How my Aromanticsm affected my relationships

[Lovely]

I’m really bored and I thought it was interesting to tell you my journey on how I discovered im somewhat Aromantic or just Greyromantic.

 

i had 4 relationships my whole life, and 3 of them were my fault. I was romantically distant.

 

First, I dated my bestfriend but then we lost the contact, I’m pretty sure she wasn’t feeling it because she tried to breakup with me multiple times.

 

My second relationship was really weird because I wanted an intimate bond and friendship but the girl was pretty quiet. Also, it was hard for me to keep a conversation flowing. I’m pretty sure she broke up with me because of my lack of romance and lack of having anything good to talk about.

 

and lastly, my last relationship, the one I’m still trying to get over lol. It was amazing, until I noticed small touches of romance made me somewhat uncomfortable. They were extremely clingy and I felt suffocated, I even told them once that I need my space and they got upset. A few months past by and they asked for another partner to  fill their sexual and romantic needs . (Im allosexual but have a VERY low libido) and I got upset and decided to just end it. We got back together and made some terms, I’d be more romantic and they’d be more accepting. I didn’t at all become more romantic, holding hands made me so uncomfortable and that was the only thing I agreed on. Kissing made me very uncomfortable as well and I wanted to stop. So, they recently broke up with me because they’re very clingy and I’m very not.

 

eventhough, I don’t feel romance , and if so it’s very rare, I enjoyed them a lot and this one is the hardest to get over . We had a good bond and I value that a relationship. It was like a queer platonic relationship, although we had no idea of what that was lol.