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DeltaV

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About DeltaV

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Personal Information

  • Gender
    male
  • Pronouns
    he
  • Romanticism
    aro

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  1. Your scores: Care 89% Loyalty 11% Fairness 47% Authority 3% Purity 33% Liberty 81% Your strongest moral foundation is Care. Your morality is closest to that of a Libertarian.
  2. Though how do you know that? I only “know” that I’m a man in the sense that my biological sex seems to be male. Certainly I don’t feel an internal sense of gender. Well, transgender theory is very complex and subtle, there are no authoritative sources, there are many inconsistencies how in different contexts the terms (male, female, etc.) are used and it is an extremely polarized issue. If we only look at the Wikipedia situation: … something does not add up here. Also, if the natal bureaucracy would have assigned “female” at birth to me, I would not feel like a trans man. I would just feel someone made an extremely obvious mistake here. Like if they spelled my family name in a wrong way.
  3. It refers to romantic attraction, which is difficult to grasp. I believe that there is something like romantic attraction, but if it were definitely proven that it doesn’t exist, I would still feel aromantic. Bu the disconnection happens to occur in a specific sense, namely “the full romantic program is not executed”, not in some other way which doesn’t fit the normative societal expectations. This is what all arospec orientations like grayromantic, akoiromantic, frayromantic, etc. seem to have in common: romance = lacking / absent / less pronounced / incomplete (no other way to put it … that sounds very normative). It’s even called theistic Satanism, to differentiate it from the LaVey version of Satanism, which is atheistic.
  4. Yes, you’re right… it’s about Mars and I liked that one very much. The remake was a victim of the Mars Curse, though.
  5. Oh that one… The Martian was one of the few successful movies about Mars, and probably the only one I liked so far. I never watched John Carter, but I’ll give it a chance.
  6. What is the worst romantic movie you’ve yet encountered? I vote for The Space Between Us. I only watched it because it’s about Mars. Though movies about the Red Planet tend to suck (and include some of the worst office bombs as John Carter on place 7 and Mars Needs Moms on place 18 for loss adjusted to inflation), which is called the Mars Curse. And oh dear, this is no exception. It probably does not get any cheesier, cringier and clunkier than that. And why Britt Robertson, who is in her late twenties, and clearly looks like a grown adult woman, plays a high school girl is a mystery to me. To be fair The Space Between Us was very unintentionally funny and so still kind of entertaining. Highly regarded romantic movies just tend to bore me.
  7. Some acronyms like YMBA (you might be aro…).
  8. That asocality is associated with aromanticism is pretty obvious. A strong reverse association OTOH would only exist if aromantic traits were as rare as asocial traits, which I doubt. Asociality is also a trait that really sticks out, while aromanticism is subtle enough that if you fit into the norm otherwise (allosexual straight, cis, social, no mental health problems, etc.) you probably never come across the term and adopt this still obscure label. So online aro communities at this time don’t really reflect the general aromantic population.
  9. A strange interest in the Mosuo people.
  10. DeltaV

    Tea thread

    Today I tried a tea from Nepal and one from the Nilgiri region. The Nepal tasted exactly like a Darjeeling, and the Nilgiri exactly like a high grown Ceylon. Probably I overestimated my skills as a tea connoisseur.
  11. If it only was as easy like with other things we find childish and boring… sigh. Romantic love is a serious matter in many other ways… that’s how people find their life partners. And it’s not boring but sad if you find yourself strangely unimportant compared to your friend’s crush they know for three weeks. Really … it sometimes feels like I live in a parallel universe where nothing makes any sense. If a couple discusses things like a joint mortgage I cannot imagine how it probably has all started with the typical cheesy stuff …… maybe even baby talk. cringe.
  12. DeltaV

    Tea thread

    “Aren’t you drinking?” “I never drink… coffee.” Raspberry tea is not camellia sinensis. Bad! Oolong is good, though I like it more on the black side. I like the true milky oolong.
  13. Sex without commitment is a behavior, while “aromantic sexual” describes a certain enduring pattern of sexual and romantic attraction (← ok for aros this is defined by the absence of romantic attraction). That’s the difference. For me my aromantic allosexuality does lead to sex without commitment though I certainly don’t have some wild sex life. I don’t like it that way … and so it’s tempting to say “Why do you do it then?”. I don’t want a romantic relationship, in fact I couldn’t get one (non-disastrous) if I tried. Also sex strangely complicates human relationships, so it’s only realistic with people who are not emotionally close to me. Since I like sex and I would get same disapproval by society even if I made a vow of celibacy, I don’t see any reason to change. The romance + sex package may perhaps “ennoble sex”, but it comes at a cost: “Is not having enough sex a good reason to break up?” is considered a normal question (and “Is cheating a good reason to break up?” is a rhetorical question*). I can’t compute how people don’t see that sex with commitment also means in reverse that you commit a very important relationship to sex. That’s imho the darkest side of allo-allo romance – I’m committed to my friends and I don’t care one bit for their sexual orientation, their libido or whom they sleep with. * probably most aros can understand that cheating means breaking a promise (though AFAIK [I have very few first-hand experience of romantic relationship] this promise is rarely explicitly given) and therefore is bad. But that doesn’t explain the gravity allo-allos attach to cheating.
  14. If I could magically choose… I would prefer to stay aromantic. I’m now at an age when people get serious and think of marriage, while I have no real relationship experience. Either people were my “friends” (ok, to be less cynical there are two who don’t deserve the scare quotes). Or it was very shallow (just sex, without any illusions). How should I catch up now? I also sometimes experience loneliness badly. But at least I don’t feel any bitterness or resentment that I missed a major life goal. Romantic relationships feel very alien to me. I simply do not want any. I’m 150% sure. It’s not that I just convinced myself because I didn’t get one. I just miss deep, meaningful non-romantic connections.
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