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cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

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About cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday December 12

Personal Information

  • Name
    Teagan
  • Gender
    female
  • Pronouns
    she/they
  • Location
    USA
  • Romanticism
    quoi/demi
  • Sexuality
    grey/ace

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  1. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

    I want relationship(s); need advice

    a relationship is the agreed upon interactions between two people, often involving some kind of closeness or privacy not available to those outside the relationship. (or more people, or people and organizations, or two or more organizations, etc) really the question is how do you establish a relationship, not what kind it'll be. I suppose having better language to categorize a relationship helps, but when it comes down to it the important thing is negotiating shared interests and any disagreements in a way that allows each one to be happy with continuing the relationship, especially if trust and care and communication and shared activities can be regularly enjoyed. as you can probably assume from my ridiculous choice of language and concept, I can't figure out how to establish a relationship either
  2. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

    Religious fundamentalism

    it's relative. from the perspective of the earth, the sun moves around the earth. religious folk prefer the perspective of the earth.no need to correct what isn't actually wrong. they don't like the yang to their yin, that's perfectly ok, both yin and yang are as one, and where one is acknowledge the other is still true, even if only a shadow. your need to have her see yang and not yin is no different than her need to have you see yin and not yang, I know you find it hard to believe that the sun revolves around the earth but it's just as true. if you want the objective truth, go be the sun, then the earth, then the solar system, then the universe, and don't forget to be each molecule and atom too. they all judge those around them in such a fundamentally different way that we can't even fathom what it's like to be them.
  3. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

    Graysexuality Thread

    reading your story of introspection really speaks to me, @Apathetic Echidna I may not be appressexual but, I feel you really. I guess it's 'cause I do feel sexual attraction but, defining my orientation and understanding what was what was really a work to pick it apart. it's such a relief to finally feel comfortable with an answer to the question - I was hesitant to go with grey because I felt pressured to "know for sure" and quoi/grey both seemed like "labels for people who are questioning" especially in the environment I was in. people weren't satisfied with a middle ground. but, I'm satisfied with the middle grouond. it doesn't feel middle ground at all! it's where I belong, it is solid ground to me. I am greysexual and I am quoiromantic! and I'm proud of it! there are more precise labels I could use but, really those two speak to my experience much more fully, and on the appropriate level they need to. if more info matters, I'd be happy to talk about orientation in detail and touch on the mechanics of my attraction more than that. but most the time, it's just TMI. not that it's anything particularly private but, why does a stranger/peer/etc need to know it?
  4. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

    so wait am I lithsexual

    heya friends so I've been thinking... I know I feel sexual attraction. I know I lack any desire for sex. but wait doesn't that just make me lithsexual? or am I understanding it wrong?
  5. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

    Hi everyone!

    hello and welcome! yeah I totalyl get what you mean at being kinda in limbo about all this. I've always known I had... some kind of attraction, but the details of it was confusingly uninspiring compared to how big a deal attraction seems to be to everyone else I slowly started to piece things together when I found out about asexuality and aromanticism, but it was especially hard 'cause I'm not quite without but not quite full attraction but I figured out that "Greysexual" works well enough and "demiromantic" just about hits it right. I hope you find this place very helpful for you as you figure out some good words to help explain and identify your orientation too
  6. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

    ever been on a date without knowing?

    well there was this one time someone asked me to go "as a friend, to support her" with them on a double day for their friend who was asked on a date with a guy she didn't trust, and I agreed, y'know, being supportive of my friend and her roomate. and then by the end of the date I came to realize that I wasn't actually asked as a friend, I was asked as a crush. made me a little uncomfortable...
  7. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

