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OpenAce

Liking proximity without touch

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So about 4mths ago I posted this: 

Anyway, long story short- still touch averse. But recently I've been finding that having close proximity to squishes/my 'safe people' is really nice, and yeah, idk how to describe it. Kinda just like, more relaxed, and comfortable- and when I'm not around them I find myself craving it. Recently I've been finding that I want that safe feeling in some form of touch (hugging) but I'm still touch averse, and when I actually imagine myself doing it with a specific person I'm almost repulsed and left feeling empty and lonely.

Does anyone else experience this? sensual desire not tied to a specific person and still completely non-romo and non-sexual?

 

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I don't experience this specifically but it makes a lot of sense to me.  I'm sure you aren't the only aro who feels this way.  Closeness to people you trust is compelling.

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I totally get what you're saying. I'm also touch adverse but hugs with squishes if I'm in an okay space or just being physically close is comforting. Glad to know I'm not the only one who gets that feeling.

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On ‎4‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 12:50 PM, OpenAce said:

Does anyone else experience this? sensual desire not tied to a specific person and still completely non-romo and non-sexual?

 

Yep. I totally relate. It's sad to hear that you're still touch averse however I can't really offer any advice as to how to help your situation. sorry :(

Hugging friends has helped me over the years but, and maybe this has only happened to me, but the more I've tackled my touch aversion (more passively over the last few years but recently more actively) the more I've realised just how touch starved I am. Which as you can imagine hasn't really helped my relationship to touch or made people touching me feel less weird.

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Thankyou all for your responses- its comforting to know I'm not the only one...

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I think you could look into the asensual spectrum for this. There's sadly not much of an asensual community, though...

 

What you describe seems somewhat similar to aegosensuality, volitsensuality and/or acorsensuality.

 

Regardless of labels, though, desire is a complicated thing. It's possible to want/crave things in vague and nebulous ways, while not being able to actually engage with them. 

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13 hours ago, Powder said:

I think you could look into the asensual spectrum for this. There's sadly not much of an asensual community, though...

 

What you describe seems somewhat similar to aegosensuality, volitsensuality and/or acorsensuality.

 

Regardless of labels, though, desire is a complicated thing. It's possible to want/crave things in vague and nebulous ways, while not being able to actually engage with them. 

Thankyou so much, I feel atm like i fit somewhere between aegosensuality and acorsensuality. Having a name, even for just myself to know, really helps me.

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