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About aro_elise

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    fashion design student
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  1. aro_elise

    Tell me about your day

    i woke up at 3 pm, got an iced capp, then met my roommate on campus. after dinner, we went to the gym, then had smoothies with vodka while watching how i met your mother. now i'm eating pasta at 3 am. i love the 2 months between school here and work at my cottage (though i love the cottage).
  2. aro_elise

    Looking to connect with the community

    mmhmm, fellow allo aro here, i had a similar experience. i actually found the term at 16, though, and spent a year questioning, aka in denial. cause it does suck in some ways, the whole 'platonic relationships not being valued' thing and of course the way a lot of people react/treat us, and now, at 20, there are still difficult moments and there always will be, but i love it and wouldn't change it. welcome to the club.
  3. aro_elise

    Another Aromantic Test

    42% aro (not ace), 0% romantic and sexual. i kind of anticipated some of the corresponding results, like the "i don't see how you could fall in love with someone you just met" option, well, yeah, but i don't see how you could fall in love with ANYONE--that's clearly supposed to be demi, so i didn't pick it. and yeah, for the "would you want a relationship?" one, i picked "under no circumstances" because while that's not exactly true, i wouldn't under any of THOSE circumstances. so i think it worked pretty well. also i remember doing this like a couple years ago, i think i picked pretty much the same answers.
  4. aro_elise

    Aromantic Character Headcanons

    i found a good one today, lads. so i'd read rick riordan's 'heroes of olympus' series and thought it would be awesome if there were an aro child of aphrodite but i hadn't considered piper, 'cause, you know, jason. then they show up in 'the trials of apollo' series ('the burning maze' spoilers ahead) and they've broken up and these lines of dialogue had me like 👀: piper: jason's great. he's my closest friend, even more than annabeth. but whatever i thought was there, my happily-ever-after...it just wasn't. apollo: your relationship was born in crisis. such romances are difficult to sustain once the crisis is over. piper: it wasn't just that. apollo: *anecdote about an ex* piper: it was me. apollo: what do you mean it was you? you mean you realized you didn't love jason? that's no one's fault. narration: she grimaced, as if i (apollo) still hadn't grasped what she meant...or perhaps she wan't sure herself. piper: i know it's nobody's fault. i do love him. but...like i told you, hera forced us together--the marriage goddess, arranging a happy couple. my memories of starting to date jason, our first few months together, were a total illusion. then, as soon as i found that out, before i could even process what it meant, aphrodite claimed me. my mom, the goddess of love. aphrodite pushed me into thinking i was...that i needed to...look at me, the great charmspeaker (she has the power to bend people to her will with her words). i don't even have words. aphrodite expects her daughters to wrap men around our little fingers, break their hearts, et cetera. apollo: yes. your mother has definite ideas about how romance should be. piper: so if you take that away, the goddess of marriage pushing me to settle down with a nice boy, the goddess of love pushing me to be the perfect romantic lady or whatever-- apollo: you're wondering who you are without all that pressure. ohhh man. it's perfect. and rick's sooo great with representation that...i mean, not getting my hopes up, but how awesome would a canon aro piper be? anyway, that's one of my favourite headcanons of all time.
  5. Yeah, it could totally still be squishes. I get them on all genders and I still know I’m aro as opposed to panromantic, I just know. I do get a similar kind of doubt when I have a squish on a guy I’m also sexually attracted to—is it a “normal” crush?—but that’s just the amatonormativity and stuff. Whatever you really feel describes it, it does. You chose to identify as aro for a reason, and that’s not to say that can’t change, but, you know, trust yourself.
  6. aro_elise

    My latest aro crush

    I know, I think the fact that we don’t really understand what romance is (at least I’ll speak for myself) makes a lot of things more confusing, especially during the initial figuring-it-out period. Aha yeah well I’m pretty happy just to admire. Btw, I just showed my dad a picture of him—we were watching an eagles concert dvd and I was making the point that he had the 70s look going on—and he said “yeah, wow,” and then “good-looking guy.” Lol
  7. aro_elise

    My latest aro crush

    Friendly, then. Like a squish, plus sexual attraction.
  8. aro_elise

    My latest aro crush

    Yeah man! I used to assume it was a “normal” crush (romantic + sexual, I guess), but once I realized I was aro I was like ohh yeah ok. And of course I can get squishes (purely platonic) on any gender, which I never questioned. But yeah, I get like, a few aro crushes a year, maybe, and they can be as short-lived as this one, or if it’s someone I see regularly it could potentially last several months.
  9. aro_elise

    Is my partner Aromantic?

