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Naegleria fowleri

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About Naegleria fowleri

  • Rank
    Member
  • Birthday 12/20/1999

Personal Information

  • Name
    Lindsay
  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    She/Her
  • Location
    Canada
  • Occupation
    Student + other stuff
  • Romanticism
    Aro
  • Sexuality
    Ace

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  1. BC kid here but I don't really have free time to travel
  2. Was explaining aromanticism to someone today (a stranger who overheard me talking about it with someone else) and when I explained that I don't get crushes or date or anything like that he legit asks me, "So... what are your goals then?" Lol. We had a good chat.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. aro_elise

      aro_elise

      no way!  i would have been speechless.

    3. Naegleria fowleri

      Naegleria fowleri

      Right so for some reason or another I've designated myself "aro spokesperson" and so any time I get an opportunity to reasonably work aromanticism into a conversation I usually do (I suppose it helps that my family is cool with it and I've had some great responses in the past). But anyway, I find these conversations really fulfilling because when this person said, "But, everyone gets crushes," I replied with, "Well, how can you be so sure?" And I saw him slowly start to question his worldview. We kept going, he asked how did I know I wouldn't have a crush later in life? And I said, well maybe I will. But that doesn't mean I'm going to let that change the way I identify now. And I likened it to, well, how do we know a person who identifies as straight won't have a same sex attraction later in life. How can anyone really identify as anything, if we think that way? And he said he liked that way of looking at it.

      Maybe this is a university thing, but I've found a lot of people I've talked to appreciate being exposed to something new. They look at you with a sort of awe for having discovered this about yourself, in this world, and then standing up for it.

    4. aro_elise

      aro_elise

      yeah i'm in uni and i've had a few people ask (usually because of the flag sticker on my laptop) and they've been cool about it.  i was explaining split attraction to my friend and he said his ex-girlfriend was "bisexual but only wanted relationships with guys" or something and i said she was probably heteroromantic bisexual, which is the most common combination.  so yeah, i don't purposely bring it up, but i don't usually avoid it.

  3. Naegleria fowleri

    Advice for new aros!

    One of the hardest parts of coming out is trying to put your experiences into words romantic people can understand. Everyone comes out in their own way, but I'd like to share some things that have and have not worked for me. "Aromantics don't experience romantic attraction, ie. they don't get crushes, they don't fall in love, that sort of thing." ---> Response: "That sounds like a psychopath!" ...It turned out she confused falling in love with loving in general. She was much more accepting once I set her straight. "I don't think I want a boyfriend." ---> Response from my admirer: "Oh, you're not looking for a boyfriend right now. That's okay." Some people mix up aromanticism with temporary singledom. Explaining why I identify as aromantic: "I was in a relationship where we were mostly friends, but he liked me as more than that, and so I tried to make it work that way. And he would do things like look at me all sweetly and romantically, and I just felt so uncomfortable. But it wasn't because I didn't like him." ---> Coworker: "You know that's normal, right?" Apparently romance repulsion sounds a lot like butterflies when you explain it out loud; I've found people are a lot more understanding when you emphasize the distinction. "I'm asexual, which means this. I'm also aromantic, which means this. They sort of go together for me, but not for everybody." ----> Response: "I don't think you need to box yourself up in labels like this." People are usually more accepting if you introduce the concept before the vocabulary. Explaining it to children: "Did you guys know some people never get a crush in their whole lives?" ---> Response: "What?! I didn't know that!" I like to use this "fun fact" as a way of introducing the concept to pretty much anyone. Depending on the response, I'll usually add, "Btw I'm one of those people." Wearing aromantic pride flair sometimes garners questions, at which point a mini-lesson on aromanticism is usually welcome. I've had several people thank me for introducing them to the topic for different reasons. Some people just won't get it, and that's okay. Some people won't have any idea how to respond, and so they'll change the subject. That's okay too. So long as you don't let these people's views on aromanticism drag you down. You're not crazy and you're not the only one. But you know that already because you're here. ☺️
  4. Naegleria fowleri

    Awesome Things About Being Arospec

    A lot of people murder each other over romantic love... so I'm thankful for my increased life expectancy 😁 Also glad I don't have to pressure myself into looking pretty all the time in case I "meet someone".
  5. Naegleria fowleri

    Aromanticism effect on social skills

    Slightly disappointed no-one's voted for "what skills" yet 😄
  6. I've never thought about best friendship this way, but I could see it. If there were a platonic extension to amatonormativity, qpr's and best friendships would probably fit. I basically grew up in that kind of relationship though (awesome single mom, no siblings, you know how it be) and it is something I like. However, I also kind of admire the kind of relationship everyone has on the TV show Friends (minus the romantic tension) where you have a gaggle of people who all share their lives together. Interesting topic, thanks for bringing it up.
  7. Woooo we've hit 1,000 members!!!

