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LJ_84

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About LJ_84

  • Rank
    Newbie

Personal Information

  • Name
    Luka Jesse
  • Gender
    Transmasculine genderneutral/neutrois
  • Pronouns
    he/him, er,
  • Location
    Germany
  • Romanticism
    aromantic
  • Sexuality
    grey-ace androsexual

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  1. Can you ask in a different way because I don't get what you want from me?
  2. I feel very similar. I just started feeling sexual attraction and so far it only happened twice. I do found the persons aesthetically attractive as well. I can not tell what exactly makes me find them sexy; I just notice that there are people who I find only aesthetically attractive and some I found also sexually attractive. I also would not act upon it until I know the person well. But I do have fantasies. (Oddly with someone I only find aesthetically attractive?) For me it's still difficult to seperate between sexual attraction and libido. Because when I do experience sexual attraction, I do feel a little arousal. I feel a tingle feeling in my stomach and hot between my legs *blushes*. I've been celibate for 10 years. Before transition my libido was very low but now since I'm on T it has increased. But still won't act on it until I have a platonic bond with the person I picture
  3. I knew I was aro when I was 17 although I didn't know that something like this existed. Let me guess, they came off with the "late bloomer" argument eh? I heard the same. And "You're only shy!" -.- I tried to explain to my only friend that I just didn't have interest in relationships but she didn't get it. She even started to try to match me up with boys without my knowing! And this boys crazy stuff, I know too. I just don't get why girls change their boyfriend every week?! (Yes, it really was like this) Or like my friend, flirting, kissing, making out with literally strangers she only knew a few hours, days! In my opinion that was not only slutty but also dangerous. My advice: Try to talk to your friends again and show them that it's not "just a phase". That you seriously has no interest into relationships. One day they'll accept it. In my case, my friend stopped after a while, after I called her out and stated again and again that I wasn't fucking interested into this relationship and flirting stuff. She still thought I was just shy, but at least she stopped to try to couple me up with some boy -.-
  4. First time I kinda came out was when I was 17 but didn't know the term yet or that something like aromanticism even exists. A friend told me that it was weird that I haven't had a boyfriend yet although I was "already" 17. (I'm afab) And she added "You haven't even kissed a boy yet!!!" Me: "Why should I wanted to do that? It seems disgusting" She:" So do you like girls then? I'd be fine with it as long as you don't crush on me" (sick) Me: "No. I'm just not interested in romantic relationships with anyone." She: "Naaah. You are just shy" -.- Yeah... Off topic: What bothers me a lot is, when people tell you how they see you "crush" on someone and won't change their opinion no matter how often you tell them "I just wanna be friends with them!" -.- Just a few years ago I learned the term aromantic, and I then came out to my friends on FB with a poem Some of them didn't understand it really, and I got the "You will find someone one day!" "One day you meet someone and fall in love"-bullshit. I then explained again to my friend that this won't happen and I'm not into romantic relationships at all (I'm also romance repulsed) and then she got it. Funny side note: After my coming outs, a talked with a friend I just had met, and mentioned the troubles you have when you try to explain asexuality and aromanticism to people, and she said "What do you think I had to hear from friends and family that I'm over 30 and never had a boyfriend?" I was like "Wait, what? You're aro ace too???" (She seems to not know the terms but explained it, so that's when I told her that there are terms for it.) Gender coming out to a friend. I mentioned that I was afraid because of that some "friends" have stopped talking to me since I came out. He: "You worry to much about things. Everything is fine!" Gave me a brotherly hug and that was it. Later the night he wanted to introduce me to a friend of him and just called me his "buddy from Germany". I was like "Yo, now he's forgotten my name!" He clearly didn't want to misgender me. Another friend told me in messenger after coming out: "Now I can say it. When we met first it was odd to see you in a dress. That just wasn't right. And I never could get used to your name. It hasn't suit you. You'll always be L. and a boy in my eyes!" <3
  5. Complicated topic... When I was a teenager, friends often told me how I was crushing on someone but I always told them that it wasn't like this! I'd say it was a squish. I think people can experience this very differently. For me it's like: I want to spend time together, to get to know them better, I think a lot about them, I'm happy when I see them, want to hug them. I also do feel jealous sometimes. At the moment I'm squishing on someone who's actually a celebrity but I see him just as a normal guy, and because of that in my younger years I never could befriend boys (because I'm trans and they "don't want to play with girls") I sometimes do get jealous when I see he shares pictures of time with his friends and how much fun he had. It hurts in a way and makes me sad because I want to hang out and doing funny boys stuff too with him. Do I make sense? One thing has left me a bit confused. It sounds like some people have squishes on people they are already friends with. Wouldn't it stop if you reached that goal to be close friends with the person you squish on? Like don't alloromantic people stop crushing on a person when they enter a romantic relationship with their target? Like the crush changes into romantic love? Is this possible?
