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Apathetic Echidna

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Everything posted by Apathetic Echidna

  1. Can I ask what a flamel is? The only thing I know it as is Nicholas Flamel.... I have earrings (just the boring standard kind), but I can't wear hoops because I got them done with a gun when I was 12 or something and one of the holes is crooked....which makes hoops look weird. I really wanted a labret or a vertical labret but it just never seemed to come together (as I need permission from my doctor, or I was going overseas, or my work wouldn't allow facial piercings, or I freaked out when a friend's cheek piercing became infected, and then the piercing parlour I wanted to use closed down....) I will eventually get one....maybe
  2. No more humans/people Ishtar!
  3. I really need to check back here more often.... Okay, maybe it is because I am spending time in A-spec centred spaces but MOGAI as it has been used semi-recently seemed to exclude ace and aro. So I have been hearing it as 'anything that isn't L, G, B, T or A'. MOGAI covering queer, spectrum terms, and microlabels. But yes, I should have been clearer when I wrote my comment before.
  4. I think quite a few of the labels in the glossaries were created as linguistic exercises (so the people who might use them are hypothetical to the label creator) or the simple need for questioning people to get their most specific idea across, which has led to many terms that are variations on a theme. Questioning people can sometimes be laser focused. I know that I had to find something super specific before I was willing to relax more into greysexual. I know I said it somewhere before but Cupioromantic is used by a few people for a while before they get a better understanding of Aromantic possibilities (like not all aromantics are romance repulsed relationship haters*). I do agree with what @Lokiana says. I think people should feel free to adopt labels and let them go, but should not be told to do so by other people (those people who would declare things 'dated' or 'too small'). On another point I always thought 'MOGAI' was a warning in of itself. When something is 'micro' surely people realise that there probably aren't many people out there, let alone an active community. I think what needs more clarification is the diversity of the grey- umbrella and that MOGAI probably means there are labels out there that are same-same-but-different. Rather than letting labels 'die' in prompted obscurity it might be better to reform glossaries to a 'Major Labels' and a 'MOGAI Labels' section, with the MOGAI labels being a sort of ....use at your own risk of not finding a community specific to this thing. *yes, someone said to me not long ago: "Aromantic? that is where you hate everyone and want to be alone all your life."
  5. Yeah, this would come under specificity. People are less happy with having a broad/vague label. Maybe the internet has changed the dynamic and subject but I don't think it is new to this era. An example of it happening in the past would be people defining themselves by their home-town or state rather than their country, like the wonderful old lady I met when I was a kid: Someone asked her if she was from America and she said 'No. I'm from Texas'. "Texan" was much more important than "American" to her. @Coyote I couldn't find the link to support my hobby comment as it was from Tumblr, but basically someone was dissecting Latin and French usages to create a label and they ended the post with something like '..and now it is here I hope someone out there finds it useful' Some links: Here is the book, which has always been posted in the Shitposting category, and the description was always that it is a satire (however the author has had to put more warnings of its fictional content because people kept stealing their work and treating it as serious/public property (<which is specifically against the rules of the site)) https://www.wattpad.com/341462536-complete-list-of-genders-the-complete-list-of-all This is (one of the many) places flags are being churned out. They do requests, so there is some need, but it seems those are on hold while they try to document new flags for new labels. As you can see in the comments section they have gotten a lot of hate recently for making a gender flag for Autigender which was taken straight from JotaroKissesDolphin's satiric book. https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/ and maybe just have a look at some of the other flags they have given to already existing labels (pride-flags only does flags, they don't make the labels) https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Arogender-749624700 https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Vixengender-749229354 https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Nebulagender-748751971 (I think this one is legit pretty, but as art, not as a pride flag) https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Sodagender-751775285 https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Cake-Gender-Cakegender-751776538 https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Icecream-Gender-Icecreamgender-751776754 and those flags are all mixed in with bigender and lesbian and aromantic flags. *sarcasm*and don't you just love a gender that melts given the same attention as the trans flags*sarcasm* >>EDIT: Well from what you have replied to this comment I guess I was too close to the Hannibal fandom when it went nuclear to actually take anything food related seriously any more. For me it is a whole toxic zone.
  6. I'm one of the ones who doesn't have squishes. I'm friendly to people and if they are friendly back then we have a chance at friendship but I don't understand the 'want to be friends' draw people talk about. Friendships just happen with work, I don't have a particular target to aim at. And once you are friends with someone there is an investment, and so a drive to continue the friendship ~even when the friendship turns toxic it can be hard to break the bond.
