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Apathetic Echidna

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About Apathetic Echidna

  • Rank
    Prickly Ball of Aro

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  • Gender
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  • Location
    The Antipodes
  • Romanticism
  • Sexuality
    Greyasexual of some form

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  1. Apathetic Echidna

    am i aromantic?

    😎 I have a feeling most people find it odd. I know some definite romantic people who dislike dating, but that is only because they want to skip the 'get to know' part and get to the 'fall in love' part....which personally seems stupid. I will agree with @DeltaV about you being on the spectum, though I think for any specifics you will have to dig into your experiences and check out the terms we use. But the general aromantic sensation of other people speaking a different social language that you don't have a dictionary for is a very common experience. I hope the meeting of the boyfriend isn't too uncomfortable for you! it might help to think of him as your sister's new best friend?
  2. Apathetic Echidna

    Harmful Romance Movie Tropes

    I think one of the most harmful tropes that is bad for everyone to buy into is the idea of relationship second (or more chances). People do bad things and then are forgiven because of love. Generally the bad thing is the conflict or drama of the story and then it gets wrapped up into a happy ending. Admittedly there are some shows and movies that don't follow this but they are seen as, I guess, more of a individual case specific to those circumstances while the second-chance-happily-ever-after movies use similar one liners like: Don't give up on the one you love. Everyone deserves a second chance. Don't turn your back on love. Forgiveness will free you. or the idea that to move on from a relationship you have to fall in love with someone else, so more a case of give the person a rebound relationship and expect them to forgive you and understand. Yeah, so basically the idea you have to have someone and that bad things should be forgiven in the name of love.
  3. Apathetic Echidna

    How various sexualities view aro

    I'm a bit late, and I don't really want to pull this way off topic, so I will try to pull it back as I see a way...sort of. I guess it was bad of me before to assume that Zodiacgender was related to the stars, as the Chinese zodiac is a year by year thing (though lunar year) augmented by the five elements. Most societies had their own naming for stars and constellations, generally with completely different meanings; Importance does vary as navigation and calender stars change depending where on the world you live. They are vague in that Aboriginal article because there are so many varieties and much information has been lost, but because of the tribal lands location and time of birth most 'zodiacs' are related to what crop is prevalent at the time (this is true for most central Australian groups, but I have no idea about the coastal or island ones). So I am a sweet yam baby, and it relates to when I am allowed to get married (basically it is a marker for a birthday).
  4. Apathetic Echidna


    She was the most confusing character for me but towards the end of season 2, wow, she can surprise. I seriously didn't presume to think she would even contemplate acting the way she did in the last few episodes. The work that 'cracked' pre-birth Serena for me was this one https://archiveofourown.org/works/13806678 but once the baby was there things definitely shifted with all the female characters. I sort of friendship-ship Serena and June but I know that all the earlier feelings will arise again now the baby is no longer between them as a bond. Though watching all the series 2 season final has forced me to re-evaluate other mother characters, specifically the characters in Grimm. I always thought they were a bit off or shallow but now I can't stand Adalind and I have no time for people who ship her. So one show has tainted me for another show with less believable characters and made me intolerant of it's shippers!
  5. Apathetic Echidna

    How various sexualities view aro

    I sort of feel bad because this made me giggle, but really that seems like some alchemy logic right there....and also very Eurocentric thinking (but that is just reflecting my own personal feelings about the non-acknowledgement of constellations recognised by other cultures) I'm sorry you are both getting that discrimination. I will probably avoid most of that simply because I am AFAB and most people, especially strangers don't seem to look beyond what they expect is between your legs. I have a feeling quite a few people think I am a closeted lesbian but won't bring it up.
  6. Apathetic Echidna

    How various sexualities view aro

    I probably wouldn't have minded so much if it happened like that, but the next time we spoke instead of intelligent questions all I got was unwanted information about her new boyfriend who came on the scene in the time between us talking (she lives far from me so we don't talk all that often, generally every few weeks when she isn't visiting her family who live near me). I guess it might just be a case of 'romantic interest brain' throwing out all information not directly related to the new partner or paid work skills, and sometimes even possibly those too are thrown out. As for your friend, ignoring stuff you have gone out of your way to provide? that seems worrying. Like there is some reason why he does not want to acknowledge you being aro. 😶
  7. Apathetic Echidna

    can aromantic people fall in love?