    Libido versus attraction

    will it allow me to post a second post? it does! OK - editing in a response to everyone/piggybacking from topics, for the sake of community --- Yeah my libido too has certainly had highs and lows, like a biorhythm. It was much stronger in my teen years, but over the years it weakened. When I had a roomate I'd happily go without masturbating for long periods of time, and often woke up super-aroused at like 1/2 in the morning and go off to the bathroom to do it quick, lol. Since discovering my asexuality, I started to notice the ways in which sex itself would actually fail to interest me - I'd always look at still images of nudity, rather than sex, and I'd also have "romantic fantasies" with the goal of detailing my relationship with the person and sexual encounters, but usually not finish the fantasy - not reach that point of first-encounter, or reach it and then sort of stop. . lately I rarely feel my libido and it ain't so strong, but it comes sometimes. it seems pretty random, but as I do feel sexual attraction, interacting with someone attractive increases it. for me, my libido, when I refer to my libido I refer to the overall rhythm of it throughout the day, week, and month, that some hours I feel a need for arousal and experiencing my arousal very strongly, others it's like a little itch or distraction that is weak but present. other times it's completely absent, no amount of longing for arousal/fantasy/masturbation. --- heh I've always been more drawn to lesbianism than anything else, and I always just thought, "it's two women! duh it's hotter, there's more women!" and that's a common sorta thing for many straight males, but nowadays I feel more that it's been because I'm trans-feminine, that I was more feeling a part of the imagery/scene nowadays I don't bother looking at anything that isn't sapphic, but, well, I rarely consume any porn, fanfiction, or smut anymore. --- oh I really emphasize with this! I got this in my sexual relationship with my partner. I liked her, but at the time wasn't attracted to her, either romantically or sexually, and while she tried to be subtle.. I could tell and picked up on it. eventually I caved and we became a thing.. but uh, even there I was overwhelmed with the intensity of her desire for sex/ for me, that I could not match. it's actually interesting tho, 'cause generally regardless of how a person was attracted to me, it did encourage my own to slowly grow. I always had only sexual attraction tho . And with that partner in particular, I felt romantically towards her too, eventually. I don't know really, if this is something which could be relied on, tho. I anticipate the possibility that I might become married to a person who I never feel romantic towards naturally they'd know and be OK with it. I wouldn't dislike romantic or sexual interest in me, as long as there is no pressure of needs that I should be fulfilling. I don't mind them wanting certain things of me, but I want the full freedom to not give what (or when) I can't give.
  8. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

    Libido versus attraction

    to respond to the original post @Ettina I'd presume anything to be a part of libido, if it has to do with arousal, masturbation, kinks of a sexual nature, fantasy of sexual nature, and orgasm. Someone non-libido'd would not find themselves experencing such things. Tho, nonsexual fantasy and nonsexual kink might be experienced by someone non-libido'd. In the asexual communities, it's preferred to make a distinction between libido and sex-drive, where the former is self-sexual only, and the latter is sexual-with-others as part of it. Masturbation may help curb the drive, but sexual contact with others is what's really desired. And technically sex-drive is distinct tho comparable to sexual attraction - even sexual desire for some. Some folk prefer to think of orientation based upon attraction and others prefer distinguishing theirs based on desire. I'd say sexual desire does go hand-in-hand with sex-drive, and in fact, for some individuals they are the same for sure. The difference between desire and drive is, as far as I know, not a big difference. Semantic perhaps, but I don't experience either, so I'm no expert. Sexual attraction is to be drawn towards a person, attracted to them, in a sexual way, with the nature of the attraction open to interpretation. It's an abstract concept, IDK how to best describe what sexual attraction is. For me it is a type of attraction towards others which can lead to feelings of arousal, but the attraction itself isn't the arousal. they are separate functions, one which can stimulate the other. --- So if you ask me - what is the difference between libido and attraction? I say - libido is either or both a behavior of arousal over time, or a need for stimulation or even orgasm. Attraction is to feel drawn towards a particular person, or in lack of a particular person, of finding such a person to be attracted to. Libido inherently implies sexuality and for an ace is only self-sexual. Attraction does not necessarily apply sexual aspects to it, and some differentiate between attractions based off of what kind of desire or internal sensation it triggers, while others don't find such differences to be meaningful. for many people sexuality and romanticism are inseparable. Desire can be for some folk something in-between libido and attraction, but for others is also meaningless to separate. --- to organise that ramble into informal definitions - libido the behavior of arousal in the person the drive for erotic stimulation or orgasm. sex-drive libido which also includes need for partnered activity, even if curbed by self-sexual behaviors. sexual desire a wanting or need for sexual activity with a partner - whether that partner feels special or only circumstantial - and whether that wanting is spontaneous or responsive. Can be indistinguishable from sex-drive. Can also be tied into a person's attraction in a way that is inseparable. sexual attraction being drawn or attracted to a person - in a way which ties into sexuality. Perhaps the "draw" is via feelings of admiration or interest in them, perhaps the draw is desire or fantasy. Perhaps some other experience. Attraction is much more abstract and subjective than desire is.
  9. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

