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About DavidMS703

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  • Birthday 09/19/1998

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Ithaca, NY
  • Romanticism
  • Sexuality
    heterosexual, possibly gray-ace

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  1. What kind of college is this? I go to a public state university (SUNY Cortland) and I feel accepted by pretty much everyone I know there. I went to a community college before, where I was given stress questionnaires in a couple of my classes that seemed biased in favor of alloromantics, and this was in my first semester when I wasn't quite as open with my identity as I am now. Have you taken a sociology class? I found sociology class to be what really helped me as this class talked about all kinds of social issues including the pressure to be in a romantic relationship. I would definitely recommend taking a sociology class if you haven't already.
  2. Hair follicle - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hair_follicle
  3. I don't think anything you've said indicates that this is necessarily romantic. I have a friend who I find really cute and think about a lot, but I'm pretty sure my feelings for her aren't the same as the way I've heard romantic attraction described.
  4. Hi everyone. So I've had this friend for about a month. She seems to enjoy my company much more than anyone else I know. She seems to be as much of a loner as me and we've started hanging out for at least an hour a day while we wait for class to start. She knows I identify as aromantic, and she's pansexual and I usually get the impression she would much rather play video games than go out with someone romantically. I have a very strong squish on her, but I'm not sure if she even knows what a squish is and I'm a little afraid that telling her I have any kind of feelings for her could make things weird between us. Today we were talking about a plan we have, and her mom asked if she was going to be alone and she said she would be with a friend. She clarified that it wasn't a date because I'm aromantic and that we're "just friends." However, I feel like she would be the best possible zucchini for me and I'm not sure how to tell her that but I'm also worried that if I don't tell her for too long that I feel anything stronger than what "just friends" means to most people it could make it harder to become zucchinis. Does anyone have any advice about the best way to handle this situation?
  5. I'd recommend Connie Glynn; she is aromantic and has a few videos about it as well as lots of other videos. For more videos about aromanticism I'd recommend The Asexual Goddess.
  6. @EmeraldI would recommend Connie Glynn for what I think is the best ever video explaining aromanticism, and I like her personality so much that she became my favorite YouTuber ever pretty quickly after I watched that video and decided to check out more of her content.
  7. You're not too young; I knew at 15 that I didn't want a romantic relationship, though it took until 17 to discover the term. And I haven't tried it either but I know I don't want to, the same way most people know they don't want to kiss a pig without ever doing it. If you feel like you identify as aromantic then that's totally valid. And don't listen to spellcheck because spellcheck is a bigot.
  8. @DogObsessedLianne One good title I know of is The Black Veins by Ashia Monet. Aromanticism isn't explicitly mentioned in this book, but Ashia says it will be later in the series and the book focuses mostly on friendship.
  9. It's entirely your choice, but I've found that people don't usually seem to notice my scars, or at least don't say much about them. I kept them covered up for close to three years, and it took Connie Glynn opening up on YouTube about her mental health including self-harm for me to start feeling more comfortable not covering them up all the time.
  10. I can relate to this. I've considered myself gray-ace for a while because sex isn't the most important thing to me and I'm really not interested in a lot of sexual activities, but I do feel like I would like a sexual relationship that isn't romantic and don't know how to get that in a way that won't hurt anyone, and I'm not really comfortable doing hookups with people I don't know at all.
  11. If you don't feel sexual or romantic attraction then you can definitely identify as aromantic and asexual. It's not always possible to know why you feel the way you do, but orientations are about feelings and are valid whatever your reason is for feeling or not feeling something toward certain genders or anyone.
  12. Hello fellow aros! Just wanted to let you all know there's a new book coming out today by aromantic author Ashia Monet. The book features aro-spec characters and no romance arc. It's a YA novel about a found family of magicians who go on a road trip to save the world. The title is The Black Veins, it's the first in the Dead Magic series, and you can buy it here: https://theblackveins.carrd.co/
  13. I feel this way a lot. I get the feeling that most people around me are going to want to be with their partners most of the time as I get older and I'll be less able to be close to anyone as a result.
  14. @Coyote Those are all good points. I did mean people who would identify with the label and aromantic community if they knew about it. We can't determine which individuals that would be, and therefore shouldn't call individuals something they don't call themselves, but I think most aromantic people, once they identify as such, believe that they were aromantic before realizing it. I definitely believe I was. And I agree that knowledge of the concept alone, without the message that it's okay to be aromantic, isn't enough. Just like children can grow up with parents who think homosexuality is morally wrong, and their parents can tell them that but it won't make them feel like it's normal and okay if they start developing same-sex attraction. However, the topic here is about if we should be promoting visibility. I think pretty much everyone on this site, if they were to spread aromantic visibility, would do so in a positive way that sends the message it's okay to identify as aromantic.
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