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DavidMS703

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Everything posted by DavidMS703

  1. I think what would help most is trying to find people who are either aromantic or poly. I kind of feel like my family and counselors I have talked to sometimes seem to think just finding more people who belong to romantic couples to be friends with would solve all my problems, like they don't get that whether or not the other person is in a monogamous romantic relationship makes a difference in what I can get out of a relationship.
  2. I do still feel hope. I think what would be best for me is to have a zucchini (or a few of them) who are also aromantic, but I'm not even sure how to meet other aromantics. I find one thing that helps me is YouTube personalities who sort of seem like friends even though they don't actually know me, and I have good communities of people online, just not offline currently. I also go to a pretty small community college; I think I'll be at a bigger college next year though I'm not sure how much difference that will make.
  3. Does anyone else feel like they can't really form meaningful connections with other people? I feel like that's a big issue for me, in large part because most of the people I've gotten along with best have romantic relationships that are their top priority and that limits how close I can get to them without it being seen as an "emotional affair" or something of the sort, as well as because I don't feel that well understood by people who aren't different from what's seen as the norm in terms of romanticism/sexuality. I've felt especially isolated this semester and am sort of feeling like it's not likely to get that much better ever.
  4. I don't really know of that many possible aromantic speakers, but one person I feel should definitely be invited is Connie Glynn, who is aromantic bisexual. She's not a person of color, but she has improved aromantic visibility a significant amount and I really look up to her for being so successful at so many things and having her life put together as well as it is. I also know she is a great communicator who I feel would really have something to add to this event. There are a few lesser-known aromantic people of color I know of on YouTube, including The Asexual Goddess, Iris Padilla (I think), and Eva Abidin (but it might be hard for her to get to NYC since she lives all the way in Brunei). They have all made videos discussing being aromantic, which are linked if you click their names.
  5. They didn't really say much about the events but they did say everyone on either spectrum is welcome. Maybe they'll get some allosexual aromantics to be part of it. Also, other than the logos of the organizations organizing it, there is also only one purple word. So I don't think we should assume yet that it's not designed for us, because they definitely want us to be welcome there. If we find out that all the events are more about asexuality then that will be different but we don't know anything about the events or speakers yet.
  6. I feel the same way. I would really like either a best friend or zucchini, because I find it hard to have friends in this society that puts such high priority on romance and I want someone who will be there for me and not treat me as less important than a romantic partner.
  7. I think if there were other ways to get the same benefits that were just as easy to get, that would make a difference. Marriage could also just be a symbolic thing that people get, like the state just recognizing that people have one because it will make those people happier but not giving them any rewards for it that are systematically denied to anyone not married, if people would be more open to that than not having the government be involved at all. I like Elizabeth Brake's ideas that people should be able to license non-marriage relationships in the same way for types of benefits that can only be given to multiple people such as including someone else on your health insurance.
  8. I think you're right that it is important to a lot of people. I don't really think it needs to be abolished, I mainly think all the discrimination against people who don't choose it should be abolished and that if marriage can be licensed then you should be able to license other types of relationships too and get the same benefits for it.
  9. I actually like that idea Crou. I think the institution of marriage the way it is is discriminatory and even if I end up having one friend who is closer to me than anyone else I don't want any relationship of mine to be labelled as a marriage, officially or not, for several reasons. For one thing, I've heard a story where a man is given two loaves of bread. He meets two poor men who need food and gives a whole loaf to the first one but only a half to the second, then feels bad about it and goes back and gives him the other half. I feel like, like the man in this story, I don't want to have to give less of something, in this case the things I share with the people closest to me, to a second equally deserving person just because of what I give the first one which is basically what the institution of marriage would compel me to do. I also feel like the general attitude in our society is that you should protect a marriage at all cost no matter how it hurts other relationships, and I don't want to give one relationship the power to prevent me from having other good relationships. And also, marriage records are public documents, which means if I were to get legally married and was involved in spreading aromantic visibility, I feel like someone could dig the record up and publicize it to invalidate me so I would be silenced if people assume that marriages are inherently romantic. However, if the system were reformed so we could have different kinds of legal contracts for different relationships with no number limit or package-deal assumptions, I would probably want something like that to get the type of benefits currently reserved for married people without the negatives I just described.
