Jump to content


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


About Magni

  • Rank
  • Birthday 09/01/1999

Personal Information

  • Name
  • Gender
  • Pronouns
  • Occupation
    College Student, Engineering major
  • Romanticism
  • Sexuality

Contact Methods

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. Perhaps wording a bit harsh bc emotions, but like....I don't consider that personal insults? If I dislike someone and find them stressful to interact with then I will express that/don't see why I should hide that. I find most forum discussions exhausting and stressful, if I'm addressed and I see it I feel compelled to respond and keep responding even when it's time consuming and stressful and it pretty much always ends with me feeling upset rather than satisfied. If you're gonna refer to a post I've made, especially in context of disagreeing or expressing disapproval with it, then I would like to know so I can defend my perspective if feel the need, but ideally would be not doing so to start with. And I tend to dislike people I only ever have negative interactions with, and get increasingly irritated the more I interact with them. re: second part about queerplatonic etc a) I did put a disclaimer above that part saying it was explaining a frustrated perspective and wasn't being delicately worded and fact checked b) was less that alloromantic people can't do qpr's but more that....comparatively, the need for such a term seems more inherently implied by aro experience? (idk if that makes sense) c) I'll admit I'm probably a bit bitter due to ex-irl friends claiming they understood and reflected my emphasis on friendship only to contradict it with their actions. I'm gonna close this tab on computer to try and avoid checking it bc I'll just upset myself increasingly more and feel compelled to respond to what I see, so don't expect me to respond further bc I don't want to.
  2. I see I was mentioned by things and I feel irritated and obligated to respond. I would like to point out, I prefaced my statement with "from what I understand," linking to where I'd seen it, and if anything was asking for correction if I was misinformed rather than spreading misinformation. (and I did not respond further to the conversation bc I left for a halloween thing then was busy with a 15 page paper that weekend so by the time I had time for it, I'd forgotten/it was less relevant/had lost track of conversation.) This is also linking to a post I made....I'm not entirely sure what point you're trying to make with this or why you cited this post as evidence of it? Like, I feel almost offended, especially because I do identify with aplatonic/aplatonic-spectrum/demiplatonic (just posted a thing for carnival of aros explaining my experience with that which does kinda influence how I independently define it). I copy-pasted the definition from AUREA & included the link, which then has link to the original coining (which tbh reading through that thread is confusing and seems to get off topic). Is it because I said it was coined by neurodivergent aroaces? That's what I've seen on multiple prominent posts: 1. "Used mostly by neurodivergent aros...." 2. "for aromantic people" 3. "for aromantic people" Like, the posts I read if anything only mentioned it being for aros, I remembered that it like other things was sourced from AVEN so I said it originated with aroaces, and mainly was mentioning that part since I'd only copied the one definition rather than both and still wanted to acknowledge the fact that it's related to neurodivergent experience. Like, maybe all the other posts I'd seen aren't accurate but it's not like I was just making stuff up, why would you use my post with only 27 notes as an example of this misinformation when all three of the posts I just linked have well over 1,000 notes and would be what's mainly spreading the misinformation? (it almost feels like you're seeking out stuff to criticize about me..... @Coyote I do not like interacting with you, you're the main reason I don't go on the forums much anymore bc interacting with you is exhausting, and you know maybe part of why you get so much pushback is you're irritating to deal with and it always feels condescendingly argumentative such that people are inherently inclined to disagree with you). Oh also, we did see reply to that post and got an ask about it elaborating on other definitions/aspect of aplatonic and am planning to post/reply to that at some point (but like I only just got done with final exams, things take time and energy and focus) *** Big agree on this. (Disclaimer: the following is intended as elaborating on this train of thinking/why people feel this way....not saying it's factual origin etc but explaining a perspective, don't get mad at me for being factually inaccurate on some nuanced wording thing) 1. Like, intuitively and etymologically, queerplatonic