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Naegleria fowleri

Anyone want to help me make a website?

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So I have this idea for a website called, "I'm Questioning". It would serve as a resource for anyone questioning their gender or their romantic or sexual orientations. Sort of like a guided data bank with information about the split-attraction model, the many genders, fluctuating identities, etc. It would include places for people to add their life experiences to give context to labeling terms.

 

My experience with websites so far has been minimal (I made a website once with Weebly at a summer camp). I'm sure I could figure it out, but I believe some teamwork would better the website. I would also appreciate it if you guys could add some of your various experiences, if this website ever makes it out.

 

Anyway, give this a like if you're passionate about creating a resource like this, regardless of tech experience, and we'll figure this out.

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If you expect just a minor-traffic website with straight forward content then you can settle for just about any self-managed web host for as little as a few dollars/pounds a month. Many provide built-in packages to auto install and configure webware (what I call scripted software for sites), with a user-friendly back-end website management portal like Cpanel for 'free'. If you expect to expand however and need more control over the 'engines' then a Virtual Private Server is an option although maybe more expensive. VPS gives you an OS instance to control, install your own web server software and such, all running parallel with some other isolated customers on the same machine. If you expect to grow more or wish to have full control of said computer,  then there're dedicated servers which are the most expensive but gives you more resources, rights, value for money as well as flexibility. However the latter requires one to be more tech-savvy in securing, configuring, etc although managed solutions exist. Then there's cloud hosting but you may not need to do anything for that at least any time soon....it can be like the basic web-hosting deals but they use multiple servers in multiple data-centres to provide redundancy and reduce latency by hosting cached content closer to visitors.

 

I have experience most in dedicated servers and basic web-hosting. I have a dedicated server and have more than enough room for another low-to-mid range website or two. The biggest issue is the lack of usage for something that's quite costly, but one can run just about anything else (like game servers) as long as it's legal and not against the hosting company's ToS.

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Cool idea!

 

I have a lot of experience with making sites, Wordpress in particular, so if you are interested in using that, I could probably help with some stuff, when I have time.

 

Or would a wiki make more sense maybe?

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I have some experience in web design and development (my tools of choice are hard code or Wix) and I'm always happy to help!

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Alright, it's in progress! I'm building one on Wix (this platform was rated the best) and am slowly inputting all the definitions under the different headings. The list of romantic orientations on this site has been a huge resource for me. Is anyone aware of orientations that aren't on that list? Don't worry I'm citing my sources.

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Finished! The site is split up into sections (aromantic spectrum, asexual spectrum, genders, etc) so it is easy to navigate. I would greatly appreciate it if you all could look it over and post comments about what your orientations feel like to you, personally. The purpose of this website is to give context to those wordsy definitions, so the more comments the better. I'm especially interested in hearing from anyone whose orientation does not get a lot of publicity (fluctuating identities, non-binary genders, varioriented attractions, etc)

 

Here is the link: https://resourcery.wixsite.com/imquestioning . I posted under the asexual umbrella and the aromantic spectrum as samples. Thank you guys!

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On 5/24/2018 at 2:55 PM, Naegleria fowleri said:

Alright, it's in progress! I'm building one on Wix (this platform was rated the best) and am slowly inputting all the definitions under the different headings. The list of romantic orientations on this site has been a huge resource for me. Is anyone aware of orientations that aren't on that list? Don't worry I'm citing my sources.

 

I find the list on this forum pretty outdated and somewhat inaccurate, tbh. This list is not completely up to date, but it's more complete and accurate in general.

 

New labels are always popping up, so it's hard to get everything from a single source. But I don't think you need to worry much about getting the latest labels, at least for now. Just know there will never be a complete list. ^^

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16 hours ago, Naegleria fowleri said:

Finished!

First thought: Oooh, pretty colours!

 

Looks really good, I like how you've organized it, and I think this would be a really good resource to point people to as a good place to start. I'm bookmarking it :)

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@Powder Thank you, I did notice part way through making the site that I was ending up with a very long list of definitions, which might do more harm than good for someone who is questioning. There are enough so called comprehensive lists out there that I decided that wasn't what I was going to try to accomplish. So instead I gave an introductory explanation to each topic, then chose enough definitions to represent almost everybody without heavy overlap. That being said, if anyone were to explain to me why I should include a certain orientation, I would certainly be open to it. I did include nonvirmina as one of the genders after you introduced us to it. I know it's difficult to try to sum up an orientation in a comment on a random website, but I would appreciate the effort, that is, if you're comfortable with it. Same goes for anyone else.

