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Courtney

Is it possible to be aromantic, but NOT asexual?

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Hi, I'm a 16 years old girl and I am still not sure whether I like boys or girls (or both), but I do know I feel sexual attraction towards others, but I do not have any feeling towards them. I mean, I can be friends with those people, but I never really had a real crush on somebody not to mention being in love. Is there a special name for this? I know I am still a teen, who is just trying to find herself, but I don't really know with who I should talk about it and I really need some advice. If you are in a similar situation as I am, please feel free to leave a comment, I am grateful for any help :))

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Yep, definitely. I'm heterosexual, yet consider myself aromantic. It comes with it's own set of challenges different from asexuals (particularly figuring out that you're actually aromantic can be difficult, so well done!), although I wouldn't say being one is better than the other.

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Yup! Aromanticism and asexuality are two separate things, even if they often get lumped together. :)

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sexual attraction and romantic attraction are two very different things that just happen to match up in most people so they get lumped together a lot. There are a few different sorts of attraction that are all separate but for most people they work the same way or overlap each other. Sexual attraction (or lack of) just happens to be the one most people pay attention to so it gets much more visibility, but there is romantic attraction, sensual attraction, aesthetic attraction, platonic attraction and alterous attraction, and each one can be different or the same or a mix. 

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I was confused about my aromanticism for a long time because I'm EXTRA bisexual. I get sexual crushes on people allllllll the time, and they're usually intense. I just don't fall in love with them. I can and have experienced limerence, but it burns out quick and always vanishes if I find out my feelings are reciprocated. So that def added to my years of mislabelling as romantic. 

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