being based more in the blurry lines of friendship/platonic implies a relation to more aromantic experiences. If someone's alloromantic ace, and in a romantic non-sexual relationship, then that can just be called a romantic relationship? Whereas if an aro person is in a queerplatonic relationship, there's not really another term. 2. even bigger mood; like, genuinely, the more alloromantic aces I met irl after starting college, the more alienated I felt from the ace community, in large part bc of amatonormative things they said or did.....and there's stuff online too but in general easier to dismiss online stuff whereas getting it from people irl makes it all the more alienating. And like, online, all I saw in the ace community was people talking about stuff relating to dating while ace and stuff, which I could not relate to, and felt alienated by, and is also part of why it didn't make inherent sense to me for queerplatonic to be tied to ace stuff more than aro stuff bc it feels more logically linked to the aro side of my experiences. And like....there's a general sense of feeling left behind in invisibility by the ace community, which I think does generally contribute to these feelings.
  3. (Inspired by this tumblr thread) We tend to focus a lot on spreading awareness and community building, which are important, but it's also useful to consider other aspects of aro activism, including more political issues. Here are some issues which occurred to me: 1. Marriage: The legal benefits of marriage and lack of alternate options….having some way to declare someone as “family” for purposes of medical leave and such without requiring marriage/romance. Also, partnering with the polyamory community on this because they also face issues with the current system of marriage. 2. Adoption: the adoption system has lots of issues in general with what sort of parents they consider “capable” and how that can be an issue against queer people in general, but more specifically, so single aro people can better adopt children if they wish. 3. Workplace Protections: the queer community in general still needs protections against discrimination, but it does affect us too, and it would be important to include not only that they can’t discriminate against people for their sexual orientation, but also their romantic orientation. (This is the issue I personally would be most concerned about tbh) 4. Education: along with wanting schools to teach about queer identities in general, making sure Aromantic is included. 5. Healthcare: this has some overlap with my first point about “spousal” benefits, but generally making sure aro people aren’t discriminated against in healthcare. This includes mental health, and making sure we could seek therapy without having to educate them about our identities or have our identity medicalized. Additionally, I believe there is something about single people receiving less aggressive treatment options and therefore having worse outcomes, so preventing that kinda thing too. 6. Support Networks: most adults seem to get their social needs met via their romantic partnerships, or find community via religious groups. There’s generally a need for non-denominational groups to provide support and community, because people generally need that sort of thing, and feeling isolated can be detrimental to people’s health. One form of this might be lgbtqa+ community centers in general, ones that are alcohol-free community resource centers (which other parts of the queer community want too). So, what are some other aro-related political issues you can think of? Or, elaborate on any of the aforementioned issues and which things might be more feasible to work on, etc.
  4. Firstly, it wouldn't be mixed up with the autism spectrum, a-spec has been used specifically for ace & aro, and the misconception that it is appropriating language from the autistic community was spread by exclusionists to discredit us. As for shortening name while still conserving searchability....I'd say change "Social Group" to a single word, such as community or just group. Additionally, you can reframe the way it mentions the places, so perhaps "Ace and Aro Group (at/of) Liverpool & Wirral". This would make the actual name "Ace & Aro Group" with a sub-title for the places. Aside from the name, you might also want to mention in the description of your group that it is inclusive to "Anyone who is ace and or aro, including aro allos" etc. to make it more explicitly inclusive. Secondly, one subtle thing which I think actually is very impactful is being cognizant of the colors you use on things. If I see an organization that's labelled ace and aro, but everything on their website/etc is purple and there's no green, then I'd interpret that to mean they're heavily ace-focused and they haven't actively worked towards aro inclusion aside from just tagging it on to the name. So visual