 

What I'd like to create is a place where people of many orientations can have the same "A-ha" moment that I had when I came here. You know, things finally clicking into place. But I need help to make that happen.

 

@SoulWolf Thanks for taking a look!

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As someone who has a similar site, I completely understand that you want people to have the best experience possible, and that you are trying to do your best to have something useful up as soon as possible.

 

However, I'm not sure if the site as it is is the best model for what you want. For instance, Queer Undefined has a comment-based system, but you also need to search specifically for what you want.

 

Pride-Flags' gender, gender-related and sex-related list (A to K / L to Z) has tags, which helps if people are searching for specific things, such as fluid genders or unknown genders.

LGBTQIAP+ Dictionary has lists of related terms. And Tumblr blogs such as Uncommon Genders directly answer questions such as "I'm x and y, is there any label that fits me?"

 

Splitting LGBTQIAPN+ identities into 6 sections (not even separating fluid orientations from fluid genders or different kinds of gender-based attraction), without any kind of tagging system, and expecting people from any group to just post about their experiences doesn't seem like a good long term idea. By the time the site has enough comments for people to go through and get a grasp of several different identities, those comments will be hard to sort through without the right keywords.

 

I think it's also pretty important to have more catch-all terms, for people to fall back on if they at least know something about their identity, but not all of it.

 

For the gender-based attraction page (the one labeled as allo, and I'm not sure that would be a good word for people who are just starting out and may know they are, say, a-spec and trying to find out if they "still can" be pan or gay or something), I would recommend having:

 

Sapphic/wlw: A woman who is attracted to women, exclusively or not;

Trixic/Orbisian/nblw: A nonbinary person who is attracted to women, exclusively or not;

Duaric/wlm or mlw: A woman who is attracted to men or a man who is attracted to women, exclusively or not;

Achillean/mlm: A man who is attracted to men, exclusively or not;

Toric/Quadrisian/nblm: A nonbinary person who is attracted to men, exclusively or not;

Enbian/nblnb: A nonbinary person who is attracted to nonbinary people, exclusively or not;

Asterian/wlnb: A woman who is attracted to nonbinary people, exclusively or not;

Astroidian/mlnb: A man who is attracted to nonbinary people, exclusively or not.

 

Comsexual/comromantic are also good terms to have, and I'm not sure if I've seen pomo anywhere, or if you even have a place for it since it's not necessarily a-spec nor gender-based, nor fluid nor static.

 

For the gender page, I would recommend removing third gender (people who can use the term probably already know it exists), and adding transneutral, ningender, fingender, mingender, neurogender, gender neutral and stargender.

 

Although I think the biggest problem may be that, the more I read, the more I found inaccurate, outdated, and unnecessary additions of both terms and descriptions.

 

I recommend you either spend more time within more inclusive LGBTQIAPN+ spaces, especially within specific communities. Using the 90's definition of intergender has been frowned upon for years, since an intersex person has independently coined intergender as a gender identity affected by being intersex. Demigender people are not necessarily bigender, and may have two binary genders. Bi people can be attracted to more than two genders and most bi communities stand by that, sapio is usually considered ableist, that pangender definition is considered offensive and outdated, neu (attracted to genderless people) and neuro (neurodivergence affects your attraction) are two different things, it's quoisexual and not quoirosexual, and so on.

 

Sorry for being harsh, but if you are new to the community, or are not used to the definitions used outside of ace/aro spaces, you need to research more before making a help website for the community as a whole.

 

If you want to, I'm happy to help with counseling and stuff -  I have a lot of experience in this area - but yeah... making such a website is not an easy task.

 

(btw sorry for anyone that saw this earlier, I did some strange shortcut that sent my message in the middle of writing it)

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On 7/14/2018 at 8:03 AM, Naegleria fowleri said:

Here is the link: https://resourcery.wixsite.com/imquestioning . I posted under the asexual umbrella and the aromantic spectrum as samples

The colours are so pretty 🙂

But did anyone else experience the displacement of the aro flag and hiding parts of the descriptions? It may just be a fluke on my phone

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I checked out the aro page on my phone, and nothing seemed displaced, although the mobile site editor on wix was kind of weird for me and I wouldn't be surprised if the site does strange things on certain devices. I'll look into it.

 

@Powder I like your idea of adding more catch-all terms. I also like your suggestions for additional genders. I will look into replacing the title of "allo attractions" with "gender-based attractions" as that seems like a way more positive term. I agree that intergender should be removed or modified.

