Zae Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 Oh, yeah, That stuff's annoying~ I'm lucky that stuff isn't a big issue in my family so I only heard it a few times from them, but the time befor I came out to my friend was hell -.- She would talk to me about that every day and would start to say how "creepy" I was once I told her I didn't want a partner -.- Happy she stopped after I explained stuff to her~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piplup Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 7 hours ago, throughtheheart said: "Are you sure you don't like anyone?" YES. I AM QUITE SURE. THANK YOU. me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyFenton123 Posted April 3, 2016 Author Share Posted April 3, 2016 4 minutes ago, Ærath said: Oh, yeah, That stuff's annoying~ I'm lucky that stuff isn't a big issue in my family so I only heard it a few times from them, but the time befor I came out to my friend was hell -.- She would talk to me about that every day and would start to say how "creepy" I was once I told her I didn't want a partner -.- Happy she stopped after I explained stuff to her~ That's awful you got that reaction. Apparently we're creepy because we don't want to get married? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wayfarer Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 What I used to get from my parents especially, was "You will want someone to settle down with sometime, so you shouldn't make such a fuss about it." I've since had a couple good conversations with them (coming out as ace and agender) so they've been a bit calmer about it recently. I'm still young enough that people around me aren't expecting me to get married yet, so that probably helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zae Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 10 minutes ago, DannyFenton123 said: That's awful you got that reaction. Apparently we're creepy because we don't want to get married? I don't really understand that girls usage of the word "creepy" But I think my Aro-Ace-ness was a major factor together with me "not talking much"(-.-) She thought it was very weird for somebody not to feel romantic or sexual attraction but we're fine now =3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dodecahedron314 Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 I don't get this too often, thankfully, but what drives me up the wall is that when I do, it's always from my mom, and whenever I say that's not happening, she always says "Well, that's what I always thought when I was your age too--I thought I'd never get married, never have kids, never do anything like that, but things change and here I am." No matter how many times I bring up the fact that there are very different reasons why I say these things than the ones she had, she just. doesn't. get it. >.< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mezzo Forte Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 5 hours ago, DannyFenton123 said: Jeez! That's awful Yeah, usually people who say stuff like that don't really know me I remembered meeting some neighbor for the first time, and when he told me to "try picking up a bachelor to go with your Bachelor's degree," my mom looked at him and said "[Mezzo Forte]'s way too independent for that!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikasa Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 Oh yes, I've heard that very often. My mother also often makes comments like 'You don't want ...? (kids, a dog, to get married, whatever) But what if your future partner does?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tea-cup-full-of-spiders Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 Oh geez, this and "you'll meet the right person someday" >_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyFenton123 Posted April 4, 2016 Author Share Posted April 4, 2016 6 hours ago, Mikasa said: Oh yes, I've heard that very often. My mother also often makes comments like 'You don't want ...? (kids, a dog, to get married, whatever) But what if your future partner does?' I once said to my grandfather in a conversation that if I was going to get married, I wouldn't change my maiden name because I like it a lot. He said once I meet this magical person, what if he (because obviously he) didn't like that? This argument has also been applied to me being a vegetarian, dying my hair, dreaming of moving to Austraiia, wanting to be a social worker... heck, pretty much anything my parents and guardians don't like. And if all this is true, why would I want to touch this guy with a bargepole? It seems like a toxic relationship, giving up your dreams and desires because this random bloke doesn't like 'em? 2 hours ago, tea-cup-full-of-spiders said: Oh geez, this and "you'll meet the right person someday" >_< Yup. We're all just waiting to be swept off our feet by The One(TM) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aihpen Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 I get this kind of comments all the time, but it's not so often about marriage, it's more about getting a boyfriend. "When you have a boyfriend...", "I can't wait for the day you'll introduce me to your future boyfriend." etc. is what I usually get Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deactivated Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 I've been told that I've got to get married and have kids! Double trouble. I'm probably gonna get married anyway though, and I do want kids so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayn Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 I hear this all the time from my family, specifically my step-mother. It can get kinda old, though I don't think I'd mind being part of a qpr and platonically marrying someone just for the companionship. But I'm not sure how well my family would take that one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OttRInvy Posted April 4, 2016 Share Posted April 4, 2016 I've told my mom I'm uninterested in dating several times, and while I never used the word "aromantic," I'm pretty sure my asexuality has made her think I'm effectively aromantic. (Which I am pretty much, sooooo...) She's trying harder to say "if you get married," as I've corrected her several times, but she's getting more and more vocal about her confusion that I haven't started dating yet/grown out of this "phase." