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Jot-Aro Kujo

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Everything posted by Jot-Aro Kujo

  1. I like Paracelsus because he was an early supporter (in European history, anyway) of things such as "Lectures should be done in the language of the common people, not Latin, to make them accessible to the public," "You should learn via practical lessons and test things for yourself too, instead of just unquestioningly following books written hundreds of years ago and taking them as 100% true and letting that be your entire medical education," and "You should wash your hands and keep wounds clean and protected instead of literally rubbing cow shit in open wounds." (No, seriously, that last part is true. Horrifying, but that was genuinely a thing that was done at the time.) He was also a hell of a sarcasm master, and didn't stop fighting against bad practices in medicine and academia even when everyone else told him to shut up, which as a punk myself I find admirable tbh. I'm not saying he was a perfect guy ofc, but there are definitely things about him I think are at the very least pretty interesting.
  2. Personally as far as rings go, I really want a gold arrow curled around my finger. Allo aro pride!
  3. What do you mean? The color green has been decided on for years, and even the current flag design has been the most "official" one for quite some time now. We also have arrows as a symbol, and some aros wear white rings. You're new here, right? I recommend checking out some older threads. There have definitely been discussions about aro symbols before, so you might find some interesting thoughts there.
  4. Can I ask who exactly is involved in making this site? The reason I ask is because I haven't heard any like... community-wide discussion of starting an aro advocacy site, and considering the thing with TAAAP needless to say I am uh. Currently a little wary of unknown individuals just up and starting projects like this out of the blue, yknow.
  5. I'm not very fond of it... The full name is fine, but it's hard to remember, and the acronym sounds like some sort of weird medical thing hkjdfhkdhg sorry!! I know you're trying your best and acronyms are tough, but I... feel like this is not the one, lmao.
  6. That's something the aro community, and especially us allo aros, have been fighting against for a long time. I'm sorry you had to find out about it this way.
  7. Honestly, as an allo aro myself I fucking HATE the term "friends with benefits". My friends are a benefit in themselves! I don't need any "benefits" to my friendships, friendship is already top tier for me, and it's not some sort of business transaction. I can't stand language that puts down friendship like that. Nobody is a lesser friend just because they're not interested in having sex with their friends, and the only "benefit" in friendship is all the wonderful ways my friends make me happy, with or without sex. Personally I would love to have a term for "friend who you also have sex with in a purely non-romantic way" that doesn't make other friends seem lesser.
  8. I think Mark put things very well. I do not think TAAAP will be ready to advocate for the aro community as a whole until you have multiple, active allo aros on your team. If you want to do aroace projects, great, have fun and I wish you the best, but you're clearly not nearly aware enough of allo aro issues to reflect all aros. I highly doubt anyone would ever find it acceptable to have a handful of aroaces represent the entire ace community- So why is it fine for them to represent the entire aro community? Oh wait, I know why, lmao.
  9. Thank you for the apology. It means a lot to me to hear that someone does care how allo aros feel. I hope that in the future, events like this will be organized with more input from allo aros before they start off.
  10. Ooh, that's a good idea! I sadly don't actually speak Spanish (aside from a few words and old Rican anti-drugs campaign slogans phrases), but I'd really love to hear from more hispanic aros. To start off super basic, I might suggest talking about the split attraction model, different arospec identities (grey-aro, lithromantic, cupioromantic, etc), as well as aro community terminology such as QPR, squishes, amatonormativity, etc. For more detailed topics, you could talk about the history and ongoing debate around terms such as nonpartnering/nonamorous/aplatonic, voidpunk, or aro media. Good luck! I hope it goes well!
  11. I realize I haven't said anything on this actual thread yet, only complained about it on Discord, so I'm going to go ahead and give my two cents. I very much recognize the history between the aro community and the ace community, and I appreciate TAAAP organizing this, I really do. I also understand why, as an "ace and aro" organization, they would want to make the first set of prompts an intercommunity thing open to both aces and aros of all sorts. But if I'm being honest, speaking as one of those terrible, horrible dirty heartless sex machine allosexual aros? Making the first month about the relationship between the two communities was, frankly, kind of a dick move. Let me put it this way: Imagine your friends invite you to come to a double feature movie. The second movie is your favorite, a little-known movie that you deeply love... But the first movie is one you hate, and frankly makes you uncomfortable, but all your friends love it. When the first movie ends and everyone starts talking about how much they love it, are you going to declare how much you hate it? Or are you going to smile and nod and try not to say anything? It's all fine and good to say it's ok to talk about whatever, sure. But what the fuck am I supposed to do? Waltz in on day one of the aro-ace carnival and be like "What up, the ace community is in many ways directly responsible for a good 8 years or so of my personal suffering that has left significant lasting psychological effects, continues to treat me like shit and frankly I don't trust allo aces further than I can throw a piece of paper"? Come on! The ace community hates me enough as it is, I'm not stupid enough to go and rock the boat. And starting the event off like this, this event that's supposedly by-aros-for-aros, with the first month being something where I feel like I- someone who desperately clings to the aro community because it's all I fucking have, because the rest of society sure doesn't want me- have to sit down and shut up and hide my problems, that really fucking hurts. Not to mention that it doesn't do a lot to disspell the notion that aromanticism is only a subset of asexuality, which is the thing that fucked me up for so long in the first place. Maybe it would've been fine if it were a later month, but starting out like that... I don't feel welcome. I don't feel enthusiastic about the rest of this event. I don't feel celebrated. I don't even feel like I'm allowed to speak up about it. I feel nasty, forgotten, silenced, unwanted, and excluded in my own community. I feel unwelcome in the aro community because I can't take two steps without being told Remember That We Owe It All To The Asexuals! Remember The Aro Community Is Part Of The Ace Community! Remember How Many Aros Are Ace Too! and TAAAP is really not doing anything to change this feeling. Also, it's perhaps worth mentioning that I'm not the only allo aro to feel this way about this event. I've heard the same sentiment from several others, but of course, nobody's really bringing it up to TAAAP's face because... Well, as mentioned, the ace community already hates us enough as it is and we don't want to rock the boat.
