Lord Pocky Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 So I realized just last year, on Valentines day of 2017, that I was aromantic. All my life, I've never felt too comfortable viewing romantic things/ couples on tv and media. I preferred things with action, adventure, and comedy. Not the kissy-smooshy scenes in old romantic movies and all that jazz. As I got older, I was quite a confused basket case. Didn't know who I was, didn't know who I liked. Well, now I know who I am. And I know that I don't like anyone. Let's start at the beginning of my journey: Eighth grade middle school. Whoo boy, this was a bit of a hectic ride. I was roleplaying with a fried of mine and he asked me out text: 'do you want to go out with me'. I of course was confused and nervous, but agreed cause I had no idea what else to do in that situation. Well, word spread and I was asked out by two other guys, one a very good friend from Special ED and another from my science class. I turned those two down and would've started dating the first guy if a certain friend of mine hadn't told him to back off because they were afraid that he was going to hurt me. I was a little salty about that exchange, but am now glad to have never dated him, cause it wouldn't have gone anywhere. Now onto sophomore year of high school: I was asked out by a freshmen that had been recently added to our friend group. I told him that I've never dated before and didn't know what the expect. So we 'practice dated'...I know, seems as bad as it sounds. This guy certainly wasn't the right pick for me anyways. I hated holding his hand and hanging around him cause he was one hell of a weeaboo and wouldn't shut up about my little pony. At the end of the week, I broke it off with him. And finally: our last step onto this long road. Valentines day, 2017. We had another member join our friend group, let's call her Ray. Now, Ray was already good friends with me, we bonded over scary things and...bl (I'm not into it anymore, thank fuck) and she popped the question at me after giving me several gifts: Candy, a stuffed teddy bear (I still have it cause it's adorable, I hold no sentimental value towards it) and a glass rose (still have it, probably gonna sell it or give it away some day) Like the first incident, I had no idea what to do in this situation, so I said 'yes'. Not 24 hours later, more like 5 to 6 hours after that question, I realized that I had fucked up big time! I immediately texted Ray and told her that I wasn't going to be comfortable in this type of relationship. She was fine with it, and the next day, all my friends are calling me 'a dick' and 'cold'. I joked with them that I wasn't. And then one of my friends suggested that I could be aromantic. I thought that that was absurd, but then I looked more into it and realized that this all clicked for me! I found out who I was (granted the road to acceptance has been a bit bumpy and I thought I actually felt romantic attraction at some points when it was actually platonic attraction). And yeah, that's my story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lia Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Hello Nice to meet you! Love your introduction I had some similar dating experience ^^ I just said yes because I had no idea what to do and didn't know I was aromantic and broke it off two weeks later because it was so damn awkward to hold his hand and to kiss him >_< My first and most likely last romantic relationship So welcome to the forum and have some aroicecream Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arokaladin Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Nice to meet you! you're so lucky you have friends knowledgeable about aspec identities I'm sure a lot of us would have benefited from someone suggesting we could be aro! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Costati Posted February 21, 2018 Share Posted February 21, 2018 Oh I feel you so much on that. I can't recall how many guys I dated because I just didn't know what to do. I really liked them and didn't want to hurt them so I just said yes a lot and forced myself into it. Dating was just such an uncomfortable experience for me and when I was in a relationship I was starting to be afraid my partner would want to spend some time with me when all I wanted was to be alone in my room listening to some music. I hated the hand stuff too. One time I punched a Guy by accident when he try to sneakily take my hand when I didn't know he was there. I really had the chance tho to never have experienced kissing when I was in a relationship (except on dares) because I've always made it clear I hated physical contact (never liked even with my parents so I just thought I had some issues with that not that it was due to aromanticism) so the guys I was with always respected that (I mean they probably heard about the time I punched that dude for holding my hand so that made them respect my decision probably). The worst part for me was the I love you it was just so damn awkward when someone said it to me. Especially if we've been dating for two weeks I get that for teenagers it's faster but that was just really Weird to me and I had no idea what I was supposed to say. Thanks is impolite apparently so I'll just go by awkward silence. I don't think that's really better. I also know the insults. I've been called cold and a heartless bitch so many times. At the time I just rolled with it. I must have been for not having the ability to reciprocate ever. Anyway welcome to youuuu hope that now that you know you won't have to feel pressured into that because it's honestly the worst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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