    1. aro_elise

      aro_elise

      not anymore lol

  8. Naegleria fowleri

    Writing Thread

    Wow... I really like this. How long does something like that take to write?
  9. Naegleria fowleri

    aro in a romantic relationship...

    So... being guilted into things that make you uncomfortable is not a healthy relationship. There's a difference between, say, saving your partner the last cookie out of love even though you really wanted it, and forcing yourself to shove down a fight or flight reaction to please your partner. A lot of us have felt these feelings you're having when trapped in a romantic situation, and we call it romance repulsion. You feel repulsed, but it's not the person who's repulsive, it's the romance. Does that sound right? When I first discovered I was aromantic, I found it difficult to put into words what I was feeling. You feel like you're explaining it properly, because you have all of this inside knowledge, but to people who have no concept of any of this, it just... doesn't always translate. You know? "Discomfort" sounds like "butterflies"; "I don't like kissing" sounds like "You're not a good kisser" and so on. It becomes a lot easier to defend your feelings once you wrap your head around the idea that you're never obligated to love somebody. Not only that, but that non-romantic love is just as valuable as romantic love. Good. You hold on to that.
  10. I find this to be a very intriguing question too, and I didn't fill out the poll because what I really want to say is... both? Like, I don't think there was a time where I was ever romantic. But perhaps some of us are born more susceptible to becoming one thing or another, and our environment can sway in a certain direction. I've often wondered, if I'd grown up with two parents who loved each other romantically and all that stereotypical stuff, would I have ended up romantic? Maybe. Although I believe in another topic we were talking about orientations of family members, and some people did have highly romantic parents. So I dunno. I'd love it if some scientists could crack down on some research though.
  11. Naegleria fowleri

    Share your Talents!

    I have a knack for making sculptures out of pipe cleaners. It seems to really impress people. The pictures rotated themselves when I pasted them, and I couldn't get them to go back so I guess just turn your head 90 degrees to the left! Simple Dragonfly Rose Lil' Squeakers Cat Crocodile I don't use glue or anything, and all the parts are moveable, so you can open and close the jaw, and make the legs longer or shorter, take out an eye, etc. I'm also pretty good at studying, video games, writing stories and guitar.
  12. Naegleria fowleri

    Aromantism and Marriage

    Your description of marriage certainly sounds aromantic! Really, all aromantic means is lacking romantic attraction. It takes some time and soul searching to pinpoint what "romantic attraction" means and whether or not you've felt it. I think of romantic attraction as a driving force connected to a specific person that makes you want to do romantic stuff with them. So, it's more than just liking romantic stuff, and it's more than just deciding someone would be a good candidate to do romantic stuff with. That being said, marriage doesn't necessarily have to be romantic. Closeness isn't necessarily romantic either. I am firmly aromantic, and I would definitely be open to a best friends marriage (although I perceive marriage to be kind of a prison so I would probably have a common law partnership instead 😁).
  13. So I got this bold idea to email my favourite author, Jodi Picoult, to ask her if she would be willing to write an aromantic character in one of her future books. I got a maybe! Essentially she said if an aromantic character fits organically into the plot of one of her books she would consider it, but she wouldn't want to shoehorn one in just to make a statement. Which is totally fair. Anyway if this ever does happen it would be huge for us because not only is Jodi a master of her craft, she's also famous. Just wanted to share!

  14. Naegleria fowleri

    How various sexualities view aro

    You should totally be allowed to share important epiphanies about your life with your friends without feeling guilty. As people mentioned above, the reaction you got was probably more of a confused silence than a grudging one. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this. I get that many people can't really wrap their heads around the idea of someone never having romo feelings, but when you make an aro joke or reference or comment and receive no reaction you just feel selfish for even bringing it up. Like, we get it, you're aro. Quit bringing it up already. It makes it hard to share things that are on my mind anywhere other than here, and I'm a pretty share-y person! Anyway, whenever something's peeving me about being aromantic and I can't share it, I usually start trying to write a song. Which is ironic, considering young teenaged me was "waiting for a relationship so I could start writing real songs". How the turn tables
  15. Naegleria fowleri

    Not a frigid spinster?!

    Hey, welcome! What do you do for a living? I'm curious.
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