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Sometimes I just want to mount a public awareness campaign about amatonormativity

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I can help with that. Actually, just a couple hours ago in my public speaking class I made a persuasive speech about why amatonormativity as a claim about how everyone should live is invalid. My teacher and multiple classmates told me I did really well so I think I'm going to try to start making more speeches about that in more public settings.

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On 10/30/2018 at 9:22 PM, DavidMS703 said:

I can help with that. Actually, just a couple hours ago in my public speaking class I made a persuasive speech about why amatonormativity as a claim about how everyone should live is invalid. My teacher and multiple classmates told me I did really well so I think I'm going to try to start making more speeches about that in more public settings.

Cool! Maybe give us others some key phrases for tips? :)

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The largest focus of that speech was on the studies that claim to prove being in a romantic relationship or getting married makes you happier. I pointed out that they were conducted in society rather than a controlled lab setting and compared it to doing a study of the relationship between height and happiness done in an apartment building where all the doorways have a low clearance of around 5'7" and finding that shorter people are happier without considering that maybe bumping their heads frequently is what's making taller people less happy rather than not being shorter. I also talked about how most other ways the argument that you should get married is made depend on logical fallacies and about the prevalence of amatonormativity.

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53 minutes ago, DavidMS703 said:

the studies that claim to prove being in a romantic relationship or getting married makes you happier

Does breaking up or getting divorced also make you happier? :P (I mean, it's not as if those aren't common outcomes of romantic relationships - so these are maybe not the most reliable path to stable, long-term happiness!). Also, what makes the average person happy has no bearing on what would (or worse 'ought') to make an individual happy. Most people aren't aromantic. It wouldn't surprise me if the average allo-romantic person was measurably happier in a romantic relationship than not in one. But, for aromantics, the opposite wouldn't surprise me! So, the studies, even if methodologically and empirically valid, would be irrelevant for aromantics.

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Another problem with many of the studies is that they only counted the people who stayed married as married, though some looked at if people had ever been married but that still doesn't account for society and the fact that what is best for one person may not be the same as for another so that if most people did what would make them happier but those who did one thing were rewarded for it and those who did the other were treated like there was something wrong with their lifestyle, that could produce different outcomes for the two groups not caused directly by relationship/marital status.

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19 minutes ago, NullVector said:

Also, what makes the average person happy has no bearing on what would (or worse 'ought') to make an individual happy. Most people aren't aromantic. It wouldn't surprise me if the average allo-romantic person was measurably happier in a romantic relationship than not in one. But, for aromantics, the opposite wouldn't surprise me! So, the studies, even if methodologically and empirically valid, would be irrelevant for aromantics. 

B|

Yes, it's that simple.

 

 

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13 hours ago, DavidMS703 said:

The largest focus of that speech was on the studies that claim to prove being in a romantic relationship or getting married makes you happier.

Here is what a researcher has to say about this.

 

13 hours ago, NullVector said:

Does breaking up or getting divorced also make you happier? :P (I mean, it's not as if those aren't common outcomes of romantic relationships - so these are maybe not the most reliable path to stable, long-term happiness!). 

A common flaw in methodology is to mix divorced and widowed people with never married people.
 

13 hours ago, NullVector said:

 Also, what makes the average person happy has no bearing on what would (or worse 'ought') to make an individual happy. Most people aren't aromantic. It wouldn't surprise me if the average allo-romantic person was measurably happier in a romantic relationship than not in one. But, for aromantics, the opposite wouldn't surprise me! So, the studies, even if methodologically and empirically valid, would be irrelevant for aromantics.

There's a stereotype of single people single mindedly wanting to be coupled. I recall some research showing that this only applied to something like 18% with the majority being happily single. So maybe romantic relationships don't make a significent proportion of of alloromantics happy. The usual assumption when a romantic relationship breaks up is that it was with the "wrong person' rather than being the 'wrong thing'. The possibility that even some alloromantics might find non-romantic relationships better than romantic relationships is unlikely to even be considered.

 



 

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