  6. What I never understand, why people get crushes on people they can not have anyway? Like because it's a celebrity or this person is currently in relationship or has a sexual orientation what excludes your gender? When I have a sexual crush on someone (is there a word for that?) and then find out that he's straight, I somehow just stop having feelings for him. It wouldn't make sense to be attracted if he would never be attracted to me. I only have platonic feelings then. *shrug* Someone else experience this?
  7. What the hell is a celebrity crush?! I'm a huge HIM fan and when I was young everybody thought I had a crush on Ville. Like no? I don't have romantic fantasies? I just wanna talk with him about poetry and our favourite writers
  8. I once had a friend who cried about her partner that he never had time for her and doesn't care for their child and so on. She sounded very sad and frustated, so I said "Why don't you break up with him then and kick him off your home?" She gave me a really shocked look and said "How can you say that?! I love him!" oO Sorry, but I don't get you? If you cry about your relationship and how bad it is and how unhappy you are, it makes me think you would be better without him? (Not sure if this was an aro or autism thing)
  9. Kinda offtopic, Idk? I once talked with another writer and mentioned that when I was 14 I wrote a story what includes an aromantic asexual charackter, without realizing it! What came from her of course? She started telling me how this char would be "incomplete, broken" and that "people wants to read about romance" that it was "neccessary for a good story" etc. I got so mad at her! And told her that I wasn't fucking broken or incomplete or boring just because I'm aro! To be honest, it bothers me a lot that good stories almost always have this romance bullshit going on what is almost never connected to the story anyway -.- That's why I decided to write this story without romance
  10. Before Transition it was that every time I tried to become friends with boys, soon they started to confess their feelings for me and tell me that they had a crush on me. Ugh. Not only that I wasn't the girl they thought I am but also "I was looking for a bro, not a lover!" I always then told them that I wasn't romantically interested and they said they understand but still kept making comments and so, so I had to break up with the friendship Another odd situation was when one of my friends (who I haven't come out as aro yet) was djing one night and then said into the crowd but kinda was looking at me: "If you don't have a date for Valentine's Day don't give up, you will find someone." I was there just like "Ugh. But I DON'T want to." That's what's bothers me most: Every time I come out as aro, I get seen as sick and broken. Or like I "choose" to be single and stay away from romantic relationships. Always this: "You will find the right one, one day."
  11. @SoulWolf Thank you for the link! I'm still getting used to the terms Yeah, that I found that logo somewhere and was like "That fits me perfectly!" I'd like to print it on a t-shirt or so With that sexual attraction thing... It can happenw hile grocery shopping or something simple. I see a guy and am like "Omg, he is hot, cute" (whatever) and then I'm like "Moment, what was that?!" I'm not sure yet if I really want to act on it. Especially as aro. And I can only get intimate with someone I have a platonic bond to
  12. Thank you all for welcoming me so dearly! Yeah, it's pretty hard to be aro in Germany. Almost every time I try to explain, people keep telling me that I will "find the right person" -.- Another thing what is difficult for me is, that I was asexual before transition and for some 3 months ago I started to experience sexual attraction first time ever towards men and masculine people. It still happens very rarely and randomly oO Maybe I'm something like grey-ace or so, Idk Anyway, I find it very difficult to find someone for a kind of friends with benefits relationship. Most people are first like "Ah yeah that's cool!" but I think they mess it up with "fuckbuddy" what is not what I want! I'd like to have a close friendship where you sometimes also can have sex, but it shouldn't be about the sex only. I think this might fall under queerplatonic relationship? Oh btw, I might be in 2nd puberty currently but I'm becoming 32 this year
  13. I was 17 when my one friend told me that it was weird that I don't had a boyfriend yet and she was like "You haven't even kissed a boy yet!!" And I replied: "Why should I want to do that? It seems disgusting." So she asked me if I liked girls then, and I told her, "No. I'm just not interested in having a boyfriend or romantic relationship." Her reply: "Ah, you are just shy!" -.- Another thing: My mum recently told me about my cousins kid, what is in kindergarden age, and that they talked about another kid, who they want to marry when they're grown up. Then she looked at me and said: "You never did that. You never came to me, talking about an other kid you liked and want to marry." Well, turned out, I'm aro
  14. Hi at all, I am a transmasculine genderneutral person from Germany. Since my first puberty I know that I'm aromantic, unfortunately here is very less knowledge about aromanticism so I often feel like an alien I am also autistic, chronically ill and disabled. I'd like to meet other aro sexual people so I don't feel so out of place no more. If anyone wants to know more about me, just ask Greets, LJ
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