You might be aro if...

[jenny_any_dots]

YMBAI you started identifying as ace and then were like how do all these ace people have relationships?... and then read this post about ways YMBA and found a lot of things that you identify with

 

just me? haha

[Confirmed Bachelor]

On 6/1/2017 at 6:19 AM, Raptor said:

YMBAI you just don't understand why it is so great to wear other person's hoodie. It propably has that other person's sweat in it! Yick!

 

This is a thing?

6 hours ago, jenny_any_dots said:

YMBAI you started identifying as ace and then were like how do all these ace people have relationships?... and then read this post about ways YMBA and found a lot of things that you identify with

 

just me? haha

 

I still wonder why asexuals obsess over relationships. And they seem to do it more than other people. 

[One-Eyed Jack]

1 hour ago, Just like Jughead said:

I still wonder why asexuals obsess over relationships. And they seem to do it more than other people. 

 

Most asexuals are romantic (and tend to have the standard romantic person's misconceptions about being aromantic). That's one reason Arocalypse is a necessity and not just a fun and frivolous thing (although fun and frivolous within the context of a serious purpose are also good).

[Raptor]

On 25.2.2017 at 8:13 PM, Salt said:

Here's for all the artists and writers.

 

YMBAI you try to avoid drawing or writing romance, but when you have to you get uncomfortable. Once you manage to finish it, you're automatically dissapointed and self-concious about it because you don't know how to portray the romance.

Heh, maybe this is why everytime I write, if there is any couples, they are adults and have been married at least few years, or in other case the second one in relationship dies

[NullVector]

6 hours ago, Just like Jughead said:

I still wonder why asexuals obsess over relationships. And they seem to do it more than other people. 

 

Assuming that's true (I don't really interact with any romantic aces myself... well, they mostly aren't on arocalypse ) it could be because the majority of people experience both romantic and sexual attraction and therefore would tend to conflate the two. It might be difficult for them to imagine that somebody could experience romantic attraction without also experienceing sexual attraction. This may lead romantic aces to go out of their way to emphasise that they do indeed experience romantic attraction - just not sexual attraction. But there may be other reasons for it as well. 

[Mark]

6 hours ago, Just like Jughead said:

I still wonder why asexuals obsess over relationships. And they seem to do it more than other people. 

The vast majority of them are alloromantic. They desire a romantic relationship as much as those who are alloromantic and allosexual.
A romantic relationship without sex is quite possible in many societies. Especially those with pre marital sex taboos.

Whereas relationships without romance tend to be rejected out of hand by most alloromantic people. Many non sexual activities are as romantically coded as sex. Thus even aro aces can struggle with things.
Even to the point of the word "relationship" often being considered as a synonym for "romantic relationship".
 

16 minutes ago, NullVector said:

 it could be because the majority of people experience both romantic and sexual attraction and therefore would tend to conflate the two. It might be difficult for them to imagine that somebody could experience romantic attraction without also experienceing sexual attraction. This may lead romantic aces to go out of their way to emphasise that they do indeed experience romantic attraction - just not sexual attraction. But there may be other reasons for it as well. 

I wonder if even for many alloromantic allosexuals romantic attraction is what matters most.

 

[One-Eyed Jack]

22 minutes ago, Mark said:

I wonder if even for many alloromantic allosexuals romantic attraction is what matters most.

 

 

On the other hand, many AVEN members have complained that, supposedly, allos care only about sex, not romance.

[Confirmed Bachelor]

4 hours ago, Mark said:

The vast majority of them are alloromantic. They desire a romantic relationship as much as those who are alloromantic and allosexual.
A romantic relationship without sex is quite possible in many societies. Especially those with pre marital sex taboos.

Whereas relationships without romance tend to be rejected out of hand by most alloromantic people. Many non sexual activities are as romantically coded as sex. Thus even aro aces can struggle with things.
Even to the point of the word "relationship" often being considered as a synonym for "romantic relationship".
 

I wonder if even for many alloromantic allosexuals romantic attraction is what matters most.

 

 

I have many friends who are not asexual and none of them talk about a desire for romance. They emphasize sex as the reason they want to be with their partner. So there's that. 

