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About Holmbo

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    Advanced Member

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    Nyköping, Sweden
  • Occupation
    Urban planner
  • Romanticism
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    Gray ace

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  1. What's your favorite book?

    The rules didn't say anything about what kind of book it had to be. Anything bound I'd say goes Such a mix of book types. Maybe I should make this thread a too-read-list. To broaden my horizons.
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  3. What's your favorite book?

    I've never understood the appeal of the kind of threads were everyone just list stuff they like without comments. But they are fairly common so I suppose I'm the odd one out there in finding it super boring.
  4. What's your favorite book?

    @Arocalypse you forgot the second part. Everyone who comments, please post why because otherwise it will be a super boring thread IMO.
  5. What's your favorite book?

    What's your favorite book and why? Mine is The Dispossessed by Ursula K Le Guin. In the story there are two twin planets where one has very sparse resources and an anarchist society and the other is rich with many different nations. The two planets are closed of from each other. The main character is a physicist from the anarchists who choose to visit the other world. I like that Le Guin makes up a very interesting society which is compelling but also flawed. The struggles of the main character is very engaging, there's so much conflict but also so much love and enjoyment. It's also beautifully written with lots of themes about freedom and its limitations. Warning: there's romance in the book, but very little.
  6. Avalentine's Day/Friendship Day?

    Today is Friendship day! According to the UN. Happy friendship day!
  7. Feeling less vulnerable?

    How scientific it all got now. I don't know much about the theory of different approaches of psychology or philosophy. I'm just sharing what's worked for me. I think it's useful to have emotions when you're in a situation. But after the situation is over and you probably never going to see that person again (if we're still going by the example of the disturbing stranger) there's no reason to still feel angry at them, or worse: at yourself. IT IS very hard to distract ones emotions. If some situation has made me scared or angry I just want to replay it in my mind and think of what I said or did and why, what I maybe should have done instead, what would have happened if the situation continued. But I seldom find it helpful. I think we all have enough stress in our lives not to rehash stressful encounters were we did nothing wrong. I just try to switch my mind from it as quick as possible. Try to go through some complicated song lyric in my mind or take up a book and start reading. I hope this is not too off topic for you @Untamed Heart. I think what I want to say is that if you feel you didn't stand up for yourself when you wanted to, don't beat yourself up about it. You did nothing wrong.
  8. Those are great I wish I had some to share in return but I can't think of any.
  9. There are some lists on this forum of movies without romantic stories in them. I feel like there's also another category which aros could enjoy which is movies with messages against romantic love. Movies where the protagonist is in a bad romantic relationship and then leaves for the freedom and personal growth of being single. I know many examples of this but one that comes to mind, because I watched it last night, is 28 days with Sandra Bulock, where she is sentenced to rehab and has to confront her past and her addictions. She has this destructive romantic relationship which she holds on to because he is the only person that cares about her.
  10. What would you say to your younger self?

    Whenever I do the hypothetical scenario of being able to talk to a younger me, or going back in time and living my life again, I always get stuck in such theorizing like time paradoxes and changing history. I always start with the small thoughts, like that I would tell that popular guy what a creep he was when he talked about Catcher in the Rye and he agreed with the protagonists view about girls and sex. But then I go into how if I was around at the time of some big disasters I'd have to warn people and how would I go about that. And also how would I make lots of money and influence the direction of society.
  11. Feeling less vulnerable?

    Lots of advice about physical self defense here. I can't add anything to that, I've fought like once in my life and neither of us was in any danger. A lot of conflict can be non-physical though. Sometimes there isn't even a clear conflict, just something that might make one feel insecure or small. A way I've dealt with insecurity over the years is to try to imagine a confident person and then act like how they would act. If I were ever in a situation when I felt insecure or uncomfortable I'd ask myself "if I were a confident person what would I do". Usually it just resulted in a small change to my posture or something like that but it also helped get me in a mindset of being confident. Another thing that has helped me is to try to focus my feelings on the things I can control. For example if someone acts rude or creepy that's their action. I can confront them or I can not. But either way I try not to dwell on it but to move my thoughts on to something else.
  12. Sounds good, but we can't reproduce. Because our kids wont be aro so then it's ruined. We will have to take in people from outside, like a monastery.
  13. I feel like zombies should be gluttony. Since they have sort of the endless hunger and just wants to eat everyone. Vampires feel much more tied to other sorts of "sins" like lust and greed and pride.
  14. Aro marriage: to subvert, or to dismantle?

    That's so cool. I've been planning to read Island for some timem. I should get to it.
  15. Fanfiction...

    I read Harry Potter and the Methods of rationality which I found very fascinating. I'm not sure I'd recommend it because it is Really weird. No romance or sex in it though, cause most of the characters are 11. It's this alternative HP story where Harry is a child genius (for reasons the story later reveals) who's spend his childhood learning muggle science and is trying to use that to make sense of the wizarding world. Other than that I haven't read much, but I approve of fanfic in general. I think it's a good way for someone to work on their writing skills and show appreciation for some content.