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SoulWolf

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About SoulWolf

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    A collection of rare oddities

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  • Gender
    Quoi
  • Pronouns
    pick one at random
  • Location
    South Africa
  • Romanticism
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  • Sexuality
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  1. Afraid

    Being afraid of sex doesn't make you aromantic, not on its own. But this might. If you think it fits you, then it probably does. From my limited experience, I would have to say that porn seems pretty violent. I think that (in theory) it is probably possible to have sex in a way that isn't violent or somehow disrespectful... but I can't really imagine what that might be like.
  2. Five Love Languages

    My results: 9 - Words of Affirmation 8 - Physical Touch 7 - Quality Time 5 - Acts of Service 1 - Receiving Gifts Didn't expect affirmation to be that high up. I guess either it means something different than what I thought it meant, or they just kept listing it as the other choice to the gifts option or something.
  3. What made you happy today?

    I got up early in the morning for the first time since forever, and it's cloudy and rainy (I hate bright hot days). And I finally set up my pull up bar which has been gathering dust in its box for years.
  4. Pretty much the same way you did in your original post in this thread I guess? I dunno, I'm bad at stuff like this. Good luck though, and maybe someone else here has suggestions? On a semi-related note, taking up martial arts helped me get over about 90% of my touch repulsion. Lots of grabbing and throwing and whatnot.
  5. I suppose the only way is to find someone to try them with - someone you can talk to about your touch aversion and who will be patient enough to help you test things without taking your reactions personally or something.
  6. Feeling Left Behind...

    Yep, this has happened to me as well. It's also happened that I was super close with a couple of people, and I thought they felt the same way, but later on I figured out that the only reason they were prioritising me was because they were thinking about me somewhat romantically. As soon as that went away, they went all distant. That sucked. They also had a hard time understanding that I would prioritise a friendship if I'm not romantically interested in the person. At the time, so did I... lol. But it all makes sense now.
  7. I know a few things about SEO (Search Engine Optimization). If there were topics on this forum with those exact titles (and a decent word count of discussion on each one, say 500-1000 words), and they were linked to prominently on this site (and possibly others), that would boost the rankings of those pages. At least in theory. Lately Google just doesn't seem to care much about relevance and boosts 'big brand' sites regardless of their usefulness. But I suppose it's worth a try...? Although it might be easier to get published on some already popular site like Medium.com and put the info there instead. Or reddit. You can also figure out what people search for by using Google suggestions. Each of the things that comes up is something someone has searched before.
  8. That's So Aromantic!

    I've never seen any kind of notifications about who saw my posts... would be useful to have actually.
  9. Me too... I've attended the weddings of friends, and while they're all being happy and stuff, I treated it more like a funeral. I didn't see or hear from them as much after the wedding, as expected. A new friend I made a few years ago got engaged to some random guy she had dated for a week... and I just never spoke to her again.
  10. That's So Aromantic!

    Nope, only 2 IRL. Only one person responded to the post, and he's ace, so he already knows about aro stuff. Nobody else pressed any buttons on it, so I dunno how many saw it.
  11. That's So Aromantic!

    This is a good intro kind of thing, I actually shared it publically on my Facebook. Will see how that goes...
  12. Unconditional Love

    I didn't understand all the fancy science stuff, but it sounds like a pretty depressing way of viewing reality, and I'd really rather not. As far as I'm concerned, we can't even conclusively prove that physical reality itself exists, so everything else is pretty much up in the air at this point. The Matrix is run by unicorns and powered by rainbows. Can't disprove that either.
  13. squishes and querplatonic relationships

    Interesting... Well some friends are better than others... in a variety of different ways. I'm not entirely sure how people decide who their "best friend" is, (never happened to me lol), but what exactly is the difference between a best friend and a romantic partner then? I don't really get how people can want a QPP without knowing a specific person for it. But then on the other hand, all I've wanted my whole life was a 'best friend'. But I'm not even sure what that means anymore... Where do you draw the line between friendship and partnership? ... And why draw a line at all? All these definitions make my head hurt...
  14. Unconditional Love

