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Ice Queen

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About Ice Queen

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 03/25/1996

Personal Information

  • Name
    Tanya
  • Gender
    female
  • Pronouns
    she
  • Location
    Romania
  • Occupation
    undergraduate student
  • Romanticism
    aromantic
  • Sexuality
    demi-heterosexual

Recent Profile Visitors

535 profile views
  1. Hurt

    It's over now. She blocked me :c.
  2. Roses are red, Violets are blue

    Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dating is boring, And romance movies, too
  3. Hurt

    This story should be the living proof that aromantics do have a heart and they can have it broken, regardless of what those foolish myths say... So I met this woman online 4 years ago. Both of us were members of a lyrics translating website and one day she approached me on the chat. Even though she was 11 years older than me, she was young at heart. I was only 17. We started talking more and more often and came to realise that we have quite a few things in common. It felt comfortable talking to her. One year later I realised she understands me better than anyone else. I came to love her for what she is: for her wonderful soul and her great personality. Despite the distance(we live in the same country, but different towns) we've been through a lot together as we were always there for each other, we shared our deepest secrets. She made me feel safe and warm. I loved her so much. I really thought we had a special bond. But one year ago durig our last comversation she told me about some symptoms she's been experiencing, such as nausea and headaches and she was scared because she thought she had some horrible disease. I tried to chase away her irrational fear but it seems I failed... 2 weeks after she sent an e-mail to me, apologising she hadn't contacted me since and telling me she was depressed and isolating herself is her coping mechanism...Of course I respected her decision, but I thought it was just a brief phase...I was wrong...back in April something devastating happened, I lost the queerplatonic partner of my dreams and it was a big schock because I didn't see it coming (but me and the boy are and will always stay best friends, I love him just as much as back then and he cares deeply about me as well, so don't worry about that :3). I sent an e-mail to her because I felt the need to talk to someone and she was the only one who could understand me...but...she told me she couldn't help me as she was "too much of a wreck to help anyone at that point in her life"... That was horrible news, can't even describe what it felt like...But all this time I've been waiting for a sign...it never came....it is now that I realise that things will never get back to normal again and I lost her...a goodbye that was never said and explained...I never thought this could happen....We once made a promise to never leave each other's side, no matter what happens...I meant it and I believed it....Thing is... I can't forget her. Sometimes I dream about me and her talking again...but it's never reality...just dreams... Time and again I can't seem to stop the tears because the pain gets unbearable. My wound doesn't seem to heal. She broke not only her promise, but my heart as well. I am devastated 💔💔💔.
  4. How does being LGBTQ+ in some way have its advantages?

    Perhaps we have a huge opportunity to discover who our true friends are. And we're definitely not mainstream :p.
  5. Give your definition of "Love" and "Romance"

    Romance is attraction. It can happen anywhere, anytime, with anyone. It is spontaneous, random, out of control. It is all about euphoria, adrenaline rush. It is shallow. It ends just under the same circumstances as it can start. Out of the blue. Love is a bond. Born out of friendship. It doesn't "happen", it grows. Over time. It comes out of knowing the person well. Out of knowing that the person deserves it. It never ends. If you truly love someone, you won't feel differently one day on some supid chemical whim because true love has nothing to do with chemicals. Long-lasting relationships are mostly true love with some romance added. A small percentage of them are just love with no romance, these are the aromantic ones. Romance alone, however, is nothing.
  6. Libido versus attraction

    Well, my case is rather peculiar. As a teenager, I never had urges at all, nor did I fantasise sexually about anyone. I masturbated for the first time when I was 18 - not because of sexual tension, but out of pure curiosity. The result? I felt like a lump of ice. I experienced sexual attraction at the age of 19, I started fantasising about this boy and I tried masturbating thinking about him - but in order to feel something, I really needed to focus intensely and I could only stay focused for so long as 2 minutes. When I slept with him, however, it was great every time. I felt really good with him - like the best treat to my body. To me, it is like, in all cases, my sex drive is somehow solely dependent on the boy I desire. I only feel turned on because of him. Besides, I've never had an orgasm, nor have I ever felt a need for it. Just being with him in that way, having him do to me things that I enjoy, feeling his body close to mine is amazing and I always enjoy every moment of intimacy. It is like...I don't like sex, but sex WITH HIM. And if I can no longer sleep with him, I don't feel frustrated at all and my body works fantastically. I only still desire him and sometimes long to feel him that close to me, but it all happens within normal limits :-?. Do all these make sense? Is this all because I'm demisexual or is it just the subcategory of those who experience attraction but have no sex drive at all? :-?
  7. Contrary to all those myths about our kind (and even to how some alloromantics see things, for that matter), sex to me has always been more than just fulfilling a biological need (otherwise we might all just play with ourselves and that's it). I've always been of the opinion sex is about making each other feel good and respecting each other whether there's any emotional bond or not. Not long ago I realised that a sexual relationship between two people can actually be helpful in learning some important things about each other. How come? Well, the boy I slept with for more than a year treated me with respect every single time. He never forced me to anything. He was always very considerate of me (asking me whether I was in a comfortable position; when we tried something new, he said "if it feels unpleasant, just let me know, alright?"). He genuinely cared that I feel good and have a great time. Now, all these say quite a bit about him, don't you think? But if there's no consideration between the people involved, well, I'll let you guys draw the conclusion.
  8. Aromanticism in one sentence

