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Coyote

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  1. Oh, that reminds me (I knew I was forgetting something) -- besides the things I listed above, I'm also wondering about which blogs might be the most influential in aro tumblr. Or maybe not "influential," but, among the users who have been making misinformed remarks, are there any particular aro bloggers that they listen to on aro issues? And, among those lists, is there any overlap? Someone who could reach more than one at once? If one of those bloggers were willing to reblog something on this, whether it's an infographic like Laura is suggesting or some other myth-debunking post, that might help put this matter to rest as well. I'm not very familiar with that landscape, though. Can y'all offer any insight on who's networked to who?
  2. I appreciate the shared priorities. Currently, (in relation to this thread) I'm thinking of the goal of QPR infographics in terms of this: So I'm thinking of a second infographic's goal as mainly just "knock the bad one off its throne of notes." The problem with the bad one, besides being bad, is that it also happened to combine the ace-origin narrative with a very skewed understanding of what queerplatonic can mean. This makes bad QPR definitions & the ace-origin narrative seem like they're intertwined, which then makes people feel extra suspicious of the ace-origin narrative when they see it again in the future. A couple of different posts I've linked here have shown some of the reactions that result re: presenting the ace-origin narrative without getting into detailed proof, and if it were me, I'd want to try and anticipate how to respond to those reactions, should they happen again. Hypothetically -- and this might not be what would happen, but hypothetically -- if even one blogger reblogged the infographic to add "No, this is false, it's actually an aro term" and then several more bloggers shared it from there, then even if the original poster responded, "Common misconception actually, here's proof," then you've still got people who maybe only saw the post in its earlier form, ending on, "No, it's an aro term." In that scenario, the post ends up with a reblog-tree where one version of the post leaves off on the aro-origin narrative. That's a version that more people might see and get the wrong idea from, which continues the cycle. So when people present the ace-origin narrative in that context, at this point, I think it's risky to simply mention it in passing instead of getting into the proof. For the goal of "addressing the aro-origin misinfo," there are three general things that I figure people can do: Directly correct people who state/spread the misinfo, ideally angling for a retraction. Just telling them isn't enough, since their mistaken posts are also seen by other people, and those people need to be reached, too. Spread the corrections independently, as an original post/reblog, specifically about the misinfo issue and its causes. More generally, encourage/participate in broader conversation about the issues this one is intertwined with, in order to try and address some of those root causes.
  3. Interesting. I see the structure here is patterned after the bad one. Frankly, I don't think mentioning the origins is necessary, if the goal is just to put out a better infographic that doesn't reflect the same problems as Twenty's. More importantly... I don't actually think the original structure (with its blocks on Love, Commitment, etc.) was the best choice on her part to begin with. This could just be me swinging too far in the other direction, but I associate this kind of breakdown of features with the attempts to define queerplatonic too narrowly as a particular kind of relationship style, rather than an umbrella term. I see your approach was to take some similar blocks and mostly talk through how variable they each are, which is good. I also have to assume, though, that some people will just glance over the headers w/o reading the smaller text and possibly get the impression that it's intended as a trait list. Do you see what I mean? @LauraG -- you mentioned an infographic project too, right?
  4. Here's an essay I know of about gay bisexuality, for reference. I don't have a dog in this particular hunt, besides a general opposition to too much essentialism, but from what you described, @Alexisaromantic, it sounds like you're mired in a case of people trying to sort other people into Ally or Enemy factions, rather than working together to solve a problem, and that's never a good situation. You might end up burning some bridges no matter what you do. Faced with conflicting demands like that, I think the only thing really left to do is figure out how to maintain your own sense of integrity. Are you looking for input about the particular issue itself, or more on how to handle the DMs?
  5. Update: title changed from "QPR Revisionism is Not An Appropriate Proxy for Aro Reparations" to "QPR Misinformation Is Not an Appropriate Vehicle for Aro Community Building," per feedback that the original phrasing sounded accusatory. So now that that's changed, would anyone like to address any of the other accusatory language used in this thread?
  6. Hey @asexualpanda27 -- this isn't my area, but I do have an aromantic friend (who doesn't have an Arocalypse account) who would be happy to talk more about this stuff with you, if you want. Let me know and I can PM you her discord, instagram, or email address.