[Mark]

2 hours ago, Just like Jughead said:

 

I have many friends who are not asexual and none of them talk about a desire for romance. They emphasize sex as the reason they want to be with their partner. So there's that. 

How many of them have you observed in non romantic sexual relationships?
My experience is that when allo allos say "sex" they mean "romo-sex". (Which is often also the case with aro aces).

IMHO were allo allos primarily interested in sex it would be a lot easier being aro allo.
 

[Confirmed Bachelor]

16 hours ago, Mark said:

How many of them have you observed in non romantic sexual relationships?
My experience is that when allo allos say "sex" they mean "romo-sex". (Which is often also the case with aro aces).

IMHO were allo allos primarily interested in sex it would be a lot easier being aro allo.
 

 

Whatever

[SamwiseLovesLife]

YMBAI you never planned/fantacised about your wedding as a kid

 

... I was busy playing with dinosaurs..

[James White]

YMBAI you have an unhealthy fascination with pistachio ice cream with vanilla swirl and chocolate syrup. 

[aro_elise]

On ‎2016‎-‎04‎-‎07 at 11:46 PM, PhysicsOwl said:

No problem

 

YMBAI you started dating someone who you should be really good with on paper and you genuinely like, but once you're in the relationship, you feel uncomfortable or trapped.

well said!  when I started dating my friend, I thought I just had to get used to it--my first relationship--but in 8 months I never did.  I always stress that he's a great, attractive guy, we were and still are good friends, and it "not working out" had nothing to do with him, but people have a hard time understanding why you'd want a non-romantic relationship with such a person.  of course, I can't understand why anyone would want a romantic relationship with anyone.

On ‎2017‎-‎06‎-‎06 at 3:29 AM, SamwiseLovesLife said:

YMBAI you never planned/fantacised about your wedding as a kid

I did but I never thought about my future husband.  it was all about the party, honeymoon destination, and most of all (as a fashion design student) the dress.  those parts sound great!

[Untamed Heart]

YMBAI: you listen to the song It's Raining Men and just start pondering the logistics of building an umbrella that would withstand someone landing on it from a great height, and wondering what would happen to all the bodies after the 'shower' was over? How would these men even survive falling out of the sky? So many questions...

[SoulWolf]

6 minutes ago, Untamed Heart said:

YMBAI: you listen to the song It's Raining Men and just start pondering the logistics of building an umbrella that would withstand someone landing on it from a great height, and wondering what would happen to all the bodies after the 'shower' was over? How would these men even survive falling out of the sky? So many questions...

lol, yeah. I always thought that was a really weird song... why were they so happy about people literally falling from the sky? Sounds like some kind of natural disaster, and a good reason to stay indoors (preferably underground).

[The Non-Month May]

You might be aromantic if you try and 'date' someone, but treat them just like you would a friend. Then, you get confused and break up with them, happy that you're friends again. -.-

[hippiecat]

On 6/4/2017 at 0:55 PM, jenny_any_dots said:

YMBAI you started identifying as ace and then were like how do all these ace people have relationships?... and then read this post about ways YMBA and found a lot of things that you identify with

 

just me? haha

 

not just you, definitely relate 

 

YMBAI you see a post on tumblr that says "imagine how great it would be if your favorite person was laying in bed next to you right now giving you soft kisses" and your reaction is AAAAHHH GROSS 

[aro_elise]

On ‎2017‎-‎07‎-‎19 at 3:28 PM, The Non-Month May said:

You might be aromantic if you try and 'date' someone, but treat them just like you would a friend. Then, you get confused and break up with them, happy that you're friends again. -.-

yesss I thought I just had to get used to the romantic aspects of the relationship but after 6 months I never did, by which point i'd decided to identify as aro, so I told my bf and we tried to be fwb but it just wasn't working so 2 months later we broke up and I was relieved.  looking back on that time, it was one of the worst of my life, but I learned something and I don't begrudge my ex/friend at all, he was and is wonderful.

