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CloudlegtheVolcano

Sad as an Aro Sometimes?

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I’m fine with being aro. I’ll be perfectly content when I’m older to live on my own with two dogs.

 

Picturing myself in a relationship is weird to me, even a QPR. But at the same time, sometimes I feel sad about being aro. When I see or hear about someone doing something really sweet for their SO, or even hear someone say their spouse makes them laugh, I can’t help but feel a pang. I think about how I’ll never have that. 

 

I don’t believe that everyone needs a significant other to be happy, but still this thought crosses my mind sometimes.

 

Can anyone else relate?

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I can't personally relate, sorry, but that might be because I cover any potential sadness with general anger at amatonormativity and sometimes at romantic love in general (even though there's nothing wrong with romantic love in itself).

I have been stalking the community for a while though, and that does seem to be at least somewhat common.

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10 hours ago, CloudlegtheVolcano said:

I don’t believe that everyone needs a significant other to be happy, but still this thought crosses my mind sometimes.

 

Can anyone else relate?

Yes.
I do stop and wonder sometimes what it feels like to be in love or to feel emotional very close to someone (romantic love isn't required for this, I know).
The thought of being a high priority in someone's life sometimes appeals to me (but not being no. 1 - that's too unsettling).

What makes me sad about being aro is the piercing feeling of giving the most you can for a friendship but (in worst case) the other person throws you away anyway.
We can argue if that was a friend in the first place but it's something I'm currently still struggling with.
I lost a person I considered one of my closest friends over a year ago. I tried to talk about the issues we faced in our friendship but he didn't want to solve them.
He broke the contact and I did not hear of him again since then. I still think about him and only feel sadness and huge disappointment.
I knew him for years, we went through tough times together. It makes me ask this stupid question I often found myself asking when a "friend" turned me down:
"What did I even mean to you?"
Being aro doesn't automatically mean one is emotionally more invovled when it comes to friendships but for me it's the case.
I also often feel anger because of amatonormativity.
This friend and a second one, both got into romantic relationships over time and especially for the second friend I faded into the background.
It's the main reason I try not to be sad about them being gone because they clearly didn't deserve me or my friendship. But still, it sucks.

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