 

Something I noticed while doing my internet research is that pleasing everybody would be impossible. I ran into, for example, posts claiming quoiromantic and quoisexual were just labeling internalized homophobia, and while I understand how that could be interpreted, there are people who really are quoiromantic and/or quoisexual and would benefit from knowing there are others like them. Or take autigender. There are autistic people firmly against the term and others who strongly support it. With things like this, there are so many opinions, endless ways of defining things, much of it governed by feelings and subjectivity... Anyway, I apologize if I've offended anybody, and I have done and will continue to do my best to be respectful. I'm content with some thinking I've done a shitty job of it though :/ . No hard feelings?

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54 minutes ago, Naegleria fowleri said:

I checked out the aro page on my phone, and nothing seemed displaced, although the mobile site editor on wix was kind of weird for me and I wouldn't be surprised if the site does strange things on certain devices. I'll look into it.

 

@Powder I like your idea of adding more catch-all terms. I also like your suggestions for additional genders. I will look into replacing the title of "allo attractions" with "gender-based attractions" as that seems like a way more positive term. I agree that intergender should be removed or modified.

 

Something I noticed while doing my internet research is that pleasing everybody would be impossible. I ran into, for example, posts claiming quoiromantic and quoisexual were just labeling internalized homophobia, and while I understand how that could be interpreted, there are people who really are quoiromantic and/or quoisexual and would benefit from knowing there are others like them. Or take autigender. There are autistic people firmly against the term and others who strongly support it. With things like this, there are so many opinions, endless ways of defining things, much of it governed by feelings and subjectivity... Anyway, I apologize if I've offended anybody, and I have done and will continue to do my best to be respectful. I'm content with some thinking I've done a shitty job of it though :/ . No hard feelings?

 

I totally get there's no pleasing everyone. Especially since there are people looking for excuses to criticize identities they don't like.

 

I don't think defending sapio (when there's noeti) or third gender (when there are dozens of ways to describe genders different than man/woman that aren't rooted in colonialism) is really worth the trouble. However, I understand if you think otherwise. 🤷‍♂️

 

I still disagree with keeping outdated or wrong definitions just because some people use them, though.

 

For instance, the bi community has fought for years to be recognized as people who are able to be attracted to more than one gender in general. Here are some links about it:

http://bi-trans-alliance.tumblr.com/post/168245689478/i-see-a-lot-of-posts-saying-bisexuality-has-only

https://bisexual-dragons.tumblr.com/post/149467250631/dictionarycom-has-included-a-more-inclusive

http://bialogue-group.tumblr.com/post/41072060103/what-is-bisexuality

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Ah, you've swayed me. I wonder why the real definition is so unpopular outside of the bi community. I don't believe I've ever heard of bisexuality being an attraction to more than 1 gender, not before our conversation. I would have thought it'd come up, even just hanging out with the Pride group at school.

 

I like how noeti is more inclusive than sapio, but since you've got me thinking about it, can both not just be boiled down to "having a type"? Sort of like how some people argue that androsexual and gynesexual are just "poly with a type"? I'm contemplating getting rid of sapio and not replacing it, to ease confusion.

 

You mentioned earlier about doing more research before making a help website. I'm thinking perhaps the problem wasn't the amount of research, but the sites I chose. I used a mixture of news articles, tumblr pages, wikis, aven forums, and other sites for a total of 34 sources (not including pride flags and gender symbols; they're all listed on the additional resources page of my website). Are there any more accurate resources you could recommend?

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On 7/15/2018 at 8:10 AM, Naegleria fowleri said:

I did notice part way through making the site that I was ending up with a very long list of definitions, which might do more harm than good for someone who is questioning. There are enough so called comprehensive lists out there that I decided that wasn't what I was going to try to accomplish. So instead I gave an introductory explanation to each topic, then chose enough definitions to represent almost everybody without heavy overlap. 

Just put a comment on your asexual page for my own situation, but I tried showing that it is sort of covered by other terms and it's basic opposite (I really believe that what you define yourself as is equally balanced between what you are and what you certainly are not). That was the biggest problem when I was looking into my own labels, I found many definitions but little context in some of the labels I was interested in so the idea of comments from actual people that identify that way is great

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@Naegleria fowleri you could, but it is sort of covered in more general terms. I sort of see Apressexual as the little cousin of WTFsexual ~ you can identify the attractions eventually but they are still pretty much inseparable and possibly still confusing. Maybe make it a footnote to another term?

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