    "My kind of love is a wall that is build over time for a clear reason, not a flame that starts blazing suddenly and out of the blue."
  9. Most aro song of the 2000s?

    Since this thread is about music, I want to share a song that I found. I can interpret it as an amazing metaphor about aromanticism and the fact that it is innate and we can't change and that people have to understand us and stop pressuring us into doing so. The chorus and the last part say it all... That last line: "He could not take from the forest what was never meant to leave"
  10. I have no idea who coined the notion, whoever it was, they were totally clueless regarding of the meaning of the words they used. There's no need for me to explain what the word "friend" means, so I'm going to get straight to the point. 95% of the duos that call themselves "friends with benefits" are, in reality, nothing but people who have intercourse now and then without talking and hanging out at all and, obviously, without keeping in touch after sex between the parties becomes impossible for various reasons. Well, where is the friendship in all that? Why on earth would you use a notion which is so linguistically inaccurate? To me, this notion means one thing: whatever happens, we stay friends. Sex does not influence our friendship negatively. Friends first, sex partners second. Period.
  11. Queer (Quasi) platonic attraction?

    Yes, I think so. As far as I understood, "alterous" is a term describing feelings which are not exactly platonic, as in they are more than normal friendship, yet not romanitc in nature.
  12. Is coming out necessary?

    Hello! First of all, welcome to Arocalypse! Now, let me tell you something. I discovered all the terms describing my sexual and romantic identity, as well as the kind of relationship that I look for, 3 years ago, when I was 18. I, too, was tempted to keep it all to myself as I read all those myths and was sure than no one was ever going to believe me. But then I realised that the older I grow, the harder it will be for me to go about my life without awakening suspicion among those around me. The first person I came out to is my female best friend. She's been very supportive ever since. I summoned up my courage and started sharing my secret to more and more people as time went by. It's been a bumpy ride. While some proved open-minded and understanding, others bombarded me with all those myths about us, refused to believe me and whatnot. I've faced a lot of judgmental comments. I've even been backstabbed. But sometimes circumstances do require that I come out. It's already become a regular occurrence that some guy spots me, crushes on me, and asks me on a date. I've tried different approaches and none worked, which is why I came to the conclusion that in such situations, I have no other choice but to tell the truth. It is frustrating that people find it so hard to understand me. Sometimes I just feel like posting an article on aromanticism on my facebook wall and get it over with. It's a real dilemma. It is only up to you whether you want to come out or not. In case you decide to go for it, I advise you to start with the person whom you trust the most. The fact that there's even just one person who understands you can be very encouraging and give you the strength to make your way through this ocean of ignoramuses.
  13. Aromantic Moments

    So I went to the cinema with a friend of mine. During the film, the (female) main character said something along the lines: "So I kissed him...we shared the same space...the same breath..." Me: and the same spit =)))
  14. Sex with feelings #NoRomo

    To me, sex is first and foremost about making each other feel good and treating each other with respect whether there is any emotional bond between the parties involved or not. However, the stronger the bond, the more beautiful the intimate moments. If I have a very strong bond with the boy, then sex is no longer only hot and steamy, but also a way of showing that we feel at ease around each other. We add even more sensual elements to it, such as holding hands and snuggling. Emotionally speaking, feeling his body close to mine makes me feel safe and warm (absolutely no difference compared to what I feel when we cuddle and hold hands with clothes on). All in all, lust and satisfaction are accompanied by a deep feeling of safety and comfort. It is like a heterogeneous mixture.
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