  7. Getting to the root of the issue, could it just be that for some parts of the internet it has become normalised to make up words and flags. I know there are some 'pride' flags that are based off orientations created for a work of fiction that may or may not have anthropomorphic characters (I avoided reading it because if it isn't anthropomorphic then it is gonna be pseudo-bestiality, so I just wanted to avoid it). I know that in my own experience I rejected the asexual term because I couldn't connect with any experiences in the community back in 2007, and ultimately I think it is the experiences rather than the dry, simplified dictionary explanation which people use to find labels for themselves BUT when they can't find shared experiences they make something up. Maybe it all started because the communities started small and skewed towards people who felt most different/alienated. So the labels have sprouted like mushrooms as the communities move from being extreme-end to more mainstream as they embrace more varied people and experiences. Now people are just making up labels (and flags) because they find it an enjoyable hobby or something, and do it all on the expectation that someone out there 'might' need it because 3 or 5 or 10 years ago there was a need for different or broader terms. The best solution would be to pop the label and flag producing pimples on the internet and advocate the broader understandings of terms like grey- Seriously, I do think we already have all the labels we could possibly ever need, and even now many of them severely overlap. I say all of this, but even I use a microlabel sometimes. I have searched. Apparently only 2 people use it, me included. I have also seen 5 or 6 people questioning and thinking it might fit them only to be shut down (fairly brutally in some cases) but 'well-meaning' people trying to reduce the usage of microlabels. It is all a bit of a mess. If we could tuck it all under the carpet of grey- or aspec it would be much tidier, but people would have to search much harder to find shared experiences because there wouldn't be specific terms they could put in a search bar to pinpoint people who may be the same as them. (edit: I can give links later, if you want them)
  8. Did a bit of searching after you gave the name and yes. And I'm pretty sure the squish reveal is in part 2 of the trilogy of vids
  9. Is the concept of "attraction" useful to you? Yes, in both the sense of it's presence and it's absence. Most people have a basic vague understanding so it makes explaining aromanticism easier by just augmenting what they already think of attraction, so I find it useful descriptively too. What about the concept of "platonic attraction," in particular? Personally I don't find it useful to my own experience, and I don't think I understand what people mean by it as there seems to be lots of different usage and generalisations. So when others mention their platonic attraction I fill like all the sentences in my inner monologue of understanding all suddenly end in question marks. For you, what is the dividing line between a "feeling" and an "attraction"? (or whatever other word you want to contrast it against) So I am going to add in a third word because I think there are two ways of looking at this, but first: Feeling vs Attraction. I think feelings are centred within myself. Sure, feelings can be influenced by outside forces and change how I act but ultimately they are mine to deal with. I read a romance novel once and it had a sentence along the lines of 'I love you but that has nothing to do with you'. Attraction can cause feelings but ultimately the attraction is an external point of focus, and there is a lot more of a sense of losing yourself. The other word I want to use here is 'appreciation'. For me attraction can be strong, so I felt uncomfortable using a word that I felt was strong and had sexual connotations as I felt it misrepresented what I was trying to say. Then I stumbled upon a post on AVEN where someone was complaining of the overuse of the word 'attraction' and proposed 'appreciation'. I find this a particularly good word for trying to explain my experiences with aesthetic. You could say appreciation is just weak attraction, but I think it is the difference between walking down a hallway and liking the wallpaper compared to being entranced by a painting at the art gallery and spending 10 minutes staring at it.
  10. I would say yes, but as far as I know there is only one easily found example. I forgot the link, or the name of the vlogger.....but on youtube the 'ABC of LGBT' Asexual/Aromantic 3 part info videos, the host, who doesn't identify as aromantic, found the word squish helpful in describing experiences.
  11. a good comeback to that would be "yes and that is why you are the parent" Though I have friends and family in childcare/education and they deal with sometimes 70 kids at a time and seriously some of the poor things. Their parents should have just got a dog or a car rather than doing the stuff they do. Technically none of it is abuse (which at least is reportable), but the kids are going to have terrible teenage years because their parents have set them up for failure.
  12. My new name is Weird because I have done that before. Only a few times and mostly on AVEN.
  13. I basically never use that label for my sexuality unless it is deep discussion like this So far I have only found 1 other person who uses a variation of apres- Most other people mention it when questioning because it truly is a really broad concept behind that label, but I guess people move on to more common terms or more specific concepts. I know I mentioned it somewhere in the forums before, but it really all depends on your inner drive to be specific or not. Personally I thing grey- works really well for me most of the time. Most of the time though, not all of the time.
  14. I mostly hate ice-cream to, but this one is just pixels not dairy products!
  15. yeah, I know those feels. Then even when it is known you don't like young kids they expect you to act as if they are the best things. I end up saying things they find inappropriate as I try to find things to say that are not outright lies.
