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About DavidMS703

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  • Birthday 09/19/1998

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  • Name
  • Gender
  • Location
    Ithaca, NY
  • Romanticism
  • Sexuality
    demi, hetero probably

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  1. You can have a gender preference and still be aro. I tend to be more interested in making friends with girls and I don't want to be romantic with anyone. This may help understand the difference between preferring a certain gender and romantic feelings: maybe you are more interested in having a cat than a dog, and that probably doesn't mean you are romantically interested in cats. Or maybe you are more interested in having a dog than a cat, and that probably doesn't mean you are romantically interested in dogs. So it's basically the same way with being more interested in developing a platonic relationship with one gender than with the other and it doesn't mean you can't be aro.
  2. DavidMS703


    I think a lot of people could benefit from knowing that aromanticism is a thing. There may be more aromantics who don't know it's a thing than anyone realizes. Also, with the type of assignment that Boston College and two colleges in South Korea have, I think it's about time more people find out we exist. I'm taking a public speaking class in the fall so I plan to start speaking about it then.
  3. DavidMS703

    Alloromantic Fragility

    I can see where you're coming from, but I do think my sister felt like the narrative she grew up with and still believes, that romance is basically a universal human thing, was threatened by any movement we might start to fight against amatonormativity. I feel like alloromantics do have the majority of the power to control the media, which is why most of us grow up believing that romance is for everyone and we will have a romantic relationship someday that will be the most important relationship of our life. You mentioned straight men being afraid of being seen as feminine or gay, but I don't think most white people are afraid of being seen as black; they are more afraid of having their narrative about the Dream and its accessibility being challenged by counter stories from members of other races. I feel like any group that puts out a dominant narrative can have fragility if they feel like the narrative their group is putting out and they feel is the "truth" is being challenged by someone they don't understand as well.
  4. DavidMS703

    Alloromantic Fragility

    Hi all. So I learned about the concept of White Fragility at school. This is a basic description of it: I found online that there is a similar thing called Straight Fragility, which is basically the same but about sexual orientation. And recently, I was talking with my family about the movie "The Dating Project," based on Boston College professor Kerry Cronin's dating assignment. I haven't seen the movie, but I've read articles about it and a discussion guide I found online. And the discussion guide says that Shanzi, one of the people in the movie, said that everyone secretly wants to date and just doesn't want to admit it. I mentioned this and my sister said in a defensive way that she probably just meant most people, or everyone who is "normal" or not aromantic. I know she said everyone and meant it. Does anyone else have experiences with responses like this, which are what I think should be called Alloromantic Fragility?
  5. I'm taking a speech class in the fall, so I'm thinking of making some kind of speech there that will help improve our visibility, probably also talking about how it's become a thing for schools to assign students to date. I've been working with my former sociology professor on ideas for how we can become more visible.
  6. I love hugs and cuddling if it's with the right people. I said sometimes for kisses because I'm fine with little kisses but not on my mouth, and I'll give little kisses on the head to people I cuddle with.
  7. DavidMS703


    Hi Jess. I'm David. I also love cats as well as dogs and like music of all genres. Welcome to the aro community.
  8. DavidMS703

    Boston College Professor

    Just to let people know, I emailed this professor, and got an update that's very different from what I thought about her. She has had good conversations with students who identify as aromantic, which means she is aware of us, and she gives students lots of extra credit options that they can only choose up to 4 or 5 of, which means it doesn't hurt them not to choose the dating one. With this information I don't think we should keep trying to get her fired, but I still hope to help us become more visible. Also, I don't think this has been mentioned on here either, but there's a new movie about the assignment, and I have no reason to believe that mentions us at all, and if it doesn't the assignment could still be brought somewhere else in a way that is harmful to us. But the professor who created it knows about and supports us.
  9. DavidMS703

    Boston College Professor

    If anyone wants this to stop, you're welcome to sign and share this to at least get us some visibility: https://www.change.org/p/boston-college-fire-the-professor-known-for-making-students-date?recruiter=665024078&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink&utm_campaign=share_petition&utm_term=triggered
  10. DavidMS703

    Boston College Professor

    One thing she said in the assignment guidelines was that it had to be someone of "legitimate romantic interest." That thing she said about not everyone being drawn to romantic relationships was definitely inconsistent with what she actually seems to think about her students based on those assignment guidelines. Has it ever occurred to her that not everyone has "legitimate romantic interest" in anyone? If assignments like this become widespread, especially if they are mandatory, it could become a form of systematic oppression against us and force most of us to accept the crappier jobs due to not being able to obtain a college degree.
  11. DavidMS703

    Boston College Professor

    Has anyone heard about the Boston College professor who assigns her students dating? I find it hard to believe a professor actually does that, or that the school hasn't fired her for it. What do other people think of that situation?
  12. I felt like we deserved our own article on Wikipedia, so I started developing one which is still a stub that needs sources and more information: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aromanticism Someone has nominated this article for deletion, and there is a discussion page linked to from the notice about that. I posted an argument that I think will help but if anyone else can help it would be nice to have someone expand and add sources to the article. (I don't really know how to cite sources in Wikipedia.) It would also be nice if more people could write arguments against deleting the article on the discussion page about the proposed deletion. If anyone here edits Wikipedia, it would be nice if someone could help with that.
  13. DavidMS703

    Where are you from?

    I'm in Ithaca, NY. It's hard to find people here and it gets lonely.
  14. Hi. I'm in college now at my local community college. I think there are about 4,000 students there. Does anyone have any idea how many aromantics a school that size is likely to include, or how I can figure out who they are? I find it harder to develop friendships/relationships with non-aro people because of their interest in stuff I'm really not into.
  15. DavidMS703

    Count to one million 🐭