but with limitations like I don't like the idea of holding hands. - sex - eventually someone to have kids with - someone I can trust That's it. Hopefully someone in this world, other than me, also feels this way but idk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyote Posted June 16, 2019 Share Posted June 16, 2019 On 6/14/2019 at 5:08 PM, TripleA said: So I don't feel that I can be in a normal relationship because every relationship is romantic in some way (like a dating relationship), It sounds like you may have made that ruling preemptively. "Every relationship is romantic in some way"? That's far from true. I understand that you may be fearing some friction in looking for what you want, and that apprehension may be warranted -- but relationships are whatever you make them to be. On 6/14/2019 at 5:08 PM, TripleA said: even Aces are ok in this realm. what? On 6/14/2019 at 5:08 PM, TripleA said: On the other side of the coin, whilst they sound great in theory, I cannot do QPRs because 1. not many people will know about them and 2. remember the sexual part? Yeeah that's a problem. Only a problem if you feel it's a problem. On 6/14/2019 at 5:08 PM, TripleA said: What I want: - affection (give affection) but with limitations like I don't like the idea of holding hands. - sex - eventually someone to have kids with - someone I can trust That's it. Hopefully someone in this world, other than me, also feels this way but idk. I think you'd be surprised. I don't mean to downplay your personal struggles, but this all sounds fairly within reach so far -- as much as sexual partnerships can be described as such. It is fairly standard for some people to take a long time (i.e. years) to find a partner they're compatible with, after all. But this really doesn't sound as niche or outlandish as you're making it out to be. Just focus on the parts that you *are* looking for, while also making sure to communicate your specific personal boundaries, like hand holding, whatever other things feel too romantic for your tastes, etc. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TripleA Posted June 16, 2019 Author Share Posted June 16, 2019 13 hours ago, Coyote said: what? I'm referring to Asexual Alloromantics, as they have more luck in being in a normal relationship without sex. It's more likely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyote Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 6 hours ago, TripleA said: I'm referring to Asexual Alloromantics, Well then using "aces" to mean that one segment of them, specifically, is certainly at least a little disrespectful to the ones who aren't. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.