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Sooty Owl

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    32
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About Sooty Owl

  • Rank
    Member
  • Birthday 12/12/1997

Personal Information

  • Name
    Maryne
  • Gender
    Gender neutral
  • Pronouns
    she/they
  • Location
    Belgium
  • Occupation
    Biology student
  • Romanticism
    Aromantic
  • Sexuality
    Pansexual

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  1. I think if you don't feel romantic attraction then congrats, you're aro. Even if you date people, even if you get into relationships with romantic people, you're still aro because you still don't feel romantic attraction, that's all.
  2. I think i've found a QP? My squish asked me if I wanted to upgrade our relationship, I told him I was aro, he told me he kind of guessed it and that he never expected me to fall in love with him and that he doesn't want a romantic relationship but rather just enjoys my company a lot? I'm screaming???? Oh my god he still has to talk to his girlfriend about this but oh my god is this really happening? I'm happy? Holly shit

    1. ArodynamicallyFavored

      ArodynamicallyFavored

      1)BREATHE

      2)YAY!! if you're happy

      3) that sounds as uncomfortable & random af

      4) But congrats if #2 is true :)

    2. Mark

      Mark

      Sounds good.
      About the only possible issue is the idea of "upgrading" relationships...

    3. Sooty Owl

      Sooty Owl

      Well, he didn't really say that exactly, it was more along the lines of "do you want our relationship to go a step further?" Plus tbh I do see a QPR as more than a friendship, or atleast the friendship we had until that point.

  3. I was wondering what you guys really can't seem to understand about romance. I guess we all have difficulty understanding the basic stuff like what crushes feel like and whatnot, but what about everything that encompasses this whole romantic culture we live in? I, for one, can't possibly understand how a lot of people seem to find extreme jealousy romantic. I just saw a post where a guy said that if a girl wanted to marry him she'd have to cut off all contact with other boys and everyone was gushing about how the fact that he was so protective was romantic and cute... No it's not, it's abusive. And I'm not saying everything romantic peeps are like that (thank god!) but I see that a lot and it's driving me crazy. Something else I don't understand is this rule of "you can't date someone that your friend used to date". I mean, if you're friends, it means you have stuff in common, so it's not that surprising that you'd fall for the same person, and I don't see why you're expected to never date one of your friend's exes AFTER they broke up. If you caused the breakup or if you openly thirsted after the person, then I can understand, but if the breakup had already happened and there's no way they're ever getting back together, then where's the issue? Why have I witnessed multiple persons cut off one of their friends because that friend started dating one of their exes??? This makes no damn sense.
  4. I've actually gotten into a romantic relationships exactly so I could get perks, mainly for the sensual aspect because I'm a very sensual person but I couldn't just kiss my friends or cuddle with them, so I just got into a romo relationship which ended after 2 months because the guy couldn't handle the fact that I was aro. I'm not saying I'll never to it again, but... next time I'll just tell them I'm aro a lot sooner to avoid such situations where I feel bad because I'm hiding such a big thing from someone I'm supposed to trust completely.
  5. @AlexisS it's okay, in the end I'm better off alone than with someone who can't date aro people ^^
  6. Just joined in! I'm Tenebricosa and have almost the same icon as here (It's also a sooty owl but a different one)
  7. Damn, I guess now I have to change my username to Teddy Bear I think it's a group of people that are racing on the snow.
  8. The first person i've ever had a relationship with broke up with me yesterday because I was aro and he couldn't handle it. It had its good points, especially all the kissing/holding hands/stuff because I'm a very sensual person, but thinking that he was in love with me and ESPECIALLY thinking that he thought I was in love with him made me so anxious. I liked being with him every few days when we were with friends, but once we were alone I'd start to feel kind of uncomfortable after a few hours and wish for nothing but going home. I debated for a long while over whether I should tell him I'm aro or not, and then yesterday I just thought "enough". I needed to make things clear and I hoped he would understand and we would just set new boundaries and everything would be fine. And yeah, even if he did react with "oh but can't your aromanticism change over-time?" (which is even worse to hear when you know he's ace), he was pretty accepting of it and said there was nothing wrong with me. But then he just says "I can't be with someone who doesn't love me the way I love them". And that's how it ends, with me now feeling really bad since yesterday not really because of the breakup in itself, but because I got reminded that being aro is regarded as an anomaly and I'll never be able to return the love that anyone will give me.
  9. You know, it really hurts when you tell an alloromantic ace person about your aromanticism and their first reaction is "but can't it change over time?"

    1. Dodgypotato

      Dodgypotato

      A lot of romantic aces seem to want to erase aromanticism from existence. :/:stopapo:

    2. Ugh...

      Ugh...

      The reaction which affected me the most is when one of my friend answered "aw, that's so sad!"

    3. omitef

      omitef

      I can relate. I think I've only had one person who's been 100% chill and didn't have a negative reaction. And the chill person was a queer allo guy.

  10. "A series of unfortunate squishes" will be the title of my autobiography

    1. ArodynamicallyFavored

      ArodynamicallyFavored

      if these events are as bad as the movie..... You poor squishing thing you.

    2. omitef

      omitef

      Are you me

  11. tfw at the same moment your boyfriend comes out as ace and your best friend figures out you have a squish on her boyfriend and you feel completely submerged

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