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Apathetic Echidna

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About Apathetic Echidna

  • Rank
    Prickly Ball of Aro

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  • Gender
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  • Location
    The Antipodes
  • Romanticism
  • Sexuality
    Greyasexual of some form

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  1. Apathetic Echidna

    Boston College Professor

    She does say that the cost should be limited to like $10, so there is no expectation of anything 'big'. I guess that is her way of getting out of monetary expenditure complaints? That is definitely one of the points I took issue with, simply because splitting the bill is sort of enshrined in Australia (but yes, I understand this is sort of a cultural difference thing). Though in giving a loose budget goal it sort of makes the assumption that money has to be spent....when really it doesn't. I didn't see if paying for the date with actual money was one of the main goal or not, but I wouldn't put it past the Proff to say you had to go out and spend money on the date as part of the requirements for success in getting the extra credits.
  2. everything Eklinaar said. I will add though that as she is demiro she has probably been through some part of the internet community and so would be aware of the mass of confusion that seems to be present. If you are open and honest about not completely knowing how you might react or progress or even how both of your demiromantic-ness will interact. Any hesitation should make sense then, and really I think the comments about being 'flaky' or 'afraid of commitment' sounds like comments from people who don't understand demiromantic feelings, or general aro-spec feelings for that matter.
  3. Apathetic Echidna

    Interesting article

    fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck I got bad feels, and a sort of distant doom feeling for the future.... maybe not so distant. I know this may be the whole 'we are threads and can't see the pattern we weave' thing but I think that if I was suddenly gone I would be fairly replaceable in basically all my friend's lives. I guess this is the point that makes me read the author as a romantic as I certainly don't want to be cared for and prioritised above others by someone (sure, definitely expect to be prioritised by a pet but for me that comes under some complex possessive-ownership-love-stuff I seem to do). To be someone's 'everything' is a scary thing I agree with the author, but it is not something I desire (phew!).
  4. Apathetic Echidna

    Vox Article on TV Representation of Asexuality

    cool article. I hadn't heard of some of those announcements/shows. Asexuality is wider (and has a surprisingly older history) on TV than I thought. It really makes me wish the Skins UK had an asexual as EVERYONE I know my age watched that show for at least the first 3 seasons....ah, if only...
  5. Apathetic Echidna

    Boston College Professor

    oh I must have missed that point. Yeah, very inconsistent with her comments on not everyone being called on by romantic attachment...I guess all those people just miss out on the extra credit. I feel that if she had kept it a mandatory part of the course she would have had to change it to be more inclusive (like the chicken foot thing I did had an alternative process for vegetarians and vegans) but making it a voluntary thing certainly seems unfair to the students to be unflexable for those who have issues with it. I bet there is no counter-balanced extra credit option for them... (I don't really like the whole 'extra credit' thing anyway, the way it worked in my courses was actually like equivalent credit when you missed something you could make it back up)
  6. Apathetic Echidna

    Friend in a toxic relationship...HELP

    so their communication has been on various screens? like computer and phone? Studies have shown that the reward feelings you get when you check your phone and see something pleasing can form an addiction. She in the past has probably been happy when she received communication from him so she actually may have a sort of addiction to their communication, no matter how terrible of a situation it is now she has these habits. Maybe something that would help her is if she has some sort of alternative (like a smoker trying to quit having a pen to play with and chew on) maybe try to find a game or a get yourself and other friends to communicate with her online or by phone more. Replace his way of interacting with her by having other friends interacting in the same ways so she doesn't focus on what she is missing out (and thus focusing on him). But yes, she totally has to drop him. He sounds inconsiderate and flakey.
  7. Apathetic Echidna

    Need advice... is it wrong? What should I do?

    The other advice that has been given I agree with, but your situation sounds close to what one of my family members went through. The relationship started breaking down until all they did was fight. They took time apart but unlike you getting back into the same sort of relationship with your wife they decided to try being friends and see if that led them back into a marriage. They ended up preferring to be friends. Obviously some things with your wife work and some things don't work so maybe you would be better off changing the sort of relationship you have to find something that might be better? Just don't stay unhappy if you have a chance to be happy in another situation.
  8. Apathetic Echidna

    Uhh... Who is Papo?