  10. I'd be fine with that. I think people should be able to have whatever types of relationships they want without a license, and marriage as a government-licensed institution discriminates against people who don't have just one most important person and basically makes it legal for the government and employers to discriminate against people just for not wanting to be married.
  11. I'm taking this, but I think the name of this topic should be changed because love and romance aren't the same thing and it seems like what it really is is a survey about romance.
  12. I forgot to post yesterday, but I think my favorite aesthetic is the combination of dark blue and light gray. I find that aesthetic relaxing and also familiar since the combination of blue seats and carpeting and other things that are light gray is common in places and vehicles where I've been. And for today, I think some of my favorite memories with family are trips I've been on with them, to different parts of the U. S., Canada, and Italy. These have been fun experiences that we were able to enjoy together.
  13. I think what I love most about my family is just that they have been there for me and been relatively supportive as I've been figuring myself and my life out. I know there are some families that would still be continuing to tell me I wasn't really aromantic and should be looking for a romantic relationship, so I'm glad to have a family that supports me and treats me as valid even if it did take them some time to get there.
  14. I find it hard to pick one movie. I like a lot of Hitchcock movies, some I can think of right now are North by Northwest and Vertigo. Those movies have interesting stuff happening throughout with lots of plot twists. I also like a lot of Studio Ghibli movies such as Spirited Away which also have really interesting stories as well as great animation. And one I think I should definitely mention is the Disney/Pixar movie Brave because of it's seemingly aromantic protagonist who (Spoiler alert!) basically manages to fix the system that was trying to force her to get married and gets to live the way she wants to. Given all the amatonormativity in lots of movies, I think it's great that a movie like that was made with a protagonist who has no interest in romance or marriage and actually fights for the right not to marry.
  15. I like a lot of different shows, but a lot of my favorites are detective and cop shows. I really like the detective shows Monk and Columbo, and also The Wire. I find the mysteries interesting as well as watching how the two sides try to win against each other.
  16. I don't have so much a preferred type of music as liking individual songs, but I think a lot of what I like is modern pop, though that might be mainly because it's what I've heard the most of on the radio. I think my favorite individual song is Heart Eater by Connie Glynn, because it describes so well feelings of inadequacy that are a lot like what I felt before I knew I was aromantic, and it's also just beautifully done.
  17. I love being with friends or family mainly because I feel more supported and less alone with them. I enjoy doing fun activities with them as well as just talking to them.
  18. I really like Hershey's nuggets and also Lindor chocolate truffles. Those just have nice flavor combinations and their size makes them easy to eat for a snack.
  19. I don't have that many friends, but I have a few who are very supportive of the way I am. I think their support for me the way I am is what I appreciate most, especially in this world where so many people don't understand me and a significant number would consider me broken for not having romantic feelings.
  20. I think my favorite animal is my pet dog. In general I really like dogs and cats because they are the type of animal I can actually interact with which makes them better company for me than most other animals.
  21. It's hard to pick one favorite food because there are so many things I like. I like seafood and lots of seafood dishes, also lots of Asian food, especially noodle dishes. I don't really have a specific reason, I just like the taste and texture of those things.
  22. My favorite colors are blue and green. Blue is a nice relaxing color associated with the sky and ocean, and green is a beautiful color associated with nature and the pride color most associated with being aromantic.
  23. It's basically just a way of liking someone and feeling like you want to be closer to them, but without the desire to do anything romantic. It's usually based mostly on their personality, though you can be predisposed to get squishes mainly toward one gender. In my case it usually involves a desire to hug them as well but I don't think that's the case for everyone.
  24. There is a Facebook group called Aromantic Talk. It mainly works by someone posting something and others can comment on it. I don't think it's really a chat but maybe a chat could be created in it.
  25. That's definitely possible. I'm pretty sure I'm not totally asexual, but I'm really not interested in kissing, at least not on the mouth, for any reason. And don't feel like you have to tolerate anything that makes you uncomfortable. There are definitely people who feel the same way as you. There are whole cultures where kissing is uncommon and even that view it negatively (Source: http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/article/some-culturally-based-differences-sexual-activity), which I think shows that kissing doesn't have to be a part of sex.
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