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starstuff

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About starstuff

  • Rank
    Member

Personal Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    She/her
  • Romanticism
    Aro
  • Sexuality
    Ace

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  1. starstuff

    Early signs that you were aro

    Oh man, SAME.
  2. starstuff

    Early signs that you were aro

    Oh man. So speaking of fight or flight responses.... I had a guy in high school who basically stalked me from class to class; like, I'm pretty sure he had my schedule memorized. He would show up at the doorway of the class I was leaving, follow me through the halls to my next class, and then go to his own. (There was also a whole thing with him trying to ask me to prom and a ton of panicking on my part and telling him I had promised to go with my friends as a group and then avoiding him the entire night of prom.) Fast forward to college and he ended up going to the same school as me. Part way through the year I spotted him across the campus and before he saw me I basically threw myself behind the nearest building and then ninja-ed my way back to my dorm like a Mission Impossible character. I am really glad I didn't I have to deal with the inevitable awkwardness at our high school 10 year reunion over the summer because he didn't show up.....
  3. starstuff

    Using Valentine’s Day to show platonic love.

    My good friend/brother sent me a bamboo plant and a card that said "Happy Annual Fake-Romantic, Overly-Commercialized, Hetero-normative, Shoved-Down-Our-Throats Day". It totally made me laugh/cry and was the best Valentine's gift I've received ever. Love my bro.
  4. starstuff

    Our Favourite Aromantic Songs

    I think someone already suggested this on a similar thread, but "Don't Fall In Love" by Danko Jones is one of my favorites.
  5. starstuff

    #AromanticProblems

    That's ridiculous.
  6. starstuff

    New aro in the house :)

    I will admit that I'm pretty much only knowledgeable about TOS and the very beginning of TNG, ha ha. I need to get around to marathoning some of the other series....
  7. I see where you're coming from, but I guess to me, the idea of a partnership doesn't necessarily mean a romance. Just because two people happen to compliment each other and work well together doesn't mean they can't have a platonic relationship. And the movie explicitly avoided a kiss scene when they could have easily made it into one, which to me enforced the non-romance of it. (Although now that there's a sequel coming out soon I may end up deeply disappointed...)
  8. Pacific Rim! I know some non-aros read Riley and Mako as "romantic", but to me it just felt like an incredibly genuine QPR. Two people who understood each other on a deep level, literally inside each other's brains, and just aggressively became the ultimate cheerleaders for each other, rather than falling in love. Also, they fight giant monsters together.
  9. The "but that doesn't mean they don't experience romantic/sexual attraction!!!" at the end of the aro and ace descriptions is kind of annoying to me as someone who is both.... It just makes them seem mutually exclusive. Like one or the other is still required to be acceptable....
  10. starstuff

    New aro in the house :)

    I see the enterprise......are you......a fellow trekkie?
  11. starstuff

    Movie/TV Series Recommendations?

    If you're into Sci-fi and don't mind long running shows, Star Gate: Atlantis was fun. There's some romance for a couple of the protagonists, but the main character, John Shepard, has basically none. He's divorced from a marriage that "didn't work out" and there were one or two episodes with some girl who liked him, but he always "nope"d out of there as fast as possible, or just acted super uncomfortable about the whole situation. (Totally AroAce IMO) For the most part it was a show about friendships and the Gate team becoming a makeshift family. (And super cheesy sci-fi aliens and situations )
  12. starstuff

    To Arocalypse I go

    Join usssss. Ha ha. Welcome and everyone I've encountered here has been totally cool. Basically, have fun finding labels you're comfortable with and if they change over time, that's cool too.
  13. starstuff

    Scariest movies for you as a child

    So I'm kind of a weirdo in that I don't find traditional horror movies scary. I mostly just find them boring (or infuriating when the characters do horrifically stupid things). The only movie that haunts me to this day is The Truman Show. Which, again, not a horror movie. But the idea that nothing around me was something I had actually accomplished or built through my own means, that everyone I knew was just there because they had to be and not because they were genuinely my friends, and that the world at large had free access to every private moment I ever thought I had is basically the worst thing I can think of. Watched that movie in middle school and I STILL think about it. Everyone thinks I'm crazy when I tell them that's the scariest movie I've ever seen, but I don't know how it CAN'T be....
  14. SAME. I realized the other week that I usually go the entire week without coming into physical contact with another person (beyond maybe handshakes at work meetings) except for Friday nights when i hug my friends goodbye after hanging out. Even around them, when we're watching movies or whatever, I try very hard to keep from touching anyone too much because I'm so worried about crossing some invisible line that everyone else sees and understands except me. ( As an Ace I also find it super uncomfortable to be in physical contact with someone when a sex scene suddenly pops up on screen. Even just being in the same room with everyone I have to scroll tumblr on my phone or something, cause I don't want to look at the screen.) Like, I just want to hug someone or hold hands or lean on someone during a movie who won't get the wrong idea that I "want something more" or whatever...Sometimes I second-guess my want for a life companion/QPP as me just being touch-starved...
  15. starstuff

    Managing being third-wheeled by your friends?

    I guess I'm kinda lucky cause my two friends in my main core friend group who are engaged to each other are also my friends individually. I find time to hang out with both of them separately if I can, but when we're hanging out with all three of us, they aren't overly-PDA. They know I'm ace/aro though so maybe they avoid it consciously with me? We have also done threesome "date" nights where the three of us will go out to a nice restaurant and my guy friend will treat both of us, ha ha. Our group text chat between the three of us is named "Awkward Third Wheel". We manage to have a good sense of humor about it and I don't feel excluded very often. Also, I do generally try to be the first one to leave on hang-out nights so that they have some time to themselves to say goodbye since they aren't living together yet. Of course, the three of us are also all nearing 30 now (and have known each other since we were kids) so maybe it's just that we've moved past the "gotta be with my romantic partner constantly" phase of life? I think clear communication and being comfortable and trusting of each other are all important aspects in balancing romantic partners and platonic relationships.
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