representation of stuff should generally be equivalent. (On a related point, if you're going to list out demisexual and gray asexual in something alongside aromantic, include the corresponding aromantic identities too because otherwise it kinda implies that aromantic is yet another sub-category of asexual when it's not). Other suggestions for community building & inclusion: I talked to some people who organized an ace group who were talking about how there was a need to have some meetings for demisexual/gray-asexual/sex favorable aces to talk about those things while not making sex-repulsed aces uncomfortable, so balancing those community needs. Point being, it might be useful to have some meetings which are specified as open to more discussion on sexual things, making it more welcoming to aromantic allosexuals along with aces who are more sex-favorable. (though, feasibility of that kinda depends on if you or another organizer feel comfortable facilitating such discussions, or if enough people in your group would be interested in such a thing, but it is something to consider). Another thing to consider is romance repulsion; one of the things which initially made me more distanced from the ace community was that so many discussions seemed to revolve around romance. And this doesn't mean having to make it outright not allowed, but generally making it clear that people who are romance repulsed can be accommodated to feel comfortable in the discussion, similar to how you'd treat sex repulsion. (I've had ace people I knew irl outright dismiss me when I expressed discomfort with something because of romance repulsion, and generally issues with that have made me uncomfortable in an irl queer group because it was made clear that I couldn't even express my discomfort without people getting irritated with me about it, because unfortunately society really doesn't respect romance repulsion). Resources you might be interested in: https://www.aromanticism.org/news-feed/community-building This talks about community building stuff in general, but there is some stuff specifically about aro spaces and stuff too. https://www.aromanticism.org/en/resources-1 This has lots of aro resources, but if you scroll down to "offline resources" there are several groups listed which might give you some inspiration for naming things.
  5. @Mark Varioriented was mentioned as part of Mixed Orientation Identity; we will cross-list it to include both terms more visibly. We will not add Quoiplatonic because we already have aplatonic spectrum and mentioned it can have any prefix assigned to it, such as demiplatonic; quoiplatonic would fall under that category and therefore is already included. Though, we may edit the definition of aplatonic-spectrum to list quoiplatonic as an example alongside demiplatonic. We will rephrase the definition for monogamy repulsion; you are encouraged to email us at contact@aromanticism.org to help form an accurate and concise definition. This is the source we have for omniaromantic & panaromantic, and in it the two terms are listed as synonyms with a single definition for them both. The use of these prefixes in this context is not analogous to how they are used in pansexual and omnisexual. Rather than being a descriptor of genders towards which people are attracted, in omniaromantic & panaromantic it is used to convey a lack of all attractions; presumably, the person who coined it made both terms since the pre-fixes are both associated with the meaning "all". Overall, they will not be listed separately because that would require having separate definitions. Lush & Swish are both listed in the arospecawarenessweek's glossary. They list this post as the source for both of these terms (though it is unclear whether they coined the terms or just popularized them). *** As a general reminder, we prefer to get feedback via email at contact@aromanticism.org because it is easier for us to keep track of.
  6. Yeah, I also think it seems interesting but you're not really giving us a lot of information to go on, both logistically and in terms of content. You said "a personal story" and "different perspectives"...are you planning to do one person or multiple? if multiple, do you have plans to represent diverse experiences? (for example, aro ace, aromantic allosexual, alloromantic ace, people who are arospec but experience some romantic attraction, etc?) Basic logistics? can it be done virtually or must it be done in real life; where are you based? presumably people must be over 18, but are there other restrictions such as where people are from? Can this be done anonymously/via pseudonym? what are your plans concerning privacy of participants? I am also curious why you are doing this project/what made you aware of it or motivated you to do it? Also yeah generally more information about the content and what you hope to achieve would be good.
  7. Magni

