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Holmbo

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About Holmbo

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Personal Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    she
  • Location
    Nyköping, Sweden
  • Occupation
    Urban planner
  • Romanticism
    Aro
  • Sexuality
    Gray ace

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  1. How do you find people interested in polly relationships?
  2. Just saw the new adaptation of little women. It's a beautiful movie but I couldn't help being a little sad thinking about Louisa May Alcott. She would have been much happier had she been alive today I think.

    1. NullVector

      NullVector

      I liked it too. There's a particular scene I found unexpectedly relatable. Louisa/Jo is saying to her mother that she really doesn't want to compromise her freedom by loving a partner in the way her society forces her to; but at the same time, she is "so lonely". And I was like, huh, that's not so different from the modern quandry that amatonormativity places on aros :|

  3. Even before I realized I was aro, monogamy seemed strange to me. Why restrict your relationships like that. I suppose I could see myself having a very unique relationship with someone where we shared some experiences only with each other. But that would have to come naturally.
  4. Are you happy in your current life and relationship? If so you might not want to change anything. Your relationship are meaningful without romantic love and you don't really need to "come clean" or anything like that if you don't want to. That's my thoughts.
  5. I've written before on this forum that I don't care if people read romantic interest into my behavior, that I don't want to limit myself. But despite this I feel like I am holding back with people, not really allowing myself to be as open or friendly as I could be. This is particularly true about people I don't know yet. I often enjoy meeting new people and am comfortable chatting with someone I don't know. But I can't shake the feeling that if I'm being too friendly it will seem like flirting, even though when I look at it objectively I don't think I'm doing anything out of the ordinary. Does anyone else have similar problem?
  6. What did y'all think of the latest season? For me it was my least favorite, but that might change upon rewatch. Maybe once the next season is out I'll go back and see foreshadowing and introduced characters introduced this season.
  7. I think you're right. I have thought of queerbaiting mostly in terms of relationships between characters, but I suppose it could just as well be about portraying one character as queer.
  8. @Shyshy As with every relationship communication is key. Try to as each other what you both want in the relationship. for example it might be useful to read about the different love languages and talk to each other about how you like to display and receive affection.
  9. Yeah I think it's hard to get a critical mass to get it going. I personally use couchsurfing to meet people since the people on there are in general not looking for dates.
  10. Interesting topic. I found it difficult to choose since I feel like each friendship is different. For example, I've had people I considered friends which I mostly only met at parties. Those friendship still has value to me even if I didn't necessarily have any interest in deepening them. It's not better or worse than a deeper friendship, just different. I suppose the basic requirements for me in a friendship are the two categories you put first: -A person/people with whom you can have fun with -A person/people to hang out with I couldn't see myself being friends with someone if I didn't like hanging out with them. Maybe that sounds like a given, but I don't think it has to be. Some might be able to form close bonds with someone just by corresponding with each other, never having met or done shared activities. And some might feel a close connection with one they only spend time around a lot, not necessarily interacting with each other that much. The other options are things I also want, but not necessarily from most of my friends. I would be fine with having a separate friend for each of these points. For example one person who I feel have a similar world view as me that I could talk to about certain thoughts I have. Another that maybe I don't have much in common with but that I have a relationship of mutual care with. And maybe a third one for physical closeness.
  11. I agree. But it's not always larger. For example I'd consider platonic non-sexual. While a friendship could involve sex.
  12. And when we do try to give advice or understand we might very well be dismissed with. "Well, you've never been in love so you don't know what it's like."
  13. Some background to why I'm asking this question: Me and my family had a Christmas lottery with books; each person provided one book that we put in a sack and then took turns to pick one each. I got a non fiction comic book about how society's view on romantic love and partnership has shifted and the authors thoughts about reasons why people might have trouble finding love. I thought the book was very well done, funny and thought provoking. But I'm unsure if I can apply any of it to my own life. It always feel like society makes out romantic relationships to be some kind of one of a kind feeling, totally different from any other type of relationship. When you read some kind of advice or study about romantic relationship, do you feel like it is applicable on other types of relationships?
  14. We understand! I'm sorry you're met with this much judgment. It's their problem they feel that way, you can't fix them.
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