    Just pretend you know what is going on and run with it thats what I did
  9. Apathetic Echidna

    Wikipedia article

    Well as it is still up and has 22 references but I do think it has been tied too close to Asexual. I have no clue about any sort of wiki things so is it okay if I just make my comments here? shouldn't this really be 'LGBTQIA is interpreted by some to stand for aromantic, asexual and agender'? Most people talking about aromanticism are asexuals sure, but I really dislike this phrase in the article. Please change it to 'Most self-aware aromantics are asexual because they have investigated the split-attraction model' or something. Also how has the article been written and not directly mentioned the split attraction model? There could also be some comments about a squish because I think most people would find that relatable (plus I know of a reference that you can use for that: https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/8gdkyz/aromantics-amelia-tait-322 ). Something should also probably be said about the importance of friendships to aromantics...just in case the article is looked up by a friend of an aro and can then see how their friend values their connection. Also this reference could be put in somewhere, maybe for the split attraction model comment or something: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15538605.2016.1233840 I know Amatonormativity is mentioned but it could be expanded, or you could bring in these terms (https://blogs.psychcentral.com/single-at-heart/2017/10/coining-new-terms-how-singlism-and-matrimania-made-it-into-the-mainstream/ ) as a way to identify amatonormative discrimination, I know we don't tend to use these terms in the community but it is a well done article and it states things pretty clearly that outline amatonormative views (though without actually using the word amatonormative).
  10. Apathetic Echidna

    Boston College Professor

    I find this sort of unfair as the way it seems to be set up is to do a 'first date' which would basically exclude those already in relationships and those people not out/or uncomfortable still about their sexuality and attractions. Maybe it is just the article doing a romantic dating spin, as in Australia asking someone for a casual meeting and conversation would be a 'get together' and would be the easiest credit for everyone to get, but this article definitely seems to lean towards an understanding that the people being asked out are for some sort of romantic overture. Even if the professor is using the word 'date' in a non-romantic way, she talks about all these rules and structure of a date which to me don't sound particularly non-romantic. Sure, the asking out in person thing could be a legit 'get the students out of their comfort zone' thing, like the food course I did where we had to go out and eat chicken feet. Learning to move on from indifference and take rejection is fairly good thing too. But the rest sounds like some judgemental older person dictating their dated cultural values onto younger people for who those things might not work. She said she started this as the majority of her almost graduating students had never been on a 'first date'. I can only assume this is the romantic meaning of date as it seems really strange if all those people didn't have friends they did things with to make their human connections. I sort of feel this whole thing is a sad reflection on the education system, too busy studying, to busy focusing on what looks good on a resume, too focused on a future job that no students are allowed to be children, teens and young adults to learn about making connections and socialising in a natural way. (I may just be a bit snarky because I recently watched Michael Moore's 'Where to invade next')
  11. Apathetic Echidna

    Astrology: Venus in Retrograde?

    I was sort of lazy and did a word search for 'Retrograde' in my birth chart. Nope, nothing. So I am concluding I am not in retrograde. I did scroll down and read the section(s) on Venus for me and they all sounded wrong. There was like one thing that I would agree with then 10 points I didn't agree with. Most of the Mars section was also about love on my chart, mostly saying that I am supposedly 'feisty in love' or 'domineering and quarrelsome with romantic partners'. oh no! even Neptune is in on it: ewww....
  12. Apathetic Echidna

    Aromantic Character Headcanons

    @Star Girl In cannon Rainier is gay but I totally read that as homosexual aromantic. He is attracted to men but he never partners off. And once he joins court he certainly has the status and chance to form a relationship with someone who would not be intimidated by his caste or power, even if his wound does really knock his self-worth. Also. Yes. Karla. Definitely.
  13. Apathetic Echidna

    Aromanticism in one sentence

    "I love you like I love the weather" (Though I guess this doesn't work if the person has some weird kink for weather...I'm sure there is a kink for that. There is a kink for everything)
  14. Apathetic Echidna

    Questions for heterosexuals aromantics (Questioning my sexuality)

    I am probably no help here as my attraction is the complete opposite of the one you mention in your first post. My sexual attraction is very much tied to my sensual attraction. I find myself suddenly fascinated with one aspect of a particular man. He may be completely uninteresting in every other way. He may have a fairly terrible personality. We have just met and I am sitting on my hands to stop from touching. If I had a close relationship with someone I know my attraction would not work in the same way (if at all), I can only presume that theoretical sexual encounter would be more of a friendship and comfort thing rather than something driven by the out-of-the-blue sensual/sexual attraction which can make me want to be close with someone even if they are the worst person around.
  15. Rather than try to give advice on how to reject, I will try to answer your first question. I guess the most effective way to avoid being asked out would be to develop a reputation for not dating and not wanting to date. So reject and friendzone as much as you can, though you seem to mention that the ones asking you out are generally threatening personalities? Stay safe! maybe if you physically run away that will be enough to get them to leave you alone?