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timidcat

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About timidcat

  • Rank
    Newbie

Personal Information

  • Name
    Ruth
  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    She, her
  • Location
    Malta
  • Romanticism
    aromantic
  • Sexuality
    asexual

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  1. I have an account on AVEN. It's been mostly OK for me except I came across some people who thought that there's nothing wrong with 13 year olds watching hardcore bdsm porn. Oh and some feminists got offended when I tried to have a civil argument about feminism's flaws. I also got a warning post by an admin, unbelievable.
  2. Ever since I learned about what asexual and aromantic is I used to think my best friend was ace and aro as well like me. Boy was I wrong. A year ago she didn't like romantic movies or stories and now she's all over them. Now she's making sex jokes but thank goodness they're not graphic. She's also claimed to have crushes on several guys. It really hit me how much she's changed a few weeks ago. We were out with our other friends. Our other friend (let's call her X) brought her friend along who we had never met before and he was a guy. As we were walking back home on our own my friend insisted that X and the guy she brought with her were in love. Later she told me that X had confessed to her that she had a crush on him, I kinda suspect that she made it up tbh. So I told her that the guy didn't look like he reciprocared. They just acted like best friends. At first I did have my suspicions but as I saw that he acted friendly and over the top with everyone in the group I dismissed it. Then my friend became frustrated for some reason. She told me I was too logical and you can just tell when people are in love and you can feel it in your bones, I should open up my mind to thsee possibilities and yada yada yada. She told me some other things that hurt me (don't exactly remember what they were) but I know she didn't mean it. I was more shocked that she's not ace or aro like I thought she was. She's a year older than me (17) so I thought being a late bloomer was unlikely at this point. Before she used to understand me when I told her I didn't get romance or sex at all and now it's not like that anymore. I have basically no one in my life that I can relate to.
  3. Just so we can get this out of the way, I cannot see myself being romantic with anyone, ever. That I am sure of. After a lot of thinking I realised that I don't like romantic movies because they make it hard to care about the characters or their romance. It's like all there is to these characters is their love for each other. So at least I got that settled. However I've been really confused about my feelings about real people being romantic. When I see anyone holding hands I think d'awwwww ๐Ÿ˜. But when I see people kissing I go ewwww ๐Ÿ˜. And when someone I know announces they have a date I momentarily go into shock and think it's unbelievable. It's extra confusing because there are some days when I'm miserable and I just hate any form of affection that I see.
  4. I despise the term. It makes it seem that a very close platonic relationship between men is actually a romantic one and they just want to hide it. I wouldn't be surprised if it was coined by panicked people trying to deny that men could ever be so emotional like women. In their mind they thought it was gay and they thought everyone else saw it as gay so they made it up as a defense mechanism. Furthermore the term is another 'option' if you will for denying an actual romantic relationship between men. Fans and even show runners jump on the bromance bandwagon so that they don't lose homophobic viewers which inevitably makes it easier for the audience to deny what is directly in front of them.
  5. So I've gotten a lot of ideas for a book and I'll begin writing it as soon as I finish with plot and character notes. The main theme of this book is going to be recovery from childhood trauma through friendship. Only now I'm considering upgrading it. At this point I should probably mention my two main characters are both male. I'm basically torn between making them best friends for life, in a qpr, or have them be romantic partners. I feel that even strong friendship isn't going to be enough for the things I want to be expressed between these characters. However I don't think I can pull off a romance successfully. I myself don't like kissing, touching or anything of a sexual nature so I don't want to write them in. On the other hand if I decide to make it a qpr I fear that I may be accused of queerbaiting and feel like I'm letting the lgbt+ community down. I'm tempted to make it a romance without any kissing involved but again; I feel that many people won't see it as a romance or they might see it as queerbaiting. I don't know, what are your thoughts? What would you like me to do? Like This
  6. I can name a few best worst movies. Foodfight, Ratatoing, The Little Panda Fighter, Where The Dead Go To Die. Give their reviews a watch you won't be disappointed.
