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At what age did you discover you were aromantic?

At what age did you discover you were aromantic?  

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Many people that I have come out to have said I am too young to be aromantic or just a late bloomer (I started id-ing as aro at 16). I wonder how far off I am from the average arocalypse user and what those demographics look like.

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I was about 18 when I started identifying as aromantic, but I knew I was different from everyone else in regards to orientation by the time I was 10 or so. I just never knew being aromantic was an option. I thought something was just wrong with me.

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18. Since "straight" is, like, a "default" or something, i thought I was. Well, not really… I started looking at peoples closely to see if I felt something. I didn't. (i had no idea how attraction was supposed to work ^^ I still don't.).

 

Then i remembered that word i found on the net once. Aromantic. 

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I found and identified with the label at 17, but from 15 I knew that I wasn't interested in the kind of relationship that it seemed like everyone else really wanted and cared more about than anything else. I have actually been doing a lot better since connecting with the aromantic community online than when I thought it was the way just I was.

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3 or so months ago I realized that I never had butterflies. I always thought butterflies were like an exaggeration for caring for someone. I talked to some of my alloromantic friends who don't exaggerate like ever and when they were able to give me like the same feeling and where it occurred in their body, I was like "oh." I always know asexual was a thing (one of my beloved friends is ace) then began wondering about a romantic equivalent and found this forum and and read over the early signs and just went "OH" and well, here I am.

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On 6/2/2019 at 4:49 PM, Cristal Gris said:

18. Since "straight" is, like, a "default" or something, i thought I was. Well, not really… I started looking at peoples closely to see if I felt something. I didn't. (i had no idea how attraction was supposed to work ^^ I still don't.).

 

Then i remembered that word i found on the net once. Aromantic. 

When I was really young maybe 10 or 11 my friends would always talk about crushes and squeal and giggles I just didn't understand it and I would look for a crush so I could understand and talk more with my friends (they were guys that looked "cute") but I never understood wanting to talk with them or spying on them. Then in middle school in 7th or 8th grade my friend (who's big and very well informed with the lgtbq+) was telling me about a guy she talked to Im not sure if I've even had a crush and I couldn't understand how these "fuzzy feelings" work I spent the whole day trying to imagine liking someone that you know as a person or liking someone at all. She explained to me what being aromantic was and well here I am.

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I'm unsure what answer to give.
Do I go with when I first found the social obsession with couples to be odd (about 7); when I was prepared to give the idea a try, without much enthusiasm (teens); when I was absolutely sure I didn't want be married/be in a couple/etc.(early 20's); when I came up with the term 'non couple oriented' (early 40's) or when I found out the term 'aromantic' (late 40's)? 

 

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found the term at 16, went from denial through various stages of uncertainty, to acceptance around 8 months later, at 17.  so that's when i count it, when i first said to myself 'ok, i'm going to identify as aromantic,' even though it still felt kind of daunting so i told myself i didn't have to stick to it or tell anyone.  i became more and more comfortable with it, and my first coming-outs (boyfriend and parents) were about 5 months later.  i can point to a couple other significant events along my journey; as i'm sure you all know, it's not a single, definite moment.  or maybe it is for some, i don't know.  but yeah, 17.  

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It sucks how little Aro stuff Exists to the wider world. I was forced to call myself '....... straight??'    Whenever the questions came up. I did find out when I was around 21 though, so not too bad. =)  Its painful to imagine how confused I would be without the internet though. :P

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At 23, when I discovered what the word meant. I had signs since I'm eight but it didn't come to my mind that being aro was a thing.

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Knew something was weird with me since I was 10, never knew the term until 4 months ago, so 14 was the actual time of discovery

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Guest Chandrakirti

Only when I was 56...then it all fell into place...

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On 6/5/2019 at 5:47 PM, StarNinja said:

It sucks how little Aro stuff Exists to the wider world. I was forced to call myself '....... straight??'    Whenever the questions came up. I did find out when I was around 21 though, so not too bad. 😃 Its painful to imagine how confused I would be without the internet though. :P

With large proportion of what does exist either portraying it as a subset of ace or entirely conflating them.
It's in some ways surprising that allo aros (especially hetero aros) manage to work out they are aro given this situation.

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I chose "under 11" because I'd decided I'd never get married since a very young age.  I didn't know the term "aromantic" until I was about 14-15 though.  

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I blame the lack of public knowledge of the existance of aromantic as a concept, for my late discovery!! Nobody told me about its existence!

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On 6/10/2019 at 10:54 AM, Mark said:

It's in some ways surprising that allo aros (especially hetero aros) manage to work out they are aro given this situation.

haha yeah.  i'd never considered that i might be anything other than straight because i thought it was synonymous with heterosexual, nothing else to it.  one day i just stumbled upon explanations of aromanticism and split attraction and thought "hmm.  interesting."  and so it began.

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