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Can you be aromantic and like romantic books etc.?

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I  think I'm aromantic and I fit most of the common descriptions, but there are some things where I'm totally different from most aro people. I really like romatic passages in books and love poems as I think they can give me an insight into other peoples heads and can explain why they behave as they do.

 

Another thing is that I can understand most people which fall in love. I just don't think "Oh, thats cute!" but "Oh, over there are some people whose hormones go crazy", which also doesn't seem to be the case with most aros.

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I love romance books. But in truth, I really get wrapped up in the stories that are heavy on the courtship, the wooing and infatuation part. And of course, the sexy times. Haha. Once a story moves toward happily ever after and family building, I completely lose interest. And if I really think about it, I like the stories where the characters fall for each other due to some bigger external force that they can't resist. Extenuating circumstances or some all-powerful "fate". That don't follow the "real life" pattern of relationship building. The traditional boy-meets-girl vanilla romance holds no appeal. 

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You can totally still be aromantic and like those things. Aromanticism is only defined by what you yourself feel for other people, not what kinds of books and movies you like or what you do or don't understand about other people.

 

I personally don't mind if romance is involved in media that has an actual story I'm interested in, though I don't especially like extended kissing scenes but I'll watch through them to get to more stuff I'm interested in. I actually really like the show "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend," partly because it's a funny story about the worst of the types of drama I basically get to just bypass without experiencing them myself, kind of like the time when I was on a bus that got to bypass a big traffic jam by using a bus lane, and I enjoyed seeing people just sitting still in their cars as the bus went by them.

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11 hours ago, DavidMS703 said:

I actually really like the show "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend," partly because it's a funny story about the worst of the types of drama I basically get to just bypass without experiencing them myself, kind of like the time when I was on a bus that got to bypass a big traffic jam by using a bus lane, and I enjoyed seeing people just sitting still in their cars as the bus went by them.

 

Exactly that! Both that "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" is a really funny show, and that it's enjoyable to be entertained by concepts that don't affect your own personal life. I mean, no matter where on the aro spectrum you are, we are all surrounded by enough romance and amatonormativity to basically "get" the concepts. To know the words for what define a romantic relationship, see what people do and go through in the name of finding "the one". Even if we don't necessarily FEEL those urges ourselves, we see it enough to get the gist. So media (books/TV/movies/whatever) that use those scenarios and make them entertaining, can still appeal to people that don't feel the emotions but still understand and live within a world where the concepts exist. 

 

Sidenote: @DavidMS703, if you haven't already checked it out, I would also recommend Superstore as a good show. It's on Hulu. Same type of comedy, and touches on the different types of sexual-through-romantic relationships that exist in a group of people. 

 

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I have an additional question.

Can you be aromantic and still write romance? I may have been exaggerating my feelings, but the root of them was there... 

I don't know if I just have an active imagination or if I'm not aro or IDK

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On 8/26/2018 at 10:49 PM, AroAce said:

I have an additional question.

Can you be aromantic and still write romance? I may have been exaggerating my feelings, but the root of them was there... 

I don't know if I just have an active imagination or if I'm not aro or IDK

 

I understand the feeling because I could write or make up a romantic story but I know that I wouldn't be writing from my own experiences, but from what I've seen and what I've read because I read and watch a lot of romantic stuff. I don't know if that makes my stories less believable or realistic but there are common threads in romance that I've picked up on. It still doesn't make me feel any less aro. And to add to the original topic yes, I adore romance when it's fictional but when it's real it makes my skin crawl.

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