    The Asexual Thread

    regarding amatanormativity, I dislike any claim that oppression is a conscious and purposeful thing. perhaps in precise behavior a person might speak against something which they find unhealthy, but in doing so they only reveal that teh culture itself distrusts such the thing - it is not that, in full knowing, some beast called "culture" says, "no, no, that is not a good thing" but instead that it is an alien concept and therefore distrusted, and in being distrusted, is of course rejected. a person who is a stranger hearing of strange ideas will dislike you, and this is not oppression, but instead, strangers distrusting strangers. you could be a fool or a troll and they wouldn't know of it - you could be a threat or a friend and they couldn't tell the difference. ignorance only is oppression when an actor who knows you well keeps you prisoner, where you expect benefactor, especially if you rely on them in some way. but the line isn't easy to spot, the difference between a person who is not able to hear your message, and a person who suppresses it knowingly. I do not say that the culture being foreign to your message isn't a headache and a half to work against, and it certainly is and can be quite painful to live in a culture ignorant to your identity. but to claim it is evil for its lack of awareness - that I challenge. --- regarding communities, As I am greysexual and demiromantic, it is weird in both communities for me. at times I really relate, at others I really don't. heh. for me personally, identifying that my romantic attraction is its own thing and my sexual attraction too its own thing, was quite imperative. but, now in knowing of it, it is just attraction either way in the end - whether I choose to enter a relationship this way or that way is a decision, not attraction. I intend to be with a person I'm attracted to; end regardless of whether it is romantically, sexualy, both, or neither, the relationship is determined by both of us in cooperation of it, and while influenced by our attractions, well, we'll likely celebrate birthdays and meet family for holidays and reside together and share hobbies and go on vacation together and etc. and that has nothing to do with either. in a way the thing which is the hardest to battle is this belief of falling in love! lol. For myself - I don't do such a thing, no, I grow trust in them, and build habits of active togetherness. but that "in love" experience that is romance - well it ain't so bad if I get it, I'll deal, but I'd in fact rather not get it. doesn't add anything special to togehterness, not for me. What I want is basically a roomate *now fully rambling, if she wasn't already before now lmao* well, I actually do want a roomate, and a friend. not some random roomy you get 'cause you need to share rent, a roommate you live with because you enjoy their company. I wouldn't mind rooming with a couple either, or in a sense wouldn't mind living with and as a part of a multiples relationship, what're they called again? but like. idk. I'd also like to live alone. right now, my goal is to sometime get employed, and save up and then move out. I don't want to live with my parents. I wouldn't want to live with any of my family either - tho I enjoy their company, I dunno. I dunno. I wish I had better opportunities to get out and to be honest, I really enjoyed living on my own. while if you ask me, "what do you want in a relationship" I'll say, "well first a friend. and if you mean in a partnership, then, well, I don't know. something built off of platonic fondness and partnership first and foremost, that's what's most important" but if you ask me, "do you want one" I will say, "nah, maybe if I run into it that'd be ok, but I ain't gonna search for it that's for sure"
  10. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

    “The Left Hand of Darkness” Discussion

    so far after the first few chapters, I feel the writer is projecting negative belief that men don't like effeminate stuff, and that men think women are sneaky and men aren't. or maybe she thinks women is all backstabby but men aren't. it's a little disappointing. it's funny reading her write a character who struggles to be comfortable with androgynous folk, in our current culture just say "they" already! but she don't know she can! everything is he and his and king and well I guess that makes sense for a male character, to see maleness everywhere. I'm not sure how apparent she's made it yet that he's translating the language, but I've noticed almost immediately, she alluded to this a few times. IDK the story itself feels compelling to me. some dude goes to a place that's really political, coming from a culture that lacks kingdoms and etc level of politics, where politics doesn't really play a role for him really, and here everything is all read-between-the-lines, power play, etc. and its a planet in the ice age, yuh it's interesting story, but yeah just 2 chapters in lol. I shouldn't criticise her too much yet, for her whole men-think-this-way flaw. lol.
  11. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

    gray-romantic or something else?

