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aro_elise

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About aro_elise

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Personal Information

  • Name
    Elise
  • Gender
    female
  • Pronouns
    she/her
  • Location
    Toronto
  • Occupation
    fashion design student
  • Romanticism
    aromantic
  • Sexuality
    heterosexual

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  1. i see what you mean, actually, i don't consider my sexuality that important either. being interested in guys is kind of like being moderately interested in other things, like, not my favourite things, but things i like. your sport analogy works--for example, i like skiing but i don't do it often; it's not a big part of my life, but when i see a nice mountain i think i'd like to ski there.
  2. depression. i also put neurodiverse (although i think it's 'neurodivergent') because it's defined as having a brain which functions differently from an average, healthy brain. with chronic depression, that's what's happening. and about 7% of people have it. if that weren't enough, i'm gifted, which only about 2% of people are. so that's unhealthy, and above average.
  3. yeah, aromantic heterosexual. when i don't feel like coming out i just say straight, but people who know me well know that's not quite it. as i said in my poll, the two parts of my identity are quite distinct from each other, but also, like, i'm very aro and very heterosexual, like on the ends of the respective spectrums, so it's like, how else would i possibly identify? both labels fit me perfectly.
  4. interesting, i wondered whether there would be anyone like that. you know, i was in this club in high school called spectrum, like a gsa. one time, asexuality and aromanicism came up--i wasn't out, i believe this was during my denial period--and the club leader (student teacher, straight) asked the difference. i tried to explain, talking about the different types of attraction, and she just said "to me it's the same." and i was thinking '???'
  5. i call myself straight, like in my head, but i'm hesitant to say it to others. my friend--the only person irl who has my permission to call me straight--has called me "straight but not" as well as "queer". she's gay btw. i'd be interested to hear whether any aros have the same problems with terms like gay, lesbian, bi, or pan.
  6. i'm curious about your experiences with this, so please vote and comment! i'm not sure how well i phrased the questions and options, though; you'll see why when i list and explain my own answers: 1. i've always been sure of my sexual orientation. i've always identified as completely heterosexual, never questioned it. even when i experienced squishes or aesthetic attraction toward girls but didn't even know what to call them, i correctly identified the feelings and didn't worry about it. 2. no. i learned about aromanticism and the split attraction model at the same time, and essentially thought 'ok i'm definitely heterosexual, and i'd assumed i was heteroromantic, though not in those words...but could i be aromantic?' and so it began. 3. separate. i don't see how sexual and romantic attraction have anything to do with each other. like, not just in my own case, but in general--i don't understand. (i mean, i don't really understand romantic attraction in the first place, but...) if i were asked to name my orientation in one word, i wouldn't know what to say, because i have two. i don't even like when people call me straight, because that implies 'heterosexual and heteroromantic'. you guys can, though--the rules don't apply to my fellow aros. 😄 so yeah, chime in, and feel free to ask more questions! ✌️
  7. hmm i'd say i was neutral before i discovered i was aro. i just didn't think much about romance, whether in media or in my own future, it was just like, whatever. but afterwards, particularly after i'd been in a romantic relationship and knew how i really felt about it, it became more noticeable. like if i saw people doing something romantic, i would think about doing it myself and how uncomfortable it was/would surely be. and once you're aware of amatonormativity you can't help but notice how pervasive it is. so yeah, i'm mostly repulsed now, not to the extent you described, and i can enjoy the very occasional romantic story if it's well-written, but i generally dislike it for sure.
  8. yeah, i told my parents and a few close friends several months after i started identifying as aro at 17, and plenty more people since then. like, the very first person i told was my boyfriend at the time, and we broke up a couple months later, so partly it was part of my explanation to other people--not that i owed them one, but whatever. and i used to be apprehensive too, but it gets easier every time, i mean not accounting for the fact that the responses may not improve. overall, though, they've been good. but if you don't feel the need to come out, that's totally fine, it's up to you.
  9. i think i have a squish on a guy in my class.  i noticed him last year but we didn't really talk until now.

  10. it's absolutely possible. i'm only 21 but i like my romance-free life so far and i know i want it to stay that way in the future as surely as i know anything. i look forward to everything i'll be able to do without a romantic partner or kids holding me back. haha yeah, pretty cool, right?
  11. my friend came out as asexual (i knew she was questioning) and our friend grilled her about it and i tried to have her back without speaking for her.  i just know it's not as easy to explain and stuff in the beginning.  

  12. @LBMango i'm aro, heterosexual, and poly, too! also more in theory than anything. to address the questions, i actually have no problem with my orientations or with acting on my attraction, and anyone who has a problem with me can work it out on their own. i do have a problem with the association of sex with romance and i feel like i'll pretty much always be apprehensive about sexual relations because of it--you know, the possibility of them being romantically attracted to me or whatever. that's the only thing i'm worried about "dealing with".
  13. relatable. my ideal relationship, besides purely platonic friendship, would be with a friend to whom i'm sexually attracted. i used to think that was a crush, too; since finding out that's not exactly the case, i've realized i've never had a crush. i definitely "felt kind of awkward" during the supposedly romantic relationship i had. take your time to identify however you want, but i'll say that you sound aro to me.
  14. i relate to a lot of what you said. i particularly liked this: but yeah, the attraction you feel could be sexual, platonic (known as a 'squish' rather than a crush), or a combination; i've experienced all. just because these may have things in common with romantic crushes, such as thinking about the person a lot, being excited to see them, wanting to be closer or more intimate with them, etc., it doesn't mean it's romantic. and btw, the longer you identify as aro, if you do, the easier it'll become to recognize and accept what you're feeling, but the self-doubt brought on largely by amatonormativity may never fully disappear. i currently have a 'sexual crush' and i have had thoughts like 'oh it could be a crush' but i know it's not romantic, it's nothing new--you just have to be conscious of how you really feel, because that's all which matters. i understand finding a word for your orientation is helpful, and if you want to id as aro, or on the spectrum, even to sort of try it out, see how it feels (i did that for a few months before i got comfortable with it) then absolutely go for it.
  15. you shouldn't have to cover them; it's your body and it's not against any rules so it's so your choice. i don't care whether my cuts are visible when i have them. i'm not in high school but when i was, i knew a guy who had scars and i never saw anyone comment or anything. totally up to you.
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