  7. So I don't usually watch romance or horror movies but when I do, I don't even make it through half the movie because it's so hilariously bad. It's especially bad how they try to portray a 'romance' if you can even call it that. I forgot what this movie was called but the couple in question was actually being chased by a serial killer and they went to hide in a closet. Guess what happened just take a guess. Well it's the perfect time to passionately make out and grope each other of course! At least they got caught in the end My friend once told me of another hilarity. They were watching a movie based on a Stephen King novel. One where trucks and cars come to life. Pretty much the same situation as described above. Hiding in a bathroom this time, with trucks outside that could bash down the building at any moment and you know what happens. Recently I was watching James Bond Spectre, I tried to get into the James Bond movies but I just hate them with a firey passion. So James Bond and his what 3rd fling in the entire movie? they were just recovering from an intense fight. Bond had a nose bleed, a black eye, bruised face, was bleeding from the forehead and probably had a few broken ribs. They still somehow managed to stumble back to their room and perform coitus without any apparent worsening of their injuries. I should totally make a list of silly romantic tropes but it would exclude high school movies because what else are they for?
  8. I know for a fact that most anti ace and Aro arguments stay on tumblr but I just get a little worried. Have asexuals or aromantics ever been kicked out of a pride parade before?
  9. I was just looking at the survey of this thread. How is not following any organised religion different from atheism? Someone care to explain?
  10. I'm aro ace, I've had a person relate my orientations to a lack of experience with the opposite gender. She thought that since I never hung around guys It was no surprise that I never felt anything towards them. Of course I know that it's just ridiculous.
  11. I'm an atheist living in a Christian town. I don't have a good relationship with my parents even though we live under the same roof. My dad's a Christian but he doesn't talk much about the topic. I'm pretty sure my mum's an atheist. We all go to church on Sundays to keep up appearances and because both sets of grandparents would hate it if we didn't. I think my grandma suspects that I'm an atheist but I'm certain it would shock her if I actually said the words. My best friend doesn't understand why I'm an atheist and keeps trying to convert me, so annoying! The worst experience I've had related to my atheism is always when the priests say that they need guidance to find god again and that they can never be happy if they don't.
  12. My prom wasn't anything special. The entire time I stuck with my best and only friend in the world who came in a suit. I made more of an effort to socialise with the rest of my classmates since it would be the last time some of us would see each other. But it didn't change the fact that they were always too loud, too boisterous and totally not our types. It was a bit scary cause my aro aceness was kinda obvious. A lot of people were kissing so we had to move a couple of times. We had people inquring why neother me or my friend had a date. On top of all that, before the prom both me and my bestie decided to cut our hair short and she decided to come in a suit. Before we went she was actually worried that people might think we're dating or that she was a lesbian because stereotypes. It didn't help when someone commented that we 'had guts' to cut our hair short. Even though at the time I was already comfortable with my ace identity I still felt like I was the odd one out. There were as much guys as girls and I felt absolutely nothing for any if them. I still couldn't understand what my classmates meant by 'hot' and I didn't really understand their romantic feelings. But wait there's more! After prom my grandma wanted to see the pictures we took (we took some really lovely pics). She didn't exactly aprove of my friend wearing the suit ๐Ÿ˜ Everything has changed so fast, just a few months ago we were still in class studying for O levels, nor really caring about what other people thought of us. Ever since our last day of school something changed in my friend. Like I would've never thought about how 'weird' everyone else would see us. She was the one who pointed things out.
  13. I know this isn't really a problem but it's so darn annoying. Watching other girls squeal and giggle at clichรฉd, crappy, badly timed romantic subplots and asuming that you're silly for not liking them.
  14. I'm aromantic asexual, never had anything remotely close to sexual desire for someone. I find people aesthetically pleasing with no desire to date them. I think that people look so much better with clothes than without clothes. Even better in winter gear, coats and gloves are my jam. Seriously my attraction to a person significantly decreases if I see them shirtless or naked.
  15. Me too. Undiagnosed mental illnesses have caused me to fall into a depressive state. I've noticed that the one time I had an actual crush was before I had depression/anxiety. Either way I'm still aro ace, even if I didn't have the social skills of a potato I would still never want a sexual or romantic relationship with someome. Besides, mental illness is hard to recover from, some people never recover so there is no chance of their orientation ever changing. So regardless, people have to deal with it and accept all of you. They shouldn't hold on to the idea that maybe you'll change if you're mentally stable because that might never happen
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