  7. Wh-- Th-- This looks just like @Jot-Aro Kujo's aromantic allosexual flag design. Am I seeing this right? Is there something wrong with my eyes? This is the exact same design except slightly paler.
  8. Current suggestion on the table: "QPR Misinformation Is Not an Appropriate Vehicle for Aro Community Building" @bydontost @nonmerci
  9. That's a refreshing perspective to hear. In any case, that describes your own investments. How would you describe the investments being expressed in these posts I linked as examples of misinformation? In two or three words, if possible.
  10. I'm sure this is well-intentioned, but at this point I'm pretty tired of flag redesigns. Especially on grounds like these. Here's what that Wikipedia page says about it: "The black triangle was a badge used in Nazi concentration camps to mark prisoners regarded 'anti-social' and 'arbeitsscheu' (work-shy). Those considered anti-social included alcoholics, homeless, beggars, nomads, and prostitutes. Women deemed to be anti-social included prostitution, nonconformists, and lesbians." So "against lesbians" is accurate but also a pretty big oversimplification. It's also.... not even oriented the same way. It's just a triangle. That's just a basic design element. It's not like it's something as distinct as a swastika or a symbol of Venus. Anyway, I think it's important for the aro community to be aware that people have been attacking aces' use of triangles since at least 2011. This is kind of criticism is nothing new.
  11. People have used the term "queerplatonic attraction," yes. In fact, the very first use of queerplatonic on the internet was "I kind of like queerplatonic as a definer for the attraction I feel to my zucchini" (where "zucchini" here means "queerplatonic partner").
  12. I've got one person here telling me the title puts too much emphasis on reasons/motivation and I've got another person telling me the thread doesn't put enough emphasis on reasons/motivation. I don't know how to reconcile these two perspectives, so if you two could hash that out together and get back to me, I would love to implement a solution which is satisfactory to the both of you. If I might tentatively put forth a theory here.... This seems like a situation where many people are highly on guard (on account of a lot of negative past experiences), so based on cases I've seen where just presenting the facts wasn't enough.... I think a big component here that might help, potentially, is if people were corrected by people they already know and trust, especially on aro issues. Also, hi, btw. Welcome to Arocalypse.
  13. @metelyk Besides queerplatonic, some other related keywords you might search are "companionate love," "passionate friendship," or "romantic friendship" (I know, but still). Not necessarily exactly what you're looking for, but might be close enough to explore, if you're looking for relationships/experiences/concepts with some overlap to what you described. Some related posts that you might find interesting: I don't understand dating, so I'm getting married An Aromantic in Love (about a platonic relationship) Intimacy Scales (about different ways of categorizing hand-holding, etc.) Bro, That's Gay (about romantic ambiguity & intense friendship)
  14. Suggestions on the table now: "Misinformation on QPRs in Aro Circles Hinders Conversations About Real Problems Between Aro and Ace Communities" "Misinformation on QPRs Hinders Conversations About Community Relations" "QPR Misinformation is Not An Appropriate Proxy for Aro Reparations"
  15. I'm happy to change the title if people can come to an agreement on what the new title should be. Some candidates that have been brought up: "QPR Minsinformation is Not An Appropriate Proxy for Aro Reparations"? "QPR Mistakes are Not An Appropriate Proxy for Aro Reparations"? "Spreading Misconceptions About QPRs is Not An Appropriate Proxy for Aro Reparations"? "Spreading Misconceptions (Intentionally or Not) About QPRs is Not An Appropriate Proxy for Aro Reparations"? Something else? Yes. I can say it again, if people like. It was not my intention to discuss intentions (in the sense of deliberate vs. accidental). I have no particular way to know whether people are doing these things knowingly or unknowingly, so I make no particular statement on that. Done. Hmm... You're referring to this one, right? I think that's the same one that was brought up to me in another conversation about the topic. Creating a new/better/more-accurately-worded infographic sounds like a promising idea. Currently, the bad one is sitting at... *checks* ...8,849 notes. If a new one were created, are there any big blogs that could help spread it just as far?
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