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Apathetic Echidna

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About Apathetic Echidna

  • Rank
    Prickly Ball of Aro

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  • Gender
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  • Location
    The Antipodes
  • Romanticism
  • Sexuality
    Greyasexual of some form

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  1. Apathetic Echidna

    Marriage Abolition

    Did you also happen to catch the episode about pre-nuptial agreements? that episode was really enlightening as people were, individually and in their own personal ways, trying to sort out a partnership agreement then the lawyers in the audience turned around and said that pretty much all of those agreements could be destroyed in court and so weren't really worth the paper they were written on. I recently had a conversation with a friend about marriage (among other things) because she has now been living in the USA for a few years. The differences between marriage pros and cons (how the social sevices/tax department handle things and medical stuff especially), and the difference in marriage and defacto laws are vastly different between the two countries. It seems that (separate from religion) marriage means different things in every country. Not to mention all the really dodgy "marriage" practices like Nikah al-Mutah and Nikah al-Misyar which have all sorts of shady practices and weird uses. Basically I feel it should all be more inclusive. You should be able to legally register a marriage that includes multiple partners of any religion, race or gender. Religious ceremonies should be completely separate, not legally binding and also completely optional. Having a big day in a white dress will hopefully lose some sparkle if it legally means nothing and you still have to go to an appointment at a registry office to fill out the paperwork to make the marriage legal. .......Although having said that, Chinese couples have already divided the white dress ceremony from the actual legal binding by hyping up the event and having pre-wedding photos weeks or months before the event itself....and they are trying to expand the practice to South East Asia and America (probably Europe too)
  2. Apathetic Echidna

    Allow personals/dating requests?

    Just to make things super clear wouldn't it be better to change 'Visibility, Articles, and Meetups' to 'Visibility, Articles, and Events'? just so that forum stays focused on events
  3. @Joslyn wow, I can't believe I didn't find this sooner. You almost sound like me back in 2014. I am definitely aromantic and I felt a really strong attraction to a man but there was no sexual attraction involved, it was all sensual (his voice was amazing. voice=hearing=audio sensual=sensual attraction 😛) Because I knew my attraction had little to do with his looks I had a easy time classifying it (when I finally discovered the split attraction model). I know you posted a while ago, so hopefully you have things worked out now, but generally I like to think that when you fantasise about things that would make you feel uncomfortable in reality it is some sort of internalised amatonormativity. Our lives have been bombarded with it for so long our brains think those are the things we should want. As far as I know the best way to get rid of those thoughts is to test them out, you don't have to do everything of course, but test out some of the easier behaviours like a friendly hug to see if you would like it (or to prove to your brain that you do in fact find it uncomfortable, which then hopefully means your brain will stop giving you those fantasies)
  4. Apathetic Echidna

    Fitting xkcd cartoon

    hahaha ....though if someone had told teenage me that their favourite thing to fall asleep listening to was Eminem I probably would have reacted more ridiculously clingy than that (in a non-ironic way) 🎶 Teenages are (well at least I was) a mess
  5. Apathetic Echidna

    What is sold at an inconvenience store?

    Isn't that just a normal ziplock bag?
  6. Apathetic Echidna


    That is the exact reason my AVEN account is basically inactive. The aromantic forum there seems to have basically nothing to do with the aromantic experience...last time I looked at it it seemed to all be about relationship advice and 'label me' topics. Welcome! Arocalypse is fairly chill. I feel much more comfortable here so I hope you do to There are a lot of surveys and polls around at the moment but I'm sure you will find some interesting things if you dig in the forums
  7. Apathetic Echidna

    Do girls talk more about love/romantic attraction than boys?

    it might be interesting to know gender assigned at birth rather than gender orientation to discover if there is some early gender conditioning towards or against romance. I know that in one of the Scandinavian countries they now have kindergartens/early learning centres where the children are separated by gender and given oppositely-gender-stereotyped activities: girls learn to use hammers and boys do manicures on each other (there is a 'The Feed' episode on youtube about it somewhere if you are interested)
  8. Probably...but I can't help you out there I'm white cisfemale It just seems to me that on Arocalypse at least I seem to interact a lot with more males than females. I guess apart from the socialised lack of self-identification that you mention there could also be an aspect of the gender stereotype 'women are emotional and men are physical' that if they didn't experience revulsion to romance and just coasted through life neutral to it all they might think it is a part of their masculinity.....maybe. I was a bit conflicted at the stats lining up with other LGBT+ groups. I'm happy it is backed in data that underscores the legitimacy of our issues (yeah, in your face exclusionists!) buut it super sucks that it is happening. The fact that being asked out was ranked as more distressing than being physically harassed totally fits with my own perceptions. I wonder what reasons other people have for putting them that way, that would make some interesting reading, but it would most likely have to be qualitative not quantitative.
  9. Apathetic Echidna

    Asking a girl to be in a qpr. Advise

    Well, I'm certainly no expert but the basics would be making sure she knows all about what a QPR is so there are no misunderstandings when you ask her. Be open to answer any questions she has, especially how it might relate to your personal preferences (touch, repulsions, expectations of priority).
  10. Sadly I missed out on participating but it was a really interesting read. I sort of can't believe how large percentages of the participants were to white and cisfemale (I did kinda see the nonbinary/genderqueer and the youth overrepresentation coming though)
  11. Apathetic Echidna

    Allow personals/dating requests?

    The community isn't really that big........ so would the 'dates' be limited to romantic dates? I feel that if there was a topic pinned in the 'Visibility, Articles, and Meetups' it would allow people looking for specific kinds of conversations or meet ups to post and all further contact could/should be made privately. It might also clean up those topics of 'any aros living in ......?' that don't refer to a specific event. Warnings and such could go in the topic contents which would make them very visible.
  12. Apathetic Echidna


    Hello and welcome! Yes, pretty much all content is welcomed so posting a survey would be fine!
  13. Internalising of phobias that directly conflict with romantic orientation could also possibly represent as Aromanticism. You mention internalised Acephobia but you can also include internalised Homophobia or even possibly internalised Transphobia.
  14. Apathetic Echidna

    self love

    @DeltaV I meant everything light heartedly, I certainly didn't take anything you said in a bad way. I didn't realise pity was so unique. I think many people who express pity may truly believe they are expressing sympathy, well, I also know people who claim empathy but show no sign of it at all. So I guess a lot of English speakers mix them up. Objectively, pity is basically sympathy that focuses on the perceived lost ability or negative differences, for example this would be pity "I'm so sorry. It is such a shame you will never Insert appropriate social or physical activity eg. mountain climb/scuba dive/get married". The assumptions can be wrong or irrelevant, or they could throw in some supposedly positive comments like "at least you get the best parks at the supermarket" which puts you in the same category as the severely disabled and wheel chair bound. Pity is a offensive form of sympathy that makes the receiver feel bad or the comments are so wildly inaccurate that they have no connection to their life (which makes you realise how ignorant the person talking is). I hope that clears it up a bit for you. Though I still understand 'first-world problems' to be the hight of triviality and I just don't think that includes any mental health issues.
  15. I have sort of lost the count, but my maths works it out as day 9(?maybe?) Tough one to answer for me.....well as of right now, this week, it has to be Final Destination 5. I love it when movies are full of self referential Easter eggs, and as I just managed to find a copy to own I can now pause and rewind to my heart's content to try and find them all.