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About NullVector

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    male ones
  • Romanticism
    probably aro
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  1. NullVector

    How various sexualities view aro

    I guess it depends how strictly you define 'astrology'. The article mentions that: Well, it's not really clear from that if they considered celestial bodies to have a direct , ongoing influence over terrestrial events and/or the fates of people; let alone a formal system for working these out. I can't see examples of either in the article itself, but it also wouldn't surprise me if there were such examples recorded elsewhere (as in: it's not such a big jump from 'religious and/or mythological meaning' to 'influences my life and events around me').
  2. NullVector

    If you could take a pill...

    Haha. I actually would be tempted to try a 'gay pill', for reasons mentioned here.
  3. NullVector

    Real friends with benefits are a rarity

    Yeah, same. Ideally I would: make friends with girl(s) based upon shared interests gently broach possibility of 'benefits' (lol) In practice, I always end up with waaay more male friends as my interests are stereotypically 'male'. Did physics at uni and my course was 90%+ male. Now work with computers and my colleagues are 90%+ male. So I'm 'playing' with crappy odds - and that's without even factoring in all the problems around romantic assumptions ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  4. Yeah, this is precisely what makes me think that certain things would be easier for me if I were gay! Two men or two women are effectively forced to negotiate gender roles at the start of a romantic relationship, as there is no obvious 'default' to adopt, which is a good thing, IMO (or, I suppose that as a gay person you can indicate what sort of 'default' you would prefer, by fashion choices and/or mannerisms; point being that biological sex isn't determining any pre-defined gender roles here). Whereas in heterosexual relationships the male-female defaults would tend to get assumed (unless you are constantly actively challenging them, which could get exhausting after a while?). I feel like adopting the default 'female' role would make it easier for me personally (as a male aro) to start a romantic relationship, as I wouldn't be expected to actively initiate romantic gestures (which feels very inauthentic to me); rather it would be acceptable to more passively receive them and identify where my boundaries were, if I were being 'wooed'. But, um, I don't really know, that might have its own challenges (be careful what you wish for, lol). In terms of belonging to a more visible, cohesive community where it was easier to talk about this stuff IRL: yeah, that might be nice
  5. NullVector

    This Just Came to Mind

    I think 'days won' is the total of the days where you got the most likes/reactions on your comments for that day out of all the site members. If your posts got the most likes/reactions on a given day then you 'won' that day, I think.
  6. NullVector

    How various sexualities view aro

    I found another one.
  7. NullVector


    @Tagor it was around 15 minutes, according to wikipedia: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_marshmallow_experiment
  8. Morpheus will be in touch Seriously though, I would also find it interesting to meet other aros, out there in 'the desert of the real'. That's cool, was it somebody you met online through groups like this and they just happened to live nearby? Also a cool idea. Maybe you could even write a book about it? Sort of like an 'Are you Dave Gorman?' for aros I'm 32, nearly 33 Yeah, this. Plus not necessarily having the words readily available to describe our inner experiences. On account of them being fenced off for use within the asexual community somewhat, which many aros may not belong to or identify with.
  9. NullVector

    Not a frigid spinster?!

    @James White has his sexuality down as "Heterosexual, but so aro it doesn't even matter" on his profile, which I think several of us on here find super relatable! Maybe you can say the same for you and pansexual? Have you isolated the (a)romantic gene(s) in fruit flies?
  10. NullVector

    You might be aro if...

    "she just doesn't understand me like you do"
  11. NullVector

    Not a frigid spinster?!

    Hi . Your story sounds familiar! Same. Always pushed it down to the bottom of my priorities! "I'll get around to that later, after I've ..." Also figured for a while I was just too cowardly to push myself to try dating, but it doesn't really fit. I've pushed myself to do other things that scare me. But with those things, there was an intrinsic motivation to overcome the fear, which seems to be what's lacking in the case of dating... Haha. This is also the exact same way I came across aromantic as a thing. I had a similar MIND BLOWN moment It's a big issue IMO that sexual people are pretty unlikely to have familiarity with concepts that were developed within the asexual community. Which is a shame as they are quite helpful for sexual aromatics! That's pretty cool. Have you isolated the gene(s) for (a)romanticism yet?
  12. Yeah, this, definitely this! @Megan so, um, it's been a week or so since you posted, any update on your situation?
  13. Hi! I read it. I didn't spot any grammar or spelling mistakes I think it's okay to take your time to figure things out (and maybe we can help a little if you stick around? ). I dunno, maybe just have a bit more self belief that you intuitively know what's right for you? You shouldn't have to feel guilty for not living in a way that other people do, if it doesn't feel right for you. That's the general vibe I'm getting, that you're just a bit lacking in confidence that what you feel is right for you now is really 'okay' and is a valid choice. And regarding this sort of thing: I think at this point it's totally fine to say to your father something like, "it makes me really uncomfortable when you say things like that, please can you stop". Aha, yes, what you are actually missing... is ICE CREAM
  14. NullVector

    If you could take a pill...

    I find it interesting that you included depression in that list. If I broke my arm (for example) and there was some sort of star-trek-esque medical machine that would fix it instantly (or Harry Potter spell, lol), it wouldn't really feel wrong to me, or like 'cheating', to use it. I guess depression is different to this somehow, but how/why? I'm getting kinda off-topic here, but since I asked you about it a while back, I was reading more about dysthymia and I do seem to match most of the diagnostic criteria . But (unlike aro, say) I wouldn't identify it as a core part of my personality, because I remember a version of me a few years back that didn't show those symptoms (had more energy, more passion for life, did more things with more joy, didn't sometimes struggle to get out of bed, etc) and I'd like to get that person back. Not sure if it's the same for you? Actually, some psychologists (e.g. this one) encourage people to actively dis-identify with depression, do the opposite of what 'it' 'wants' you to do, see it as an 'other', that has kind of temporarily 'possessed' you. I mean, if a pill could 'exorcise' that, turn off the inner voice that tells you to stay in bed all day, gave you back the energy to go out and interact with people (and was side-effect free, big if!), would it still feel wrong to take it?
  15. NullVector

    Corrupt a Wish

    You are given a pan of platecakes instead. It hurts to eat them. I wish to be able to understand and speak in any language.