[SamwiseLovesLife]

On 04/06/2017 at 6:30 PM, One-Eyed Jack said:

 

Most asexuals are romantic (and tend to have the standard romantic person's misconceptions about being aromantic). That's one reason Arocalypse is a necessity and not just a fun and frivolous thing (although fun and frivolous within the context of a serious purpose are also good).

I always kinda felt like Aven was (by majority, not 100%) a whole lot of young-ish people who aren't sexually inclined but want somewhere to obsess over relationships/love/general-teen-angst in a non-sexual setting. Which is fine of course, but not really what I'm looking for in a social forum. All the romo crap bores the hell out of me

Also+ I like how synical Arocalypse is

[Momo]

12 minutes ago, SamwiseLovesLife said:

Also+ I like how synical Arocalypse is

Cynical? Me? Never...

[[Deleted Account]]

YMBAI you never understood why everyone in school was always dating someone and didn't care to keep track of which of your friends were dating who.

[ApeironStella]

YMBAI you always ended up making jokes about being "wife/husband" with your closest friends and you were always so close that you always ended up questioning if that it was 'something else' because society says if it is that close, it MUST BE 'stepping into romance zone' but anytime you try it, it just gets really awkward and off so you revert back to BFF status. 

 

EDIT:

On 19.07.2017 at 10:28 PM, The Non-Month May said:

You might be aromantic if you try and 'date' someone, but treat them just like you would a friend. Then, you get confused and break up with them, happy that you're friends again. -.-

Oh gosh this so much. I had a friend I really respected and liked and would just love to hug her brain because she was WONDERFUL, but??? Since I obsessed so much over her, I tried to date with her but it then all felt weird. I just ended up 'treating her as a friend' as you say. We kinda never exactly break up verbally but it was obvious that we didn't work out that way and there were other reasons we don't talk much now but I would LOVE to brainstorm with her again. 10/10 would love to be BFFs and/or sibling-ish friends with her again.

[The Non-Month May]

1 hour ago, ApeironStella said:

YMBAI you always ended up making jokes about being "wife/husband" with your closest friends and you were always so close that you always ended up questioning if that it was 'something else' because society says if it is that close, it MUST BE 'stepping into romance zone' but anytime you try it, it just gets really awkward and off so you revert back to BFF status. 

 

EDIT:

Oh gosh this so much. I had a friend I really respected and liked and would just love to hug her brain because she was WONDERFUL, but??? Since I obsessed so much over her, I tried to date with her but it then all felt weird. I just ended up 'treating her as a friend' as you say. We kinda never exactly break up verbally but it was obvious that we didn't work out that way and there were other reasons we don't talk much now but I would LOVE to brainstorm with her again. 10/10 would love to be BFFs and/or sibling-ish friends with her again.

Exxxaaaccctttlllyyyyy. I know the feeling. I just wanna be friends with everybody!!! I have lots of friends that I brainstorm and chat with, and I love friends that are like siblings. Though, it sometimes sucks when I tell one of my friends I love them, and then I have to say 'platonically' or they'll get the wrong idea. Still, friends are great!!!

[SamwiseLovesLife]

On 25/07/2017 at 6:51 PM, ApeironStella said:

YMBAI you always ended up making jokes about being "wife/husband" with your closest friends and you were always so close that you always ended up questioning if that it was 'something else' because society says if it is that close, it MUST BE 'stepping into romance zone' but anytime you try it, it just gets really awkward and off so you revert back to BFF status

^ This. So much. (teens desperately clinging to ANYTHING that might be romantic feeling as never have understood it)

[Apathetic Echidna]

If I was going to comment or agree I would be quoting more than half of this thread!

 

YMBAI you can't tell the difference between 'appropriate' love and 'inappropriate' love in songs. creeper, stalker, rapey, sweet, unrequited, and mutual love duets all sound the same. 

YMBAI you meet someone and think you have found an instant good friend then freak out when they try to kiss you, then they complain about sending mixed messages. When all you thought you were doing was being friendly. 

YMBAI you listen to a friend talk about their new boyfriend and you get happy seeing them happy but when they show you a picture you have no idea how to react. So you just go quiet and change the topic. 

YMBAI you thought romantic love was a social construct indoctrinated early and enforced by peer pressure to get people to pair up and form nuclear families.