  12. It's your identity, man. I mean, you sound aro to me, but who am I to label you? Only you can decide what you want to call yourself.
  13. I read a few chapters of it and found it pretty good. Sadly, I couldn't find more than the first few in English, so... I hope the rest of it will be good too.
  14. Well here's an issue you'd think would be a no-brainer, and yet I have seen multiple times: "Ace and aro" groups and events need to just. Fucking. STOP USING EXCLUSIVELY ACE IMAGERY. Or like, primarily ace with one (1) tiny little bit of aro symbolism somewhere in there. It's irritating at best, completely exclusionary at worst- if I'm scrolling through something quickly and see big bold ace flags everywhere, are my eyes immediately going to pick out the one little word that's colored green? Or am I going to go "Ah, ace stuff," and ignore it? You can't just visually shove us in the corner and expect aros to feel included.
  15. I appreciate the attempt at inclusiveness, I really do, but... No offense, but if you really want aros to come to your event, you're going to have to try harder. Absolutely nothing about this looks welcoming to aros, other than having a few aro labels tacked on at the very end. It's literally described as an asexuality conference, hosted by Aces NYC and the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, with a graphic featuring entirely ace imagery aside from one word being green. Do you even care about non-ace aromantics? Do you even think of us at all? Does it matter to you that we exist? Because right now it really doesn't feel like it. I am aromantic. I am bisexual. I recognize the historical link between the aro community and the asexual community, and I love and support all of my ace siblings, but I am NOT a footnote in your asexual experience. My experiences, and those of other aros like me, are important and deserve to be recognized, supported, and celebrated without having to put half of them aside and squeeze myself into an event not made for me, hoping that maybe I can catch a tiny bit of support for some of my experiences (but clearly not all). Don't expect me to even think of coming to such an event unless some major changes are made to the way it's being presented right now. I do not feel welcome, I do not feel supported, and I'm also not so rude as to infringe on a space not made for me, so if you want aros of all types to come to your event... You're going to have to open the door, not just leave it unlocked and assume we know to come in.
  16. Yeah, sure. There are plenty of romance-favorable aros, nothing wrong with it. It's definitely possible to have a healthy romantic relationship as an aro, too. Just do what you want my dude, it doesn't make you any less aro than anybody else.
  17. Also, guys, aros can date. Nobody has to conform to relationship anarchy. There are aro-spec people who feel romantic attraction sometimes, as well as romance-favorable aros who might enjoy dating, and they deserve respect and a space in this community to be themselves just as much as anyone does. It seems really rude to just dismiss the whole topic because "well why would aros date?"
  18. I think it could be a good thing, but also has to be handled carefully to ensure safety and all that. Especially re: underage users.
  19. "Cancel out" in what way? Your personality is your personality. I'd still have the same personality even if I were a ghost possessing a toaster. The only way to change your personality is by actively working on your behavior, although idk what you mean by "weird" personality, and frankly as someone with a neurodevelopmental disorder myself I think "weird" is usually a derogatory label given by narrow-minded morons who can't handle someone being different from them. Better to find friends who aren't massive assholes than to try to mutilate your sense of self.
  20. It was hard to pick, but I went for "visibility in media" because I think there are probably a lot of aros out there who don't know they're aro, and media representation is a really important thing for showing people we exist. Had I ever even heard the term "aromantic" when I was younger, outside of being a specific type of asexuality, I would most likely have identified as aro at a much younger age and saved myself a lot of pain and suffering. I definitely think the other items on the list are important things that I want to work to (particularly irl aro stuff), but I think before we can do that at all, we need to gain more visibility and more strength in numbers. It'd be hard to make an aro group if out of the 20 aros in your town, only two of them actually know what aromanticism is, yknow what I mean? I feel like the first step is just, hey everyone, we exist! And then we can go forward from there. Basically what I'm saying is step 1: Find and kill the writers of Riverdale, step two ???, step 3 profit
  21. Eh, I'm a little confused as to what you're asking here... It might be better for you to try an asexual-specific site like AVEN? Not that I'm saying you're not welcome here, of course, because you totally are! But it sounds like your question is about asexuality, not aromanticism? I'm not asexual, so I don't really have any advice for you otherwise... Although some of our ace members might, but in any case what I'm trying to say is it sounds like this specific question, you could probably get better answers for on another site. Good luck though, and welcome!
  22. I was in a similar situation once, although admittedly mine lasted much longer and also started for very different reasons (no self-harm involved, but a lot more pressure from other friends who "shipped" us). My advice is to just... Be honest with her. I don't think it's really "lying" if you misunderstood your own feelings. Tell her your line of thought, explain the misunderstanding, and make it clear that you do still care for her in a non-romantic sense. She sounds like a good friend, so I think she'll probably understand. Good luck!
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