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About aro_elise

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    fashion design student
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  1. Soulmate by Lizzo! Not my usual taste in music at all but the lyrics are great, you gotta check it out. Self-love with a side of feminism 👌
  2. yeah, platonic/queerplatonic is a squish. personally, when i have a squish + sexual attraction i call it an aro crush. 😄 i randomly said it once and just stuck with it. if it's just sexual attraction i don't call it anything, i just say he's hot or whatever. i believe 'crush' is usually romantic + sexual but could also be just romantic (like allo aces would use it, right?), but you can use whatever words you like.
  3. pretty repulsed. being on the receiving end of romantic affection or even attraction makes me uncomfortable, as does pretending to reciprocate it--i don't do that anymore and i'm not open to a romantic relationship even if there are other aspects of it i would enjoy. as for other couples and fiction, it's not a huge deal, usually just kind of weird, boring, or annoying.
  4. he sure is. i came here to recommend my favourite: dial m for murder.
  5. platonic friendships, sexual relationships, maybe QPRs, or combinations of those. i do love being alone but i think 'little to no interaction' would be a stretch.
  6. aro_elise

    Body Mods

    just earrings, and i dye my hair a lot but it's natural at the moment. i'm considering getting a tattoo but the permanence freaks me out.
  7. aromantic just means you don't experience romantic attraction, which logically tends to lead to disinterest in romantic relationships, but that's not what defines the orientation. (some aros enjoy dating, and some are interested in queerplatonic relationships.) it sounds like you do experience romantic attraction but maybe infrequently or fleetingly. if you feel that that's accurate, you could go with gray-aromantic. another possibility is lithromantic, meaning your romantic attraction disappears when it's reciprocated. otherwise it's certainly possible that you're not on the aro spectrum but you just have a different approach to romantic and/or sexual relationships--nothing wrong with that. it's not selfish to not want a long-term or very involved relationship; i don't know what would make you think that, to be honest. you don't owe anyone your time, affection, or anything else--as long as you're honest about what you're looking for in the relationship, if you do enter one, which again, you certainly don't have to. if the other person doesn't share your feelings or attitudes, it's not your fault any more than it is theirs.
  8. tbh some people will even think that if you do come out. like they can't accept that you're not romantically and/or sexually attracted to anyone; they think you're hiding or repressing that attraction, whatever gender(s) they think it's towards. like i told a friend my orientation and we were talking about platonic relationships and i talked about my best friend and he said "i think you love her romantically". he thought it was more likely that i'm heterosexual and homoromantic than het aro. not that that's not a possible combination, but it's not common, and more importantly, i'd told him my orientation and my platonic feelings for my friend! another friend thought that since i'm virgin i must be gay or religious (i am that, but that's not the reason). others assume my lgbt+ community involvement/allyship must mean i'm gay or bi. and of course pretty much everyone who detects any indication of my heterosexuality assumes i'm also heteroromantic, though probably unconsciously. all this to say, it kinda sucks, but it just be like that. like the others said here, you can tell people your orientation or not, that's your choice, but either way they can make assumptions you might not be able to change. just like, try to associate with people who don't make you uncomfortable and remember that what you know is more important than what others think.
  9. i'd say platonic attraction can just be wanting to be friends with someone, like not that strong, and then wanting a qpr could be described as queerplatonic attraction (it's in the initialism). my squishes tend to be somewhere in between; i don't know which i'd call them. like i don't think i've ever wanted a qpr with a specific person (but not opposed to the general idea), but there is a difference between having a squish and just liking someone as a friend. so yeah, we're using all these terms--squish, platonic, qp, etc.--and they exist at different places on the spectrum of platonic attraction or whatever you want to call it, not to mention at a slightly different place for each person. also, for me, there can be sexual attraction involved but certainly not always (obviously never in the case of girls). they're unrelated types of attraction but they can just happen to coincide. like, "oh, he's fun and nice and also hot." do y'all (allo aros) not relate?
  10. in conversation, my coworker said she didn't want to assume i wanted to marry a man, so i said "i don't want to marry anyone, but i like guys."  how's that for a vague but accurate summary of my orientation?  on the spot, too.

  11. Care 100% Loyalty 50% Fairness 78% Authority 44% Purity 61% Liberty 53% Your strongest moral foundation is Care. Your morality is closest to that of a Left-Liberal. i'm surprised care is the highest--maybe it sort of means kindness--but not surprised by left-liberal.
  12. interesting, i kind of assumed most aros did. i definitely do.
  13. haha yeah. i'd never considered that i might be anything other than straight because i thought it was synonymous with heterosexual, nothing else to it. one day i just stumbled upon explanations of aromanticism and split attraction and thought "hmm. interesting." and so it began.
  14. not going to pride this year 😕  i'm working, and i have no one to go with.  are you guys going?

    1. Azxre


      i'm not going, there's none here. i wouldn't go anyways though because i don't really feel in the community eiher way, but rip for ya i guess :[

    2. aro_elise


      last year i went with my friend and her uni friends, one of whom is actually aro, but this year she's going with her family, and again, i don't want to antagonize my new employer.  it's chill, though, i don't mind not going every year.

  15. @Apathetic Echidna ash hardell? and i've seen a post somewhere by a woman who identifies as queer and polyamorous but not aro-spec--while she has mostly casual romantic/sexual relationships, she lives with her longtime qpp. she did use that term, but not 'squish,' but you know, it was clear she experiences queerplatonic attraction.
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