    I agree—he sounds like he’s feeling and expressing platonic love for you. As an aro who has been in a romantic relationship, myself—while I was questioning/coming to terms with it, no less—it’s difficult to make sense of your feelings and to express them to your partner. I didn’t want to hurt him, but it was better for both of us when I was honest, and it does sound like he’s sharing his thoughts and feelings with you, just that they could be uncertain. For me, the idea of doing traditionally romantic things and of my boyfriend being romantically attracted to me complicated it—made me uncomfortable with things I would otherwise have liked or not minded on a platonic or sexual level. I think it was a good idea to get a bit of distance to sort things out but I don’t think continuing your relationship at some point would be a bad idea. For now, my best suggestion is to play it by ear, keep talking about it but not forcing anything. Good luck.
  10. aro_elise

    My latest aro crush

    That’s what I call platonic + sexual attraction. So I’m in Japan (leaving in a few hours) and I met some people at my hostel. One of them is French (a lot of them are French—I’m Canadian so I speak it pretty well and he’s good at English too) and he’s really attractive and cool and he’s 22 which is kind of like my upper limit in terms of attraction (I’m almost 20)...anyway, I wanted to talk about it to see how all your experiences compared. So when I first met him, I was like ‘oh, he’s pretty hot’ then as we hung out more (with others) I was like, ‘yeah he’s cool’, sort of registering that I might have an aro crush, then just now I was alone in the lounge, he came out of the shower and I was like ‘ok act casual’, we talked a bit and I was like ‘aro crush confirmed’. But I’m not really upset that I’m leaving and will never see him again, as I think people with a romantic crush would be. Meeting him—and the others—was just like, a nice part of the experience of the trip. So yeah just a lil update.
  11. aro_elise

    The Aro <-> Romantic Q&A Thread

    can i just say, i took that quiz, tried to be generous, and got 12--some were about my feelings for my best friend and some were about my past experiences with my ex (like trying to make myself love him), but i was very disturbed by the questions and the notion that many people would answer 'yes' to many of them. i've always been bothered by how jealous, possessive, and irrational allos seem to be, but it just continues to shock me. sorry if this sounds offensive, if anyone disagrees with my perception, feel free to tell me why.
  12. yeah, like when people criticize labeling demisexuality because they think everyone's like that i'm like, what, no. time/closeness with someone rarely increases my attraction to them, maybe if it allows me to discover more about them which i find attractive, but i can totally be immediately and strongly attracted to guys, again, often just by looking at them. actually there's a term for the opposite, where emotional bond and sexual attraction are inversely related: fraysexuality. i think it would be considered ace-spec? anyway, everyone experiences sexual attraction differently (including not at all, for aces), and it's up to the individual to decide how to identify, but to me, @Costati, what you described doesn't really sound like sexual attraction. if you do want to continue investigating, something to consider is why you might call yourself heterosexual but not bi-, pan-, or homosexual.
  13. my best friend just called me her best friend and told me she loves me endlessly and i cried.  i'll never get tired of hearing that stuff.  

    1. Eklinaar


      what wholesome aro content

  14. i got you, fam. i've never questioned my heterosexuality, even when i was questioning being aro, and even before then, when i got squishes on girls--i just figured it was platonic, which it was. so as for your postscript, that's very relevant. for me, finding a guy good-looking generally equals being sexually attracted to him. i don't think i'm good at explaining what it's like, but an asexual once told me mine was the best description they'd ever heard. so, it's not necessarily a physical feeling, though it can be a bit in my chest, but nor is it a very conscious thought (like 'i want to have sex with him'), though if i thought about it, i guess i'd at least want to make out with him. but the main one is 'he's hot'. i've heard it compared to hunger/craving, but for a person, and i agree. other things can contribute, like demeanor, but without the appearance factor, i won't be attracted to them, and i can't do anything sexual with someone i'm not attracted to. (well, i've made out with a couple friends when we were drunk, but anyway.) i don't just think about sexual interactions or relationships in general. as i understand sexual orientation, it doesn't matter how you feel about HAVING sex; the only question should be 'to whom are you sexually ATTRACTED?' i hope that helps. i'd be glad to answer any more questions.
  15. aro_elise

    New aro here

    i get it! i consider myself fluent in french, but i get tripped up when i speak without having prepared. i have elementary skills and the same problem in estonian and japanese. but your writing really is excellent. anyway, welcome!