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Apathetic Echidna

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About Apathetic Echidna

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    Prickly Ball of Aro

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  • Location
    The Antipodes
  • Romanticism
  • Sexuality
    Greyasexual of some form

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  1. I would like to say 'no-romo' in all it's many forms is aro culture. Also I argue that 'the friend zone' and it's dreaded enemy 'the romo zone' (and talking about them in those good and evil roles) are components of aro culture #noromo
  2. Print this out and use it as a cover for all the work you have to submit. I had to dig a bit because they have been buried but here are some article links from the forums that might give you a different perspective, and you could work some into your assignments. If your teacher gives you the proforma or criteria for marking and you address each section it has but with your own understanding of the question/topic then your teacher can't give you a bad score for not caring about love. (or if they do you can argue it as discrimination) http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/1375-article/ http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/1333-interesting-article/ http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/1269-not-everyone-kisses-interesting-article/ http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/892-half-the-worlds-cultures-never-kiss/ http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/1111-a-brief-history-of-romantic-love-and-why-it-kind-of-sucks/ http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/878-history-documentary-on-bedrooms/ http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/543-how-romanticism-ruined-love/
  3. I think understanding what is aro behaviour and what is not is very hard because most of it is really about internal intentions. Basically what she was feeling and interpreting things. I saw you had a good conversation in another topic with another member, so I hope that helped. But yeah, everyone is under a lot of pressure to act a certain way, and for undiscovered aros it is freaking confusing because there are so few examples of how to live that don't end up as partnering up. (It is also really confusing for basically anyone who doesn't find that is their ideal future, but generally they can still find some common understanding in the general idea of romantic partnering up) If you get along really well it is also possible that her motivations for dating (especially the second time) might have been fear of losing you as a friend. (maybe not, but it is just really really common for friends who want a romantic relationship to ghost us when we are honest)
  4. oh I feel your words. You shouldn't have to analyse anything because then you start double guessing and questioning things you never thought about before and it can completely undermine your self-esteem (I have a friend doing this right now and from a small issue it has grown and she now tortures herself over it. So don't let it grow) Basically that guy was a jerk to blame you for 'leading him on'. He never stated his intentions until that point so how were you to really understand? does he assume everyone can read his mind? BAH! I wouldn't say it is specific to aros...I have friends who go though periods of personal uncertainty in the event of jerks being jerks. I'm sorry your friendship was assassinated by him, and if this scenario is repeating itself for you I have one piece of advice: a good emotional defence is having an offence. Get offended when people ask you out. "What? You only hung out with me because of random brain chemistry imbalances you have?" or "Why are you ruining our friendship?" (Extra note: don't do this if they are semi-unstable or are trapping you physically with them in some way or alone in the middle of the night or if you are dependant on them for transport. Be safe)
  5. @treepod oh yeah, that does sound complicated. but understandable now that you explain it that way. Maybe knowing about their repulsions (if they have them) might make you feel less conflicted? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ or at least then you will know where the landmines are so you know where not to step..
  6. oh yes yes! that is a very good one. and it could follow the um....now I'm blanking on the divisions, but one is 'word of god'? that denotes whether a character is assumed as representation because of actions or if the character is named either by the author or the character themselves.
  7. gah! I think I know what I want to say but it is so hard sorting it all out and finding the best place to start it
  8. I do find some things about romantic relationships odd, and I think the reason seeing those sorts of comments is so common is because generally online in a-spec spaces are the only places where we can vent or question without being shamed or harassed....sooo these places are totally biased towards complainers That is pretty common. Instances in reallife are not in statistics but seeing it's commonality in media lots of people buy into it as either an ideal fantasy or something they can relate to. It is troped as 'playing hard to get' and is basically the plot of all those Bad-Boy YA books, not to mention quite a lot of adult romance fiction, so you may think it is strange but it is not uncommon.
  9. So how would you break down 'allosexual aro' and 'ace aro' into categories or criteria? This seems overly reliant on the idea that all aros are either aro allo or aro ace. Some aros aren't. I said what I said because I don't think you can actually categorise those two as distinct things in media unless there is named representation. I would be happy to be proved wrong but for now it doesn't seem to apply anyway because it couldn't be done.
  10. I know it is discouraging when people react in a way that hurts but I would encourage you to come out to some of the other people you feel comfortable coming out to, especially if they are in a separate friend group than the friend you mentioned. Of course be safe and only come out when you are comfortable but other friends may surprise you with good reactions and restore your faith in humanity.
  11. I love oolong! Oolong and Jasmine are pretty much the only camellia sinensis tea I drink (though if I can get my hands on my mother's expensive white tea I do drink that too, I forget the name but it is amazingly creamy on the tongue) I have a range of other infusions and 'teas' that I drink because oolong isn't for all occasions (either herbs or rooibos) The oolong I am right into now is the Shui Hsien/Shui Xian/Narcissus which was presented to me by a tea matcher because I used to live near a fancy fancy Chinese tea shop.
  12. so for the criteria why don't we have scaling scores with extra notes? So in my example 0 is a good score for everything so we don't have conflicting score values. so 0 is none, or wide access and 10 is lots or hard to find/understand for example: Moana Romance Score: 0/10 Sex Score: 0/10 Violence Score: 3/10 (cartoon only, no blood) Access: 0/10 (Global distribution) Language: ?/10 English, wide variety of subtitles and dubs? Doe Moana even have dubs? I know about Frozen but not Moana Misogynist Score: 1/10 (women are strong in this movie) Diversity Score: Low (everyone is Polynesian, no recognisable disabilities and LGBT+ unknown) A-spec Creator: Unknown/Not Applicable Total: 4/60 Very good! but Low diversity if there is a site format somewhere where averages of votes can be taken it would incorporate many peoples views. Maybe an excel spreadsheet or something?
  13. You sound fairly aromantic to me, and even if you are still questioning and exploring the aromantic realm I do think maybe you should tell your therapist so they might look into the terms themselves. However there have been cases (some noted on here) where therapists insist on 'fixing' aromantics or are just generally rude and unhelpful. But if you have a good therapist you have a good relationship with then maybe letting them know about aromanticism might make them less concerned. I understand so much of what you are saying! but at this point, my personal solution to being with a best friend in a no-romo way is to have a dog and a flatmate. I am yet to get the dog, but I'm sure they shall be a far superior companion to the one who keeps stealing my dairy products and tuna.
  14. I feel the greatness of grey-romantic is because it is so vague, it can mean anything you need it to so that you don't have to define all the little quirks of your inner-self and experiences. It also means that other people won't have a specific idea of your circumstances, which is useful if you don't like sharing such personal information. However, on the flip side of that finding label you think fits your experience really closely possibly means you don't have to share such personal information because most of it is already ties into the known definition of the label. Basically it is how my geology teacher explained soil maps, some people are splitters and some people are groupers. Groupers are happy with a general idea of what is there, while splitters need to define every single little difference. I'm a splitter, and if you are too, then I know your pain at ambiguity. If you feel such changes in your experience maybe you will find the variable labels useful, like aro-flux and aro-spike.
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