    Hogwarts Houses!

    Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw....I've taken the pottermore quiz several times and I've gotten Ravenclaw each time lol....my secondary house would be either slytherin or hufflepuff Ilvermorny House (I don't think others have put this? but it's also from Harry Potter universe): Horned Serpent Divergent Faction: Erudite Godly Parent: Athena (though I reckon I'd end up as a Hunter of Artemis) so uh.....basically all the ones about intelligence, which isn't surprising because for a long time, basically my only personality trait was "smart"
  8. I don't really see the term "transgender pronouns" used? Like....many trans people don't use neopronouns. Neopronouns are basically any pronouns which haven't been regularly established in english, so not she, he, they, or it. Also, what pronouns people use isn't necessarily tied to their gender? People can use whichever pronouns they prefer, regardless of their gender identity. "neopronouns" is a term literally meaning "new pronouns", and while it's commonly used by nonbinary people, they're not named "nonbinary pronouns" because that would be unnecessarily restricting their use to specific gender identities.
  9. I don't necessarily agree with this? I think it's good to have an umbrella term to include these attractions but which is not itself a specific type of attraction. Though, I suppose having another word for a specific type of attraction like this could be useful? But I think currently, "alterous" is purposely vague in order to somewhat fill that role? Having both is good, but I would also like a term which is not itself a specific type of attraction, but which I can use to describe the other specific attractions I feel as a group. Hmmm....perhaps, like, Oblique attractions as the group, and Obverse attraction as a specifically vague type of attraction? at least, based on the terms that have been previously mentioned
  10. Anyone who isn't cisgender, heteromantic, AND heterosexual has a place in the lgbtqa community, so yeah.
  11. So, hir/zir would be analogous to her; these are examples of a possessive determiner, which is a pronoun modifying a noun to show possession. In contrast, hirs/zirs would be analogous to hers; these are examples of a possessive pronoun. The difference: "That is zir computer" vs. "The computer is zirs" Also, these would more commonly be considered neopronouns rather than transgender pronouns
  12. I am generally of the opinion that if someone finds a label useful for themselves, they should use it? Yeah, be aware of context and how you're communicating it and stuff, but if you find a label useful for yourself, you should use it. But similarly, people shouldn't feel forced into using a label, even if it technically applies, and thus people shouldn't try to force others to use a label. Also, as far as the historical context with usage of words: back in the 70's and 80's, there were way less words, and the lines were more blurred between groups? Such as aces being lumped in with the bi community and stuff. Also I think there was something about "bambi lesbians" who were....presumably ace? With butch specifically, like.....I know before I knew I was ace and aro, I knew that I was queer. Before I figured out I was agender, I wanted to appear butch/androgynous, not only because of my unrecognized feelings about gender at the time, but also because I wanted to distance myself from femininity and what would be considered "conventionally attractive", because I did not want to cater to the male gaze, I wanted to do the opposite such that they wouldn't have interest in me. There is a lot of overlap between lesbians and afab a-specs in how we both are....expected to be attracted to men and yet we're not, and subsequently how we want to distance ourselves from that. From what I understand, both butch and femme are based at least in part on these experiences, which also apply to us. And in general like.....we may only recently have the words for ourselves, but we have been part of the community for a long time, we just would've been grouped into different labels? So in general, arguments trying to exclude us because of historical context are just.....completely mis-interpreting context. *** I feel conflicted by the oriented aroace thing for myself in general.....because, like, I think I'm probably attracted mostly to other enby people? or enby and women but not men? But I also don't know, because while I do feel a distinct attraction worth labeling, the only solid descriptor I have of it is that it is very Demi.....so I usually go with demiplatonic. So, I guess technically I could be demi-oriented aroace? But the way it is set up seems to be only based on gender direction of attraction.....and uh considering they way the coiner has excluded arospec and acespec people, I a) am irritated with it on principle and b) feel that if I did consider myself that way, it would be misconstrued as demiro/demi-ace.....which would have backlash. And I can't really label gender direction with any accuracy because like......I have a sample size of 2 and 3 halves? And with several of them, gender knew them to be at beginning changed? So yeah, it's confusing.....Overall I feel really conflicted over the label so I'll probably just stick with demiplatonic since the aplatonic-spectrum is an established thing which I've always related to to some extent, and even though attraction might be less platonic and more.....mix of queerplatonic, alterous, and sensual, it is simpler. (suppose tangent to overall conversation, but had thoughts wanted share and stuff)
  13. Hmm I would've wanted to add more options for things...on one hand, stuff like non-SAM aro and also like....aplatonic-spectrum or nonamorous or partnering or oriented/angled aroace, etc. But yeah, polls are good! Would be nice to find out more regarding demographics and stuff. It would be nice to do a "census" at some point, but that requires....time, energy, and organization. I have a discord server for aro survey stuff.....which isn't particularly active, but it does generally have people who have interest in doing aro surveys and stuff. I don't want to post link publicly per ce, but if you're interested in joining you can PM me and I can invite you. (this is general/plural "you" btw).
  14. Mood, I don't like pepperoni and generally only eat cheese; the only other topping I like at all is bacon, and even then I often pick most of it off to eat separately first. though yeah there's a certain reasonably equivalent ratio you want between cheese and sauce and stuff? Like....if there's too much sauce the cheese tends to slide too much and it's generally messy....I suppose there's a point where too much cheese is a problem but it doesn't generally come up I think? Also, part of it depends on the sauce itself and how spicy it is though....and I think overall, the bread/crust is what's most important for overall pizza quality.
  15. One thing that can be useful in general is explaining the difference between sexual attraction and libido. Food metaphors can also be useful for explaining attraction in a more tangible way.
  • Create New...