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Writing an AroAce Character?


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Hi everyone!

Right now I'm writing a story in which a supporting character (the main character's best friend) comes out as aroace. He's a seventeen-year-old boy (and a vampire, but that's just a story element). Other than his orientation, he is a very flawed character. He has a slightly big-headed personality, he's overly critical of others, he's talkitive, but he's still a loyal friend who's very funny and entertaining. His main struggle during the story happens when he joins a gang for a short amount of time. The gang is basically a group of murderers who are trying to rebel against the status quo, but it doesn't take him long to realize that what the gang is doing is wrong, and he leaves them. He also struggles because his family expects him to get married someday, as is the norm, and he knows he won't want this.

 

I am not aroace, so do any of you have tips for what stereotypes to avoid and how to properly represent an aroace person? Also what books you know that feature aroace characters, which I might use for reference. Thanks, have a lovely day!

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As someone who is aroace and not a writer the main thing I'd advise is making sure the character isn't emotionally closed-off. Generally aroace characters are robots/aliens/AI who struggle with any relationship (including friendship) and are basically emotionless - which can be pretty frustrating.  

 

Good luck with your story! 

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There is a stereotype that affect both aces and aros sometime : ace don't mean sex repulsed and aro don't mean romance repulsed. Unless your character is both ? In that case, this is fine.

 

Also, aroace peoples can be oriented! Like, they can be bi aroace or gay aroace. They can give a label for their platonic attraction (like sensual or queerplatonic (i think? )) But again, if your character is not, this is also fine.

 

(it's just informative, maybe you already know it)

 

Good luck !

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On 3/16/2019 at 12:15 AM, hermi1e said:

His main struggle during the story happens when he joins a gang for a short amount of time.

do you already have the motivation planned for why he joins a gang?

Because you could tie in a bit of 'I need to find friends who will be more like family and won't leave me when they start dating' feels. Lots of people around on this site, ace or aro or aroace or other, seem to find themselves dropped from friendships when the friends get into a romantic relationship and it hurts, and finding friend's who won't leave are like golden tickets of happiness. 

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On 3/17/2019 at 9:40 AM, MiniChelonia said:

the main thing I'd advise is making sure the character isn't emotionally closed-off.

Good to know! He is kind of a cynical person who is critical of others, and he sometimes has a hard time communicating about things that embarrass him. Does this sound emotionally closed-off? I don't intend for him to be that way, so I would like to fix it. Thanks!

On 3/17/2019 at 11:09 AM, Cristal Gris said:

Also, aroace peoples can be oriented! Like, they can be bi aroace or gay aroace. They can give a label for their platonic attraction (like sensual or queerplatonic

 

I didn't know about this! Can you explain?

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He doesn't sound emotionally closed-off to me. More like the fun friend who don't like to talk about his feelings.

Anyway I think this is ok to have an emotionally closed-off aroace as long as it is clear this is not lin to aromanticism (ok, I am biaised because I one create a psychopath aroace, so...).

 

I think Cristal gris is talking about squishes and other type of attractions? Squishes are an "aro crush" : the need to be come friend with someone.

But I let the aros who are engaged in qpr explain (personnaly I don't care about QPR as all aros are not into it).

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42 minutes ago, hermi1e said:

I didn't know about this! Can you explain

Well, i don't think i am aroace oriented myself, but i "know" some of them. One of them was attracted in a sensual (not sexual) way to girls only so they called themself a lesbian aroace. 

 

28 minutes ago, nonmerci said:

I think Cristal gris is talking about squishes and other type of attractions? Squishes are an "aro crush" : the need to be come friend with someone.

But I let the aros who are engaged in qpr explain (personnaly I don't care about QPR as all aros are not into it).

Squishes were not what i was thinking about, but i must admit, I don't know everything about this. I just though it was worth mentioning.

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