  16. hahaha no. I'm Aro and I don't have crushes or squishes or basically any unexplained fixation on anyone when I am not around them.
  17. I have no idea what purpose leaderboards have, but the points are connected to the content you make. So the more points the more content. So you can see who is more active by looking at points or something. I guess the next logical step after having points is that we have a leaderboard for them? The site has been having various glitches. I can't load it either and I am using Opera browser.
  18. Welcome! have some aro coloured virtual ice-cream Hope you find some interesting stuff here Your hobbies are interesting, but could you tell me what speedcubing is?
  19. Soooo....I am aromantic and greysexual, so not exactly what you are asking about but our general experiences seem to line up. One difference is I managed to find a specific micro-label for my kind of greysexual, but it is still part of the greysexual spectrum/umbrella. I wrote a post about it here: https://mesotablar.dreamwidth.org/3315.html but yes, 95% of the time there is no attraction working and that 5% is gobsmacking and uncontrolled. In the 95% of the time I'm fairly sure there is no attraction because I recognise aesthetic as it's own thing (like going to an art gallery, look but don't touch and don't take home), but it's possible?maybe that there is some low key attraction being vague and wisp-like in that 95% time but I don't care and it doesn't bother me.
  20. I had this issue with my supervisor, but it was more of a case of him being a shitty supervisor and being out of the country for more than half the year when I needed help in the lab. I guess it all depends on whether you need to use her to network for further study/a job or not. In these sorts of situation I hate the practice of networking and keeping connections because I just don't want -phobic or toxic people in my life BUT I have to be nice to these terrible people if I want a better job opportunity. Is there a supportive LGBT+ group at the school, or one that you are part of? they probably might know things you can do specific to your area, the laws or services available at your education place. Because you agreed to continue working with him I assume he has changed his behaviour? If he hasn't you should complain to her again to see if she does something different. Ultimately I don't think you can report someone on whether they believe you or not, but if their actions and solutions aren't working you should take your issues up with someone more senior in the hierarchy, either the provost or the department head or one of the student advocate officers, and say there is an issue of harassment that has been handled badly.
  21. I would like to say 'no-romo' in all it's many forms is aro culture. Also I argue that 'the friend zone' and it's dreaded enemy 'the romo zone' (and talking about them in those good and evil roles) are components of aro culture #noromo
  22. Print this out and use it as a cover for all the work you have to submit. I had to dig a bit because they have been buried but here are some article links from the forums that might give you a different perspective, and you could work some into your assignments. If your teacher gives you the proforma or criteria for marking and you address each section it has but with your own understanding of the question/topic then your teacher can't give you a bad score for not caring about love. (or if they do you can argue it as discrimination) http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/1375-article/ http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/1333-interesting-article/ http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/1269-not-everyone-kisses-interesting-article/ http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/892-half-the-worlds-cultures-never-kiss/ http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/1111-a-brief-history-of-romantic-love-and-why-it-kind-of-sucks/ http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/878-history-documentary-on-bedrooms/ http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/543-how-romanticism-ruined-love/
  23. I think understanding what is aro behaviour and what is not is very hard because most of it is really about internal intentions. Basically what she was feeling and interpreting things. I saw you had a good conversation in another topic with another member, so I hope that helped. But yeah, everyone is under a lot of pressure to act a certain way, and for undiscovered aros it is freaking confusing because there are so few examples of how to live that don't end up as partnering up. (It is also really confusing for basically anyone who doesn't find that is their ideal future, but generally they can still find some common understanding in the general idea of romantic partnering up) If you get along really well it is also possible that her motivations for dating (especially the second time) might have been fear of losing you as a friend. (maybe not, but it is just really really common for friends who want a romantic relationship to ghost us when we are honest)
  24. oh I feel your words. You shouldn't have to analyse anything because then you start double guessing and questioning things you never thought about before and it can completely undermine your self-esteem (I have a friend doing this right now and from a small issue it has grown and she now tortures herself over it. So don't let it grow) Basically that guy was a jerk to blame you for 'leading him on'. He never stated his intentions until that point so how were you to really understand? does he assume everyone can read his mind? BAH! I wouldn't say it is specific to aros...I have friends who go though periods of personal uncertainty in the event of jerks being jerks. I'm sorry your friendship was assassinated by him, and if this scenario is repeating itself for you I have one piece of advice: a good emotional defence is having an offence. Get offended when people ask you out. "What? You only hung out with me because of random brain chemistry imbalances you have?" or "Why are you ruining our friendship?" (Extra note: don't do this if they are semi-unstable or are trapping you physically with them in some way or alone in the middle of the night or if you are dependant on them for transport. Be safe)
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