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DeltaV

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About DeltaV

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    male
  • Pronouns
    he
  • Romanticism
    aro

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  1. DeltaV

    self love

    Thank you. It’s confusing… at least an iPhone having bad reception means the iPhone really exists and indeed has bad reception, so it is a real problem, while the OCD problem is 100% imaginary. But then OCD is itself a problem and not just of the first-world variety.
  2. Yes, but it was already conflated in the original question (title vs. text) and I did want to leave it at that. So to correct it: Might cause aromanticism or could be mistaken for aromanticism: avoidant personality disorder schizoid personality disorder Could be mistaken for aromanticism: social anxiety (severe) autism asperger syndrome
  3. I use the term “fwb” because of that. I guess @Apathetic Echidna proposed “booty call acquaintances” . But seriously, that's too negative, there's a hint that there's some kind of subtle exploitation going on. In reality, pure sex relationships can be nice and respectful. And someone who doesn't do that, or at least is completely open about their feelings and doesn't create drama, is what I call “reliable fwb”. Sadly, they're very rare. That would be perfect. Oh well, in an ideal world… I simply love my friends too much to even try something like this.
  4. Never heard that term before. I found the following definition from RationalWiki: “Stacy is the archetype of a high-value, hypergamous slut and the female counterpart of Chad.” And Chad: “The man, the myth, the legend. Chad is the archetypal alpha bad boy;…” I'm getting kind of annoyed by such terms. Especially since they're designed to be slippery and vague (and therefore manipulative). If the leader of some local crime gang is alpha how can it be that he gets arrested by some normal cops? Also some women are simply named Stacy. I'm weird in the sense that I can't keep my thoughts to myself and have a tendency to be a contrarian. A good opportunity to apologize to everyone I have offended here. PS: I don't really understand your post.
  5. I do cut straight to sex. But who told you this is easy? 🙄 Not just that it's quite some work to find a “reliable” fwb, I also had to overcome some major internal barriers. I found it very, very, very, very difficult to admit to myself that I am “this kind of person”. I actually do not want to be regarded as a “sex machine” – overall I do not feel lacking in emotional depth compared to alloromantic people just because I'm not pining for Princess or Prince Charming. Also sex with people you don't have some emotional connection to has some serious drawbacks which you probably can imagine. You really need a thick skin. Okay, you maybe don't need an emotional connection but mutual respect, yet that's something you can only really know after some time. I just deal with all that because sex simply feels great, great enough to be intrinsically motivating. Even nervous fumbling sex. Though I had some long periods of living celibate and I didn't feel depressed or something.
  6. In general I'd say some probable candidates would be: avoidant personality disorder schizoid personality disorder social anxiety (severe) autism asperger syndrome I don't think depression has a connection with aromanticism.
  7. DeltaV

    self love

    Of course I would never call someone's physical problems “first-world problems” – that would be crazy and extremely insensitive. The reason why certain mental illnesses (not all) sometimes feel like “first-world problems” to me is because they would disappear when standing in front of a tiger. A tiger 🐅 makes OCD go away (for the moment), while it would not make multiple sclerosis go away. Suffering from MS just means you're more likely to get eaten by the tiger. So if my life would be like constantly reacting to real threats, I wouldn't be different from a mentally healthy person. OTOH living without constantly having to react to threats isn't thankfully “first-world”. Though in some areas people have to live under such conditions, there's a huge difference between some normal second-world country like Brazil and South Sudan. Well, “pity” strikes me as a strange word since I'm not a native English speaker. It's pretty unique, because it's something good but with this negative connotation of superiority and condescension. So hopefully it didn't feel like I was pitying you. But still I don't understand what the objective difference between pity and sympathy might be. I don't think you're lesser than me, I was just genuinely sad that you suffer from something that serious, which I never suspected.
  8. DeltaV

