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Holmbo

Member
  • Content Count

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About Holmbo

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Personal Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    she
  • Location
    Nyköping, Sweden
  • Occupation
    Urban planner
  • Romanticism
    Aro
  • Sexuality
    Gray ace

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. Holmbo

    Aromanticism effect on social skills

    Not at all. The reason I made the post is because I think being aro affects my social skills. I can't speak as freely about some topics as most people since I don't have the same preference. For example if I talk to someone about my life plans people won't get it unless they know the context of me not planning to ever have a significant other. This limits my ability for small talk.
  2. A crush! Get out of here! Na just kidding. Maybe you'd like to stay anyway. Give us some allo perspective
  3. I agree! The problem is also that lot of people might be aro without knowing it. So the best symbols would probably be really obvious ones like t-shirts with anti-romantic quotes on them or something It can also be helpful to "come out" to people whenever given the opportunity. I told an acquaintance I was aro and he revealed that he also thought he might be and we had a really nice discussion about it and from there became friends. Now he's in a romantic relationship which takes a lot of his time unfortunately, so having aro friends is no guarantee they wont prioritize a romantic relationship over you.
  4. There went that theory. Interesting that not as many men feel the need to talk about their asexuality either. Maybe it's dependent on which forums men vs women prefer? For example there are probably more men on reddit, they might write about asexuality and aromanticism there.
  5. I wonder if that means there are more guys in the ace forums?
  6. Holmbo

    Oops! Uh oh! Yikes!

    When reading this line I sang it with the melody Killing me softly
  7. I think it's a good idea to have a shared book for aro and ace. Because your sexual orientation will be essential for your experience as aro and vice versa.
  8. Holmbo

    Wanting internet friends

    On this topic. Is it easier to befriend someone if you're in a more anonymous forum, like this one, or if you're in one with your picture and public info visible? I think I might like to make an internet friend too, but I'm kinda specific in the friendship I'm looking for. Is there any place where one can speed date for internet friends?
  9. Holmbo

    The Expanse tv show

  10. Holmbo

    update: aro in romantic relationship

    This is a difficult situation and I don't think you should feel bad about giving in to pressure. I read your earlier post and it seems to me like you are pretty set on not being in a romantic relationship. This sentence stood out for me "They told me a relationship was about give and take, which made me feel guilty because they gave up a lot to be in a relationship with me, like cuddling and frequent physical and verbal affirmations they would probably typically receive in a romantic relationship." I'm in no way a relationship expert but I think the give and take aspect should not be something one does begrudgingly. It's supposed to feel good to give something to your partner, not like a sacrifice. I've been in similar situations before. My first (and only serious) boyfriend which I dated for a year. I never felt romantic love for him but I cared about him and wanted to experience a relationship. I'd feel guilty about not having romantic feelings for him and not being as attached to him as he was with me. This made me compromise a lot about my own feelings and comfort. After a year I realized that it wasn't what I wanted and I broke up with him. He was devastated, almost suicidal, and clung desperately to our relationship. I wanted to still be friends and he wanted too, but everytime we met he'd feel sad about our break-up and ask for romantic interaction. Eventually I just had to break it off completely. The reason I'm sharing this is as an example that it can be really difficult for Allos to go from romantic relationship to platonic. If you break up you might have to break entirely, cut all contact. I understand that this would be difficult as you live so close to each other and have many friends in common. I wish I had some solid advice for it. All I can say is that I understand what you're going through and I think you should not feel guilty about doing what feels right for you.
  11. I was thinking about connections to aromanticism and social skills. How are your social skills and do you feel like aromanticism has effected them?
  12. I feel like I could never have become anything other than aro. But I also feel like it's part of my personality and we know personality can change. In the book Sex at Dawn the authors writes about research of sexual orientation, among other things. It has been shown in studies that in general female sexuality is more fluid than male. Females can acually change from say heterosexual to bisexual over life. While males are more influenced by early sexual experiences. If sexual orientation can change then maybe romantic can too.
  13. Holmbo

    Willpower

    Our values inform our wants, do they not?
  14. Holmbo

    Early but asking anyway - Halloween plans?

    I was just thinking about Halloween today. Yesterday me and my friend organized a party at her place and today we talked about how good it had been and I said I wanted to have one at my place. Then I realized, hey Halloween is only two months away, maybe I should send out an event invite already. I don't know who I'd dress up as.
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