Question/Suggestion - Sexuality Board

[Coyote]

I wrote this up expecting it to be short and then it wasn't, so I've broken it up into sections: the Problem, the Catch, and a few suggestions for a Solution.

 

The Problem

 

Lately, what I've been happening to come across from aro tumblr suggests a dire need for moderated spaces. For example: Tumblr users generally use "tags" as kind of makeshift community spaces, but tags are unmoderated, so when there's a problem with off-topic content in the tags, there's no way for anyone else to remove it. Here are some posts that talk about this in relation to aro tumblr: example, example, example. More generally, I've also come across some posts from aro allos (specifically) talking about feeling like they're not allowed to talk about sexuality in the aromantic community. Here are some posts that talk about this: example, example. To me, as much as we can try to hold the problem people accountable, this also points toward a structural need for more private and/or more moderated spaces.

 

Arocalypse may not offer more privacy (for that, I'd recommend Dreamwidth or Pillowfort), but it does have more moderation than the Tumblr aro tags. So, from seeing these conversations, I'm wondering about how Arocalypse can create more of the space that these folks are expressing a need for -- aro spaces for talking about sexuality.

 

I came here to this board, the Site Comments board, to suggest the creation of a Sexuality* board to begin to address this.

 

*Note: in this particular case, I am using "sexuality" and not "allosexuality." That's because I'm trying to refer something a little more detached from specific identity labels. I don't want people to feel stuck or unsure whether they should use the board on account of not having a sexual orientation label, as is the case for some aros.

 

The Catch

 

But then I noticed that there already was a Sexuality board. The current title for it is Sexuality and Gender. It's currently in the Miscellaneous category (after the Aromanticism category), and its description is this:

 

Quote

Topics here are about various sexual orientations or aromantic and greyromantic people, and the LGBT community in general.

 

From that description ("various sexual orientations") and from looking at the most recently-bumped threads, it sounds like this is for "sexuality" in a very general sense that includes "asexuality." Currently the front page of threads in that board includes titles like "Is it possible to be aromantic, but NOT asexual?" "Aromanticism + A/sexual Identity - How does everyone here identify?" "Demisexuality, sex drive and the emotional bond" and "The Asexual Thread." So this is a board both intended for and being used for ace umbrella conversations.

 

That's all well and good on its own, but my concern is that's not as useful for addressing the aro allosexual silencing issue.

 

The Solution?

 

I don't know if any changes would make sense here or, if so, what changes would make aro allosexuals feel more welcome to speak. The goal would be to provide a moderated space where aro-umbrella folks of all kinds can have conversations about sexuality -- not "sexual orientation" generally, not celibacy, not nonlibidoism, but sexuality, as in sexual attraction, sexual desire, sexual relationships, and sexual activity. This is what I'm hearing a need for, so this is what I'm suggesting changes be made in order to accommodate. But like I said, I don't know what changes would make the most sense here. I'm going to toss out just a few possibilities as examples:

 

1) Everything stays the same, because this issue should be addressed a different way.

 

2) The Sexuality and Gender board stays the same, but a new Sexuality board is created. Insert your name/description suggestions here.

 

3) The Sexuality and Gender board changes its name and/or its description to be more sexually-oriented. Insert your name/description suggestions here.

 

4) The Sexuality and Gender board changes its name and/or description to be more reflective of its current content (ex. "Orientation" instead of "Sexuality"), and also, a new Sexuality board is created. Insert your name/description suggestions here. 

 

5) A new Sexuality subboard is created. It's located within the Sexuality and Gender board. Insert your name/description suggestions here.

 

*) Bonus idea from Sennkestra: a TMI ("too much information") thread is created, for those topics that you might want to put a "TMI" warning on before you bring them up.

 

What do y'all think?

 

 

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

Oh shit that's me

 

Honestly, I like the second option best.

[Coyote]

39 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Oh shit that's me

 

It's you \o/ haha, hi. I knew you had an Arocalypse account but was too shy to tag you. I didn't want to be presumptuous.

 

40 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Honestly, I like the second option best.

 

2) The Sexuality and Gender board stays the same, but a new Sexuality board is created. 

 

Aight, so there is some interest in a new board altogether... We'd have to think of some board name to make it sufficiently distinct from the "Sexuality and Gender" board, and also I'm thinking the description should maybe have specific words like sexual attraction, sexual desire, sexual relationships, etc. to make the purpose clear.

 

Another thing, too: Would it also go under the Miscellaneous category? That seems to fit technically well enough, but I wonder if that'd risk letting it go overlooked.

 

[sennkestra]

If you want name suggestions, "sex and sexuality" is something that could be used to indicate that it's more about the sexual behavior/feelings aspect than the identity aspect (as opposed to say, sexuality and gender or orientations and gender or sexual and gender identities etc. As names for the current forum).

 

For example http://www.scarleteen.com/bb/ (although I don't think it makes sense to go quite so granular here as it is already a smaller forum)

 

 

On another note, this doesn't solve most of the wider issue at all but could address one specific slice - when I was back on AVEN, there was at one point a stickied "TMI Thread" that was an open thread for any and all explicit topics that one might want to discuss (often sexual or genital related, but sometimes other things like explicit descriptions of weird medical issues or whatever.) It was a great place for having frank discussions about things like, say, vaginal secretions or masturbation techniques or frustration about vaginismus or other things that other users may not have wanted to see un-warned-for in other general threads.

 

[Coyote]

On 5/24/2019 at 7:01 AM, sennkestra said:

If you want name suggestions, "sex and sexuality" is something that could be used to indicate that it's more about the sexual behavior/feelings aspect than the identity aspect

 

hm, that just might work. I like that idea.

 

Also interested in hearing people's thoughts on the TMI thread idea -- I'll add that one into the top post as another suggestion.