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zema Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 I don't specifically get the "when you get married...", but my mum has recently been saying that i have a better chance of getting a girlfriend than my brother simply because there are more girls doing the same uni course as me. Like no, that's not how it works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deltaX Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 14 hours ago, Zemaddog said: I don't specifically get the "when you get married...", but my mum has recently been saying that i have a better chance of getting a girlfriend than my brother simply because there are more girls doing the same uni course as me. Like no, that's not how it works. I get this from the other direction: "You're a smart girl in a male-dominated field, how do you not have a boyfriend yet?!?" Sometimes I want to remind people that finding a boyfriend isn't just a matter of finding a single guy, it's a matter of actually wanting to be in a relationship (which I don't). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 7 minutes ago, deltaX said: I get this from the other direction: "You're a smart girl in a male-dominated field, how do you not have a boyfriend yet?!?" Sometimes I want to remind people that finding a boyfriend isn't just a matter of finding a single guy, it's a matter of actually wanting to be in a relationship (which I don't). But everyone wants to be in relationship of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
selina Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 My grandpa recently told me to bring a boyfriend to his birthday and I was just like 'Yeah that will never happen' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PerformativeSurprise Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 50 minutes ago, deltaX said: I get this from the other direction: "You're a smart girl in a male-dominated field, how do you not have a boyfriend yet?!?" Sometimes I want to remind people that finding a boyfriend isn't just a matter of finding a single guy, it's a matter of actually wanting to be in a relationship (which I don't). Those kind of comments are always frustrating. But at least they assumed you'd have a boyfriend due to your intellect; what frustrates me even more is when people say, "you're so pretty, you must have a boyfriend!" Whenever I get that one, I just try not to respond with this face: . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deltaX Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 1 hour ago, PerformativeSurprise said: Those kind of comments are always frustrating. But at least they assumed you'd have a boyfriend due to your intellect; what frustrates me even more is when people say, "you're so pretty, you must have a boyfriend!" Whenever I get that one, I just try not to respond with this face: . Luckily I'm not conventionally "pretty", so I don't get comments about how my looks will get me a boyfriend. I am really short though (4'11), and people like to tell me that my height will make it easy for me to find a boyfriend because the short guys won't be intimidated by me. It seems dumb to me; even if I were looking for a boyfriend, I don't want my height to be what gets me one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PerformativeSurprise Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 28 minutes ago, deltaX said: Luckily I'm not conventionally "pretty", so I don't get comments about how my looks will get me a boyfriend. I am really short though (4'11), and people like to tell me that my height will make it easy for me to find a boyfriend because the short guys won't be intimidated by me. It seems dumb to me; even if I were looking for a boyfriend, I don't want my height to be what gets me one. I get this one too! (And I happen to be the same height as you ) I agree--it seems really dumb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyFenton123 Posted April 5, 2016 Author Share Posted April 5, 2016 1 hour ago, deltaX said: Luckily I'm not conventionally "pretty", so I don't get comments about how my looks will get me a boyfriend. I am really short though (4'11), and people like to tell me that my height will make it easy for me to find a boyfriend because the short guys won't be intimidated by me. It seems dumb to me; even if I were looking for a boyfriend, I don't want my height to be what gets me one. It seems if you have any sort of defining feature people are going to say it'll make finding a boyfriend easier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ad-ARO-ble Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 I have the convenience of having several older siblings, 2 or 3 of which have never really brought anyone home. And with like, 3 weddings under planning, my parents are not disappointed. Also, since I'm going into computer science, I'd surprise people if I somehow got a girlfriend even if I wanted one. Sometimes, the lonely loser stereotype can work to my advantage :). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rising Sun Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 I'm from a traditionalist family, so I hear about marriage all the time. Preferably with a rich husband. It's annoying. My answer is often cynical jokes about marriages that turned wrong, couples who argue and fight all the time, who cheat on each other, who make each other's life a nightmare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deltaX Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 3 hours ago, ad-ARO-ble said: I have the convenience of having several older siblings, 2 or 3 of which have never really brought anyone home. And with like, 3 weddings under planning, my parents are not disappointed. Also, since I'm going into computer science, I'd surprise people if I somehow got a girlfriend even if I wanted one. Sometimes, the lonely loser stereotype can work to my advantage :). *high five from another aro comp sci major* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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