Am I genderfluid, Agender or what?

[Lie-RennyValkyrie_]

I call myself Agender because its the best label that fits so far. I don't feel female or male or any gender that I know of most of the time. I use they/them pronouns and tend to go for and androgynous look. Most of the time I wish I could bind (I'm AFAB) but my chest doesn't bother me most days. Some days it really bothers me others I like them. I'd rather be called male pronouns/a boy than a girl/female pronouns  but it doesn't bother me to much. The fact I have female reproductive parts doesn't bother me apart from the fact periods are annoying an I would prefer a female boy of a male body. Once (only once and it lasted for two days) I felt really masculine, almost like a male (probably Demiboy is the best description) I hated my chest and hair and stuff but that has only ever happened once. I've felt sort of like maybe a Demigirl as well before (a couple of times but not that often) but I've never felt fully male nor female.

 

Any ideas on what I am? Normally I wouldn't care but I want to come out so I can get my hair cut and get a binder.

[BionicPi]

If you feel the need for a label to come out, you could use the generic 'genderqueer'. Otherwise I would reccomend seeing if genderflux/agenderflux fits you. 

[SoulWolf]

On 13 June 2017 at 2:53 PM, Lie-RennyValkyrie_ said:

Any ideas on what I am? Normally I wouldn't care but I want to come out so I can get my hair cut and get a binder.

Why do you feel the need to come out as something with a name before you can do those things? Do them anyway, nevermind what people think.

[Confidential_Con]

^ If they're a minor and/or financially dependent on their parents, they probably wont be able to get those things without their parent's help/support. In most places getting to a hair salon requires a car, and I know my parents personally would have Freaked Out ^tm if I had cut my hair on my own, to say nothing of what the actual result would have looked like. And getting something like a binder is much harder when you don't yourself have a credit card since most sellers are online-based.

 

But yeah, I second Bionic's suggestion to look into genderflux/agenderflux, and to know that umbrella terms like nonbinary and genderqueer are fine to use on their own if you want to.

[Ettina]

I've noticed that many nonbinary people would rather be gendered as the gender they weren't assigned at birth, if they have to be treated as binary. So it doesn't surprise me that you would rather be gendered male than female, given that you're AFAB. (I actually know an agender person who is passing as a transguy at work).        

[SoulWolf]

8 hours ago, Confidential_Con said:

^ If they're a minor and/or financially dependent on their parents, they probably wont be able to get those things without their parent's help/support. In most places getting to a hair salon requires a car, and I know my parents personally would have Freaked Out ^tm if I had cut my hair on my own, to say nothing of what the actual result would have looked like. And getting something like a binder is much harder when you don't yourself have a credit card since most sellers are online-based.

I totally get that... but I don't get why coming out with a specific label has to happen before that can be done...

[Dodecahedron314]

16 hours ago, SoulWolf said:

I totally get that... but I don't get why coming out with a specific label has to happen before that can be done...

It makes it seem more like you're certain about your identity, and therefore certain about wanting to do those things seriously so it's not "just a phase".

 

In any case, as an agender person with a bit of genderflux to them, I can relate to a lot of what you're saying, so it's possible that you're on the right track. Of course, one person's experience does not a gender identity make, so that doesn't by any means imply for certain that you are <insert any gender identity here>--only your own experiences can dictate that. You seem to have a pretty good handle on paying attention to what your gender is doing, though--certainly more so than I did at this point in the questioning process--so that's definitely a start. If what you've experienced out of your own sense of gender or lack thereof is doing leads you to go with agender, there you have it! And it's completely possible to be agender and genderfluid/genderflux at the same time, so if you feel like that extra clarification fits, then by all means, whatever you feel describes you best.

[Lie-RennyValkyrie_]

On 15/06/2017 at 5:27 AM, SoulWolf said:

Why do you feel the need to come out as something with a name before you can do those things? Do them anyway, nevermind what people think.

You are right I don't need a label to be able to do those things but it would be a lot easier.

On 15/06/2017 at 5:59 PM, Confidential_Con said:

 

^ If they're a minor and/or financially dependent on their parents

 

Yeah I am I minor 

[SoulWolf]

On 16 June 2017 at 5:05 PM, Dodecahedron314 said:

It makes it seem more like you're certain about your identity, and therefore certain about wanting to do those things seriously so it's not "just a phase".

Ideally it shouldn't be necessary with supportive parents... neither of those things are permanent changes anyway. But I guess you have to do whatever you need to do to get what you need.  

 

As for what label to use... I dunno, lol. Gender confuses me, I also mostly roll with Agender because it's the only thing that sort of fits me.

[Ettina]

I know someone who is out as just 'nonbinary'. I don't know if they identify just as nonbinary, or if they identify with a more specific term and just don't want to get into the details. But if you're not sure, just come out as nonbinary.

[shotinthehand]

Hi, everyone!

I'm collecting video interviews from non-straight women and transgender and non-binary people on their relationships with their femininity.

If anyone is alright with me interviewing them, please let me know! If you know anyone who might be alright with being interviewed, put them in contact with me!

I'm going to be asking everyone questions like "how does wearing a dress make you feel?" and "do you like being described as feminine?" and I plan on asking questions specific to people's orientations and gender identities as well, such as "how do you respond when people say 'you don't look like a lesbian'?" or "as a trans-girl, do you feel obligated to wear make up to indicate to other people that you are a girl?" or "do people expect you to be available to men as a woman, even after you tell them you are aromantic?"

I'm going to edit all the interviews I get into one cohesive film and then show it in a theater at my school for a suggested donation of about a dollar. I'm going to donate all proceeds to the Urgent Action Fund for Women's Rights, an organization that grants money to activists for women's rights and LGBT+ rights, especially their intersection.

I need to have this finished by March of 2019.

Thanks for your time!