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About ladyasym

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  1. #AromanticProblems

    Trying to hang out with friends on the one day I'm back in town (after moving 6000km away), and they all have dates. So I guess I'm just going to...see no one and go out by myself? #aromanticproblems
  2. Do most people want to come out?

    I can't seem to attach an image, but it's a small circle on my left middle finger. Simple, but super cute.
  3. Is there anyone else who has family members with similar sexual/romantic orientations? After I told my parents that I was aro (and what aromanticism was), they both think they're aro-spec, and I have at least one grey-ace sibling (the other two haven't shown any kind of preference/non-preference yet). *also I use queer just as a general term for 'outside the cis-alloro-het norm', I'm sorry if it offends or excludes anyone.
  4. I think it's a great article for spreading awareness, but agree with others in that the definition for aromanticism is a bit wishy-washy, especially since the predominant thought was 'aromantics experience very little romantic attraction'. I think that gives the impression that aromantics themselves 'could be convinced in romantic love' as it leaves a little bit of wiggle room, so to speak. I think it might have been more accurate to say something like: Aromantic people do not experience romantic attraction, and it exists as a spectrum where others might only experience romantic attraction occasionally, or in certain situations. I think it really comes down to semantics, and what sentence fit best in a restricted word count. As well, I think a looser definition might just be more appealing to alloromantic people who want to see the possibility in love 'finding a way' (like Jurassic Park, but less fun).
  5. How old are you?

    I'm currently 24, but looking forward to being 25! Gonna go off on a bit of a tangent, but I've always felt that 25 is kind of the best age. It's a great number, a quarter of a century. I feel like people take you more seriously after you turn 25. But that might have to do with FINALLY being able to rent a car without paying an underage premium.
  6. For me personally, physical touch (even romantically coded stuff like kissing, hand holding, etc) is never romantic, and strictly sensual/sexual - a physical display of platonic affection, sensual pleasure, or sexual attraction. I just don't feel like its a romantic activity for me - although I can understand why it can be interpreted as such. I only get weirded out if someone makes it romantic - like saying 'there's no one else I'd rather be here doing this (ie kissing) with'. Then I get uncomfortable. Also, I would get bored kissing my ex if it seemed more romantic than sensual/sexual. Otherwise though, it's just all in good fun for me - and often, kissing someone is how I tell if there's sexual attraction or not. It's really hard to explain - but it makes sense why past sexual partners felt uncomfortable with prolonged kissing. They interpreted it as romantic, and for me, it was just nice.
  7. ever been on a date without knowing?

    Ha! Funny story about this. I asked a cool guy (looking back, he was a squish...) that I was just starting to be friends with if he wanted to go check out an art gallery with me. I was just being friendly - he thought it was a date. We became really good friends, and eventually started dating. He would always refer to that day at the art gallery our first date and I would just kind of laugh awkwardly and say that at the time, I was just wanting to be friends. If only I had known about aromanticism, lol...
  8. You might be aro if...

    YMBAI you look for aro-characters in every single TV show or movie you watch. (Where is the representation?!?)
  9. I'd rather ... than get Married

    OH I SEE Hahahaha. It's still not good to wash things directly in water sources, but yes, there's plenty of water to do such things. Personally, I'm a fan of the dirting-bowl method, where you rub dirt and pine needles in your dish to get all the stickiness/food remnants out, burn the dirt, and rinse the bowl. It works really well and I did that all summer, but I am canoe-trippertrash... On that note... I would rather drink fish-egg water treated with bleach than get married.
  10. Ex'es why can't they be friends?

    I think that there is definitely a 'normal expectation' that you should hate or discontinue any kind of friendly relationship with an ex. In my opinion, it stems as a kind of 'cultural touchstone' - a relatable experience that is used as a joke in movies, or to bond with someone else 'Ugh, exes, amirite??'. So to some extent, I think there is some kind of social pressure to break all ties with an ex - even if it was an amicable breakup. I also think that many alloromantic people have strange beliefs about relationships, and they don't really know how to have them - they kinda just bumble around and read articles and search google for answers on how to be a better romantic person. If a relationship - even just a distant, friendly one is even the slightest bit toxic or unhealthy, then it should definitely be broken off. I do not have any contact with two of my exes for that reason (and unfriended a longish-term friend-with-benefits when our relationship got too weird and stressful). I am still friends with my most recent ex however, and I think that's primarily because we were very good friends before we started dating. Unfortunately, our platonic relationship will probably never be the way it once was, because too much has happened in the meantime. He is a /very/ romantic person, and I feel a need to keep some physical/emotional distance between us, because he has a tendency to slip back into romantic love at the slightest provocation, and any encouragement (no matter how platonically-intended) could really hurt him, and our friendship. I think it comes down to knowing your ex, and knowing if/when you become a toxic presence in their life (even if you don't mean to), and how to (gently) remove yourself from their life to avoid any harm. It sucks to not have that same closeness with someone, and it really sucks to have to pull away if its in their best interests (but contrary to your own feelings). But to me, this is way more preferable to actively remaining a painful presence in someone's life.
  11. I'd rather ... than get Married

    It's all good, I know about the Appalachian Trail. And no way dude! Leave no trace - unless you straight up just go swimming, washing in water sources just contaminates the water for others. There's showers in towns though. I'm hoping to hike the PCT in a couple years actually.
  12. You might be aro if...

    YMBAI you feel nothing but relief (and guilt at being relieved) when you end a romantic-type relationship. And don't feel anything but happiness for them when an ex tells you about someone they're currently dating. (Also, having to reassure said ex more than once that you're fine hearing about it, and no, it's not weird.)
  13. Five Love Languages

    This is actually the best quality quiz that I've seen on the subject. When I was hiking with a good friend of mine, we talked about love languages a lot - it's interesting, and I find that it certainly helps to understand the different ways people give and receive love. My Scores: Physical Touch - 11 Quality Time - 9 Acts of Service - 5 Words of Affirmation - 5 Receiving Gifts - 0
  14. I'd rather ... than get Married

    I would rather hike a long trail and live in the dirt for 6+ months than get married.
  15. Common Misconceptions About Aros

    That would make sense - her romantic relationship with her husband was very public and well-known, especially after he died. Marrying for status/wealth was more culturally-accepted at the time too though. Perhaps it had more to do with cinema idealizing on-screen romances, and from there, love, romance, and finding 'the one' became more of a socio-cultural norm?