    I picked depends because I like to think that I have fallen in love with a series of books. My heart skips a beat when I see them. I want to take them everywhere with me (and for the past 2 weeks that has happened up to a point). I want them to be real and live in them and it would be amazing and why can't that happen? I know the plot of the series better than I remember my own primary school education. And it makes me happy just thinking about them, and thinking about the next time I have time to read the next few chapters. That makes me think, it is only 7 months until the next book comes out so I should do the trek to the book store and put my pre-order in. but if you mean romantic love based on romantic attraction, the kind of 2 year time limit chemical maelstrom that happens to most people when they date someone that some lizard-brain somewhere in their skulls approves of to share genetics with for the continuance of the species and so kicks off the afore mentioned chemical maelstrom, then no. I don't think we can love that way. 😜
  8. Apathetic Echidna

    Hey gang

    Welcome! We here are certainly not disinterested in talking about aro issues (even though things can be a bit slow to get opinions - I choose to blame timezones) Can I ask what sort of fanfic do you write? there are some posts about aro representation in literature and fanfiction so it is a good place to mention your work, or work you like D&D sounds cool, but my only exposure to it is descriptions of games in fanfic! 😂
  9. Apathetic Echidna

    How various sexualities view aro

    yes, this is definitely a hot topic even if it doesn't seem to be discussed all that much here. I think that is simply we are not really the ones who need to be unpicked, what we need is to get one of the silent ones to do an AMA or something! I sort of feel that sometimes the silence is them trying to be caring when their first gut reaction is something that would go on the aromantic bingo sheet. (Un)luckily for me one of my friend's reactions to me coming out was "I don't think that really exists" which means she didn't really care about my feelings in that moment, and I have had to re-evaluate our entire friendship (though her reaction wasn't really a surprise knowing the sort of sexist stuff she comes out with). However it can just be shock, such as the shock when you proclaim yourself to be part of a group (for example LGBT) then later find out there are whole other sections you have never heard about (for example: LGBTQIAP+). Which brings me to another friend's reaction to me coming out. I was sitting right next to her. right there. shoulders basically touching. and she goes "I'm going to google that". So me, a qualified aromantic card holder is ready and willing to engage in a Q&A session and she disappears into her phone to google my orientation. Like she needs independent knowledge from a blog so that we can have a conversation. Though.. all of this is my own supposition, my own conclusions from my friend's reactions. As I said before to really understand I think we need our friends to break their silence as to why they are silent. (Also my google friend still has not come round for a discussion with me as she is too wrapped up with her new boyfriend so I am definitely offended and hurt on that front)
  10. Apathetic Echidna

    Finding fellow aros in the real world?

    I know of an Ace group that met in my city and several people there were aro (I did find out about the meeting from members here who went, and I was more than 9 months too late to attend) so a sort of mixed bag of experience for me, but I have found that some people gravitate to each other as friends for reasons they may not realise. When I started coming out some of my friend came out back so far I am the only aromantic but I have friends who are demi and grey and one is now questioning because they never felt they fit in with most other people (hence their happy friendship with me) but they had never heard of orientation frameworks that would help them describe themselves.
  11. Apathetic Echidna

    The thinking asexual

    I had come across it before but the writing style is not something I can pleasantly read, so I would really have to be in 'the mood' to more than skim read their stuff (really some of it reminds me of Anthropology articles I read at Uni). I did just now though read through the whole https://thethinkingasexual.wordpress.com/2015/11/13/the-asexual-and-aromantic-identity-spectrums-dont-make-sense/ There are some good points as per the semantics of who/how meaning of attraction for different labels and ultimately the model they propose makes more logical sense if the whole non-allo section of society is going to be used for psychological or philosophy studies. But really, I can't agree with them as I do see aces and aros as being on the same line of spectrum as demi- and grey- and allos though using the terms 'aces' and 'aros' as shorthand when people are talking of that end of the spectrum is a bit annoying simply because then what are you going to call a group of asexuals or a group of aromantics and have people understand that there is no attraction experience in the room? Also I think there is an easy sidestep around the semantics issue How are aromantics attracted to people? Compute error: No Who are aromantics attracted to? Not Applicable
  12. good overview, but point 7 gets too technical too fast. It really feels like someone else wrote the last point as it doesn't fit with the light intro the rest of the article is.
  13. Apathetic Echidna

    Did Aromanticism Used to be "the Norm" in Western Society?

    okay, so being a (most likely misinformed) bored person who trawled the internet one night I came across a discussion about dating. One person had pulled a set of quotes from some historical correspondence. I don't know the original context of the correspondence, and being of classical origin, it is doubtful anyone knows what the context really was...I guess we are all stuck with supposition? anyway I'll post the stuff I directly saved from the conversation (the top line is a hyperlink to the original Tumblr post) they were obviously interpreting it all as romantic, and holding these classical examples as being a benchmark of a good romantic relationship. So as time goes on, because we don't know for certain much of the context of history, the modern views will be skewing our sense of history anyway. I sort of forgot what my point was....I'll probably be back to clear up points or edit this post of something when I am feeling more clear
  14. Apathetic Echidna

    Anyone want to help me make a website?

    @Naegleria fowleri you could, but it is sort of covered in more general terms. I sort of see Apressexual as the little cousin of WTFsexual ~ you can identify the attractions eventually but they are still pretty much inseparable and possibly still confusing. Maybe make it a footnote to another term?
  15. Apathetic Echidna

    Anyone want to help me make a website?

    Just put a comment on your asexual page for my own situation, but I tried showing that it is sort of covered by other terms and it's basic opposite (I really believe that what you define yourself as is equally balanced between what you are and what you certainly are not). That was the biggest problem when I was looking into my own labels, I found many definitions but little context in some of the labels I was interested in so the idea of comments from actual people that identify that way is great