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About running.tally

  • Rank
    Research Nerd With Too Much Motivation And Not Enough Time
  • Birthday 12/26/1995

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  • Name
  • Gender
  • Pronouns
    E(y)/Em/Eir Singular or They/Them/Their Plural
  • Location
  • Occupation
    Graduate Student
  • Romanticism
  • Sexuality

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  1. A fellow writer! Do you have a place you publish your writing? If you're comfortable, I'd love to see.
  2. Hi! Welcome. I'm doing pretty well and I hope you've had a good day.
  3. Other times threads like these have popped up, I don't think I was ready to talk in detail with others about my own mental health so thank you for starting this wholesome thread now that I am. @DavidMS703 I'm really happy to hear that you've gotten a bit better and have learned how to manage anxiety and depression with some good support systems! You're doing great accepting and living with these parts of you. @Cristal Gris The aromanticism and mental health relation you described is exactly how I feel too! I was never able to put it into words, though, so thank you for this. I'm happy you've learned about parts of yourself that have helped you. As for me, I'm a mix of mental illness and suspected neurodivergence (the latter of which I'm still trying to pin down exactly, and the former taking from so many different symptoms that comorbidity has basically morphed into one really weird feeling hahaha). I struggled with depression for a long time (still do) and am a suicide attempt survivor. The trigger for the depression is high anxiety, which I've always struggled with, probably since I was born. I was a classic anxious/insecure attachment child. Part of the general anxiety is social anxiety (alternatively or perhaps additionally, autistic traits? Still confused about that one) and part of my coping strategy looks a lot like OCD but the overlap between anxious coping and obsessive/compulsive behaviours is pretty murky. Like Cristal, though, learning about different conditions has helped me understand my symptoms a lot better, and regardless of my diagnoses (official or not), I've found ways of coping. I've gotten better at mimicking common social behaviours and events with practice, so that has lessened my discomfort somewhat, and my depression has gone from so severe I thought I would never recover to a little piece of my mind that I can grapple with most times. Many years ago I genuinely thought I would never see tomorrow, that I was the exception to all recovery stories, so it's sometimes strange (but nevertheless rewarding) that I'm still here and even spreading positivity. Sometimes my coping means doing no work and sleeping for 24 hours and sometimes it means getting hyperfocused on something, but all in all I'm getting better and am really grateful to my friends for being my support system when I was distressed.
  4. Welcome! @The Angel of Eternity already gave you aro ice cream but there's no harm in giving you even more: I'll let @aroalien explain what those terms mean to them but if you're looking for a definition, @The Angel of Eternity, nblw is usually short for a nonbinary person who is attracted to women. Sapphic is also used for being generally attracted to women if I remember right. Anyway, welcome again, and you sound really cool.
  5. As someone who struggles with depression and who is also aro, I get where you're coming from. It's incredibly frustrating seeing friends of mine slowly abandon me for romantic pursuits and constantly have my family hammer my brain with "So when you get married, _____" comments. Sometimes I'm quite happy to be aro because, like Tost said, there are people out there who do stay and who do respect me. It gets to me sometimes that those people are the minority and it for sure doesn't take away from the hurt and loneliness and touch-starved feelings I get. But, I'll be honest, chatting with these folks here and on Tumblr/Discord about their lives and aro issues has been really validating and rewarding for me. Being able to share my struggles is something I love about this community and when my friends are being distant, I at least have the crutch of the online world and my hobbies. It's not a perfect system and it sometimes isn't enough to make me feel better, but I think that with enough communication with friends and society at large about amatonormativity may help us see change. Thanks for coming by and sharing this. It takes a lot, I know, but you're not alone in this. Being queer (and aro specifically) can be hard right now. That's why we're fighting for change. In the meantime, we're always nearby (sometimes literally) and real allies and friends will step up to close the gap sometimes so it never hurts to be vulnerable and honest with them. I'm sending lots of hugs and support. 💚
  6. Oh gotcha! I wasn't sure about whether we were just searching for an umbrella term or both that and a specific vague attraction. I'm definitely biased, but I like oblique especially as an umbrella term. I would readily use it. As for the specific vague attraction, I'm not a person in need of this term but if others are in search of such a term and like it, it would make a great sibling term. You do have a point with alterous (and arguably queerplatonic or honestly just queer) being vague enough to potentially include what some folks here are thinking of.
  7. THE FINAL ROUND is here! Vote here for your favourite community acronym. Huge thank you to everyone who's participated and commented so far.
  8. Hi Fae! Gosh I love the neopronouns you chose. Also hurrah for genderqueer bud! Here's some aro ice cream as a welcome gift: As for your question, absolutely. There are many people here who relate to your experiences. You don't have to be romance-repulsed to be aro and what kind of content you like to consume doesn't say anything about your own experiences of attraction. Hope that helps, and welcome again.
  9. Hi Koffee! Welcome. Here is a complementary aro ice cream for you: (Also A++ on rhyming title)
  10. Thanks for clarifying this, Coyote! The team just isn't quite sure how to respond, if we can be honest. We wanted to make clear that those of us on the core team are us because we work well together, are dedicated to inclusivity, and have time right now. What we're asking from everyone else isn't for your personal trust right now, but for your support and feedback. That's why we were confused by Mark's comment at the beginning. We welcome their feedback but know we can't fix them not trusting us with simple words. You will have to see the site to judge and this conversation will be circular until you see what we have created. Please don't assume we will misrepresent you. That's why we're here and listening, you know? What can we do better? We get the apprehension behind blindly supporting us without seeing our content (especially with money). You don't have to do that and we're not asking for that if you don't know us. The financial support we've garnered is from people who have seen us around and know what our personal goals and stakes in this are. We have also reached our initial goal for finances so if you've been apprehensive about donating, don't feel you need to. It might also be worth mentioning that most of the funds were covered by just our core team. I don't think @Mark is the only apprehensive one but we appreciate them speaking out. Allow us to work on it first and then we, community-wide, can talk about constructive criticism and feedback. Hope that helps!
  11. This makes loads of sense! I am also a very physically affectionate aro and experience alterous attraction so it's nice to see another person like that. Welcome to Arocalypse. Here's some aro ice cream for you:
  12. Thank you @assignedgothatbirth! This is really useful. This first time around Paypal did its job, but really good to know about other options.
  13. maybe we should call it hipster attraction The 'hipster' thing was totally a joke but it's actually got me thinking. A term that vaguely means 'nonconformist' attractions would be ideal here. It could describe 'non-mainstream' types of attractions and also potentially include 'non-mainstream' romantic- or sexual-adjacent attractions as well. Some terms: - oblique attraction(s): still like this one because it covers the below and above - obverse attraction(s): obverse meaning complementary but not 'opposite,' since many attractions are kind of complementary (like connected along an emotional axis like you described @assignedgothatbirth or perhaps crossing certain axes) or alongside romantic/sexual attraction, or can be understood in ways similar to romantic/sexual attraction in terms of being oriented - diametric attraction(s): diametric meaning 'opposed,' kind of 'as opposed to 'simple' romantic/sexual attraction'
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