Jump to content


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


About NullVector

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Personal Information

  • Gender
  • Pronouns
    male ones
  • Romanticism
    probably aro
  • Sexuality

Recent Profile Visitors

1,380 profile views
  1. NullVector

    Good day!

    Cool. What languages do you speak?
  2. NullVector

    Good day!

    Hi @Matryoshka, welcome to arocalypse! What subject was your degree?
  3. @Miro your post reminds me of some things other people here have said. You might like this thread.
  4. Does breaking up or getting divorced also make you happier? (I mean, it's not as if those aren't common outcomes of romantic relationships - so these are maybe not the most reliable path to stable, long-term happiness!). Also, what makes the average person happy has no bearing on what would (or worse 'ought') to make an individual happy. Most people aren't aromantic. It wouldn't surprise me if the average allo-romantic person was measurably happier in a romantic relationship than not in one. But, for aromantics, the opposite wouldn't surprise me! So, the studies, even if methodologically and empirically valid, would be irrelevant for aromantics.
  5. NullVector

    Real friends with benefits are a rarity

    So, how did you get to know one another?
  6. NullVector

    Aromantic Moments

    I think the issue with 'cheating' is that there has been an (implicit or explicit) agreement made to have a monogamous relationship. So it's a breach of trust if one of the partners breaks that agreement. An open relationship is completely different to 'cheating' IMO. If it has been discussed and agreed that those are the terms of the relationship then 'seeing other people' isn't 'cheating' i.e. breaking the rules of an agreement. It's playing by those rules - by definition it's playing fairly and not cheating! I agree that monogamy is essentially arbitrary and don't see why something true of friendship (you can have more than one friend at once) shouldn't be true of sexual relationships more often. People should feel more free to discuss and adopt the type of relationship they actually want and not just assume a standard template. Tangentially, it's interesting to speculate on what the reasons for the 'standard template' could be. I was doing that here a while ago.
  7. NullVector

    Aromantic Character Headcanons

    Can you elaborate? What is it that you hate about it?
  8. Interesting... I guess @Tagor's 'theory' about how people discover marginalised identities would predict it. I'm not familiar with the Aven site at all - anyone here know of any data on male:female membership ratio for it?
  9. Yeah, I think you're probably right @Tagor. Also, women talk a lot more about their emotions than men in general, I reckon; romance being just one aspect of that. Conversely, a man might get the idea that he is unusually romantic and none of his friends are particularly romantic, as they hardly ever talk about their romantic feelings (even if they have them). Similarly, if he isn't particularly romantic himself, he may grow up thinking that he is perfectly normal in this regard i.e. think that his male friends don't talk about romantic feelings because they also don't have them (rather than because of make socialization and gendered expectations, which strikes me as a much more likely explanation). So it might take him far longer to come to the conclusion that he is unusual in some way and explore aromanticism. I actually don't think men are inherently any less romantic than women. Actually, it wouldn't surprise me if they were inherently more romantic! And if women were instead evolutionarily biased to take more 'pragmatic' factors into consideration when selecting mates (with pregnancy being a short-term survival risk, it could be comparatively more important for women to (probably sub-consciously) take such 'un-romantic' factors as men's social status into account when selecting sexual partners?)
  10. NullVector

    How various sexualities view aro

    I guess it depends how strictly you define 'astrology'. The article mentions that: Well, it's not really clear from that if they considered celestial bodies to have a direct , ongoing influence over terrestrial events and/or the fates of people; let alone a formal system for working these out. I can't see examples of either in the article itself, but it also wouldn't surprise me if there were such examples recorded elsewhere (as in: it's not such a big jump from 'religious and/or mythological meaning' to 'influences my life and events around me').
  11. NullVector

    If you could take a pill...

    Haha. I actually would be tempted to try a 'gay pill', for reasons mentioned here.
  12. NullVector

    Real friends with benefits are a rarity

    Yeah, same. Ideally I would: make friends with girl(s) based upon shared interests gently broach possibility of 'benefits' (lol) In practice, I always end up with waaay more male friends as my interests are stereotypically 'male'. Did physics at uni and my course was 90%+ male. Now work with computers and my colleagues are 90%+ male. So I'm 'playing' with crappy odds - and that's without even factoring in all the problems around romantic assumptions ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  13. Yeah, this is precisely what makes me think that certain things would be easier for me if I were gay! Two men or two women are effectively forced to negotiate gender roles at the start of a romantic relationship, as there is no obvious 'default' to adopt, which is a good thing, IMO (or, I suppose that as a gay person you can indicate what sort of 'default' you would prefer, by fashion choices and/or mannerisms; point being that biological sex isn't determining any pre-defined gender roles here). Whereas in heterosexual relationships the male-female defaults would tend to get assumed (unless you are constantly actively challenging them, which could get exhausting after a while?). I feel like adopting the default 'female' role would make it easier for me personally (as a male aro) to start a romantic relationship, as I wouldn't be expected to actively initiate romantic gestures (which feels very inauthentic to me); rather it would be acceptable to more passively receive them and identify where my boundaries were, if I were being 'wooed'. But, um, I don't really know, that might have its own challenges (be careful what you wish for, lol). In terms of belonging to a more visible, cohesive community where it was easier to talk about this stuff IRL: yeah, that might be nice
  14. NullVector

    This Just Came to Mind

    I think 'days won' is the total of the days where you got the most likes/reactions on your comments for that day out of all the site members. If your posts got the most likes/reactions on a given day then you 'won' that day, I think.
  15. NullVector

    How various sexualities view aro

    I found another one.