questioning :3

[Blackmoon13]

So, for a good while, I've used the label panromantic as I thought that describes me, however, I have before questioned if I am demiromantic since I can experience romantic attraction when I have a strong emotional connection to that person but its a very confusing thing to pinpoint down, like I don't really get crushes (i mean maybe on fictional characters but I can somehow emotionally connect myself to them if that makes sense  :3 ) but maybe if I do, it is usually on someone who I am close to and strongly emotionally connected to  but even then that's not very often 

however now I have a very awkward situation, so me and one of my friends were hanging out before I go to my lgbtq+ society meetup and she said oh you and R (one of the guys in our friend group) would make a good couple and now it seems like I have a squish on him but its all just confusing for me and yesterday, me her, R and another guy from the friend group were sat in the library cafe mucking around and talking then talking about how there were three single peeps (me and the other 2 guys) and she jokingly went to R wink wink nudge nudge to him about me since we do get on very well and a lot of other things as well so that's making me even more confused, like idm the shipping of us since i know it can be kinda fun and stuff yet I just wanna hang out with him when its just us two and do more platonic stuff and see if maybe if we can for the strong emotional connection :3 

[Coyote]

2 hours ago, Blackmoon13 said:

however now I have a very awkward situation, so me and one of my friends were hanging out before I go to my lgbtq+ society meetup and she said oh you and R (one of the guys in our friend group) would make a good couple and now it seems like I have a squish on him but its all just confusing for me and yesterday, me her, R and another guy from the friend group were sat in the library cafe mucking around and talking then talking about how there were three single peeps (me and the other 2 guys) and she jokingly went to R wink wink nudge nudge to him about me since we do get on very well and a lot of other things as well so that's making me even more confused

 

Oh geez. If I were in your shoes, I would consider her behavior as being rude.

 

While it sounds like you don't feel that strongly about it, in the end, even if she thinks you two dating would be a good idea, the fact that you are not currently dating deserves to be respected in its own right. To me, repeatedly suggesting that two people date each other is no more respectful than repeatedly suggesting that two people in a happy romantic relationship should break up. You shouldn't have to date or not date someone just because a friend thinks so.

 

You've said here that your friend's suggestions are making things confusing for you, and you've also said that you just want to hang out with him. So it sounds like you do have a good sense of what you want in your friendship to R. As for your first friend, it sounds like her "jokes" are causing you more confusion than entertainment. To the extent that you are comfortable, I think it may be worth mentioning to her that you aren't enjoying the jokes and don't want so much advice about who to date. I don't know your friend, so I don't have a good sense of whether she will take that easily enough or whether she might become offended -- but if it were me, I'd try to mention it as lightly as possible, in an offhand "oh, you're standing on my foot" kind of way. If she responds in a persistent or confrontational way, that itself is a bad sign. The actual relationships you have and want to have with people deserve to be respected. And even if what you want may change -- it's also okay for it not to change. 

 

[Blackmoon13]

I mean I don't find the jokes rude since it's not 24/7 and I don't find them overbearing since she knows I'm questioning if I am demiromantic or not but what kinda made it confusing since idk if I explained it well enough but after just mentioning,  I did wonder  maybe as me and R are pretty close in a way and we do share similar interests and ngl I am beginning to get an emotional connection (I wouldn't say it's strong yet so no romantic attraction yet)  towards him and when I googled what a squish is, it seemed to explain how I am feeling towards him and  since I am pretty anxious on dating or falling for someone within my friend group as I worried badly about a nasty breakup and it becoming awkward that may also be playing as a factor

[Holmbo]

Maybe don't worry that much about labels at this point. If you want to hang out more with R you can do so without having to know exactly what you're feelings are.