    self love

    I find it surprising that there are people like you who understand self-love as literally. I can't conceptualize it in that sense. Love and also other strong emotions directed to others, become just like an odd and much diluted version when applied to myself. I do not feel love towards myself, except metaphorically – I can't feel it literally. Also hate, not possible, literally. (Still, what you wrote was one of the truly nice and uplifting posts here. ) I'm very sorry. 😞💚 I've never suspected that you suffer from something that serious. Thank god, I've never had any chronic problems with my physical health. OK with one exception. But that was just a result of my general craziness (heliophobic OCD … yes, seriously ) and very easily treatable. Oh well, mental health is another issue altogether. I have a tendency to lose contact with reality. Now, of course not in the obvious, dramatic fashion like with schizophrenia, where people straightforwardly confuse imagination with reality, but in the more subtle way, that I confuse theoretical possibilities in my imagination with actual probabilities in reality… and that usually results in full-blown OCD (though, even at my worst, I managed to hide it and appear normal). Over time, I've learned ways to identify those errors and traps, when I leave reality and enter imagination; manage to get out of it before it can tighten its grip over me. So I'm more fortunate than many other people who are deeply stuck in that Circus. But still, if you finally find out that all your conviction and commitment to some crazy idea was just due to an invented … story… it's truly shocking. To put it a bit melodramatically: that process ‘fractures’ the self. There are some episodes in my life when I think back and what is “me” is just that weird person in a fantasy world obsessing about extremely far-fetched threats and problems. So getting better from a mental health condition is partially a weird feeling, and not such a simple matter of happiness like when you return from physical illness to good physical health… in my case because it's connected with so much regret. (I hope that wasn't too insensitive … making this all about my first world problems.) I'm pretty sure that I don't have any self-love. Though that doesn't feel depressing, I'm just in a neutral state towards my self. It's interesting that you “identify” (?) so much with your body. I don't… otherwise I could say I'm strong, but that would be applying paleolithic standards. Applying modern standards you are the strong one.
  9. DeltaV

    Does aromanticism affect appearance?

    I like to look attractive, but then it still has to fit my personality. The saying is “better overdressed than underdressed” … well I also hate sticking out by being overdressed. I wouldn't call it more mature. What counts as “hygiene” today is just crazy, imho. Of course you submit to those standards, but we should seriously get more relaxed about it. I guess in 1930 someone smelly was like REALLY nasty… (antiperspirants back then was just something for women). Now today admitting that you just shower every other day is a major embarrassment. This hasn't anything to do with health. Nothing. And it harms the environment in such a stupid, unnecessary way. The fact that 1970s deodorants is still doing harm (via ozone depletion) is simply insane. Other environmental damage at least had a more important justification than “stinky armpits”. That's some seriously screwed up priorities. Personally, I prefer people who smell a bit funky to… skin cancer. Shaving is another issue. Shaving foam from a can + cartridge razors (or even worse: disposable razors) = I just can't. I use a safety razor and create my own lather from shaving soap. While using a safety razor takes some skill, everybody can use shaving soap or cream. There's no excuse for shaving foam cans, no excuse for disposable razors. They should be banned. I actually use Feather – extremely sharp. I only need two of those blades per week! Sweeny Todd style (straight razor) would be even better but I am too scared. (end of off-topic rant)
  10. DeltaV

    Art Thread

    @TheThing ok, thanks. I know the error message from the beginning of the Steve Jobs movie.
  11. DeltaV

    Aromanticism and Religion

    To answer the original post, I don't identify with a religion and I didn't really grew up in a religion. Aside from a few formalities of a Protestant Christian denomination. Confirmation was boring and it seems the pastor himself was either an atheist or sublimated his faith to the point it became evanescent. It felt more like an odd cultural thing to me. I agree with Aleister Crowley's last words “I'm perplexed” … so I'm probably a hard agnostic. IMHO reality is beyond human comprehension and the idea that the universe is fundamentally a mechanistic-materialistic entity is probably just another dead end (but at least it's useful ). Here is the other religion thread. Yes, I agree. Still, at least in my view, it's very normal for humans to believe things without evidence (whatever ‘evidence’ means anyway…e.g. is there ‘evidence’ that there are only five platonic solids?… ‘evidence’ for other minds?). They do it all the time. So I don't suffer from “moralized rationality”. It was mainly just genuine curiosity what motivates people to accept beliefs for which there isn't even a living tradition, as in neopaganism.
  12. DeltaV

    Art Thread

    @TheThing lol that error message, where did you get that?
  13. DeltaV

    Aromanticism and Religion

    Well, we already had a thread like this. Which turned nasty, because I said that I find it very weird that people genuinely worship Loki. That much should be allowed, right? 😌 Oh no… what did I say? Nothing, I said nothing, haha. I mean, in a way it's kind of cute: @Jot-Aro Kujo believes in many gods, @aro_elise in exactly one, @mythlady in none and we accept each other, very nice. The one thing that bugs me though is: the moment all those very different and hard-incompatible world views and religions do not boil down to (roughly) the same ethics… it's all over. So how does that work? Is it like “Yeah, maybe Loki listens to your prayers. Who can prove you wrong? But we damn sure know that Aquinas was wrong with his ethics!” …… Really? / hopefully that doesn't result in another flame-war. I tried to be very diplomatic!
  14. DeltaV

    Harmful Romance Movie Tropes

    “tv tropes: Oblivious to Love” I'd say Eren Yeager from Attack on Titan takes the cake. Casca / Guts from Berserk?
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