    Yup, that's a pretty good explanation. This is a really nice way of putting it. It reminds me of something I read not too long ago... Source I like their idea that loving someone is about extending yourself. I think English needs a larger variety of words for love, or at least different ones for the feeling and the verb. Like that saying "love is a verb" - well, yes and no. It can be, but it doesn't have to be. It's possible to love a person without showing it in any way whatsoever because maybe you can't show it safely for whatever reason, or it would be a waste of energy to. I didn't mean to imply that you did, just that it seems to be a common way for people to react. It doesn't matter if they do or not... The person exists, as a seperate entity from their attributes. I really only used the word soul/essence to make a point, as something to compare it to that people have probably heard of. I don't know what else to call it. Even if the person dies (ceases to physically exist), the memory of them lives on. So like, there's this concept of them that's independent of their actions, personality, and whether they're currently alive. What would you call that concept?
  15. Unconditional Love

    Ooh, this is my kind of topic. I have always been interested in the concept of unconditional love. As far as I can tell, it seems to be the only kind of love I actually experience. Rarely, though.... but once I start loving a person, I don't seem to be able to stop. Even if they really piss me off... or if I don't see or hear from them for like 20 years or whatever. To me though, there's a (very necessary) difference between loving a person and being a doormat. Example: I love this friend of mine that I've known for a really long time, and I used to invest a lot of time and effort into keeping the friendship alive because I didn't want to lose it... but he didn't seem to like me doing that, and didn't seem to really want to talk to me much, so I had to accept losing the friendship. I still love him though, and always will. I don't think that love itself is ever unhealthy. It depends on what you do with it though. There was another ex-friend I had that would sometimes randomly go on a verbal abuse spree. I thought that if I loved and accepted him for long enough, he'd eventually outgrow that. 13 years later, he went on another verbal abuse spree, and I decided that was enough. That was 2 years ago. I probably still have some love for him deep down, I just don't want to subject myself to his company. I also don't really want to think about him much, because it's unpleasant. The "familial love" thing has confused me a lot though, because I don't understand how or why so many people seem to love people they're related to somewhat 'by default'... like... I have never felt love for my parents or any other family members except maybe one of my cousins (who, incidentally, I haven't seen or heard from ever since she got married, which was probably 20 years ago now). I like my parents... but love is a strong word, and I just don't really feel that way about them. I have felt guilty about this for a long time. It's like I feel like I'm expected to love these people, and I tried to, but I don't know how to. Most people I know love at least one of their parents, and maybe a grandparent or 2. I have no idea what that's like. Why it semi-spontaneously happens with other people is also still a mystery to me. It seems to have something to do with who they are as a person, how kind they are, whether or not they're annoying, etc... but if I love them for their kindness, and they stop being kind... I don't stop loving them, so... it starts out conditionally and then the conditions go away? Or is it a defense mechanism - loving unkind people would be too painful, so I'd rather not start, but it's worth the risk for a person who is kind to begin with? I dunno... Loving animals is really easy though - I love almost every animal I come across. Humans however are a completely different story. If this happened to me (I don't have a sister, lol, but let's pretend I had one and actually loved her)... I would still love her. I would never trust her ever again, and would not want to have anything to do with her at all whatsoever. I'd be very angry and disgusted with what she did, and how she functions as a person... but I'd still love her. I guess I make some kind of a distinction between... 1. The person themselves... their essence, or soul or whatever. Some kind of unchanging thing that is unique to them. 2. Their attributes - personality, actions, whether I trust them, all sorts of things that can change over time. Ironically, also all the things that are involved with getting to know the person and whether I start to love them in the first place. There's also a difference between how I feel about a person and how I act towards them. I would stop interacting entirely with the fictional sister in this case, but the feelings would still be there. I'd probably try to avoid thinking about her because the feelings would be painful. Thankfully it's pretty easy for me to avoid thinking about people. My point, I guess, is that in my case love doesn't turn into hate. There'd be no ill will here, just sadness and disappointment. I wouldn't want to get revenge or hurt her in any way, and I wouldn't regret loving her. I honestly don't understand at all how people can stop loving a person once they've started, let alone turn around and hate them and want to hurt them. For the sister example, I can understand why they'd not want to have those feelings for that person anymore... but it still feels kind of alien to me.
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