    For me I am demiromantic, and for me that expresses by my lack in any romantic feelings towards people normally. I am very interested in people and am happy to spend time with them and even offer my help in any way they need. I enjoy being a part of what they do. tho usually we just hang out and y'know be friends... idk.. but no one feels any different from friends. I'd date someone and, well I liked them and felt flattered by their attention, but even tho I recognized we were dating, I just I behaved towards them like they were just another friend except, one I saw all the time, and talked to all the time. a best friend basically. But, that wasn't really enough for them. IDK. But when I develop feelings for someone, well, it - it's kinda noticeable for me, tho it takes a bit to admit it, that I'm beginning to feel romantic towards them, and for me, it's kinda like wanting to be with them and a part of their life, and I feel it its a different sensation in my heart for romantic feelings, IDK more washed-over but also more intense, and well generally different. like if you touch a table and touch a wall it feels different, but they're both smooth and cold, so what do you say? I feel the table and I know it's the table. I feel the wall and I know it's the wall. (well technically, I can say the wall feels to have small smoothed-over bumps to it, but shh let's pretend I don't know how to identify its difference in feel for the sake of the example) there's subtle differences, enough that I immediately identify which one as which. but, there's not really a good way to identify that difference in words. At first I assumed that my feelings towards various people was normal attraction, like I can think back and say I had a lot of crushes in high school! But see actually: I am grey-sexual. so my feelings of attraction are sexual attraction alone, but I lack any interest in acting upon my feelings lmao. I just like feeling attracted, and that's enough. And also I like kissing people I'm attracted to, and generally being close and touching them in some way, like side-to-side or something. not really cuddling, but cuddling basically. half-cuddling. And, the reason I know it's sexual... well.. let's just say if we get really into kissing I get aroused, and so that's enough to know it's sexual. but, it just feels like it is sexual attraction, and not just some other attraction, it feels sexual. I felt uncomfortable ID'ing as Ace, and was looking for a way to say I wasn't, but couldn't until I had more confidence in saying it. Because everyone says an ace don't wanna have sex, and I don't wanna have sex, so what could I say?? and - what it was was, that it definitely feels sexual. that's the honest truth, that it don't feel like it ain't sexual, even tho I never get sexual desire. But I first had to realize that maybe I was ace, before I could identify that my attraction definitely felt sexual, to know I wasn't ace. before, I wasn't able to identify that feeling, like I felt it but I just - well I thought it was being attracted, which it was, but when I learned that I didn't want sex, I thought maybe it was just aesthetic attraction. Until I wanted to kiss someone lmao. that's when I knew it was sexual, er, because it felt strong enough as a feeling, that I could identify it for sure for sure. between experiencing it again, and remembering the people I'd kissed before, and how I felt about them - I remember the sensations of really getting into kissing certain people enough. And that was when I knew I had to be grey. But I had to both be able to identify the feeling for sure in the present, as well as remember times when I felt it before in the past. And it wasn't until I could identify what was sexual, before I could slowly begin to identify what was romantic - especially since, it turned out later that everyone I was romantic towards, was someone who wasn't in my life. and - it feels differently from other interests in people. Again, just, subtly too subtle to name why it is, but enough that when I feel it I know it's different. So, see, I find a lot of people aesthetically attractive, and I do feel drawn towards certain friends based off their personality and interests. but those, like, it's liking someone, as a friend or by their looks. For sure it's liking them, but it doesn't feel like attraction, and attraction for me feels like "this person is really important" even tho there's no reason to feel that way. I just want to talk to them, be with them, be a part of their life. er, that's in-words no different than for friends, but again, the way it feels... it's different enough, and consistently, that I know it ain't the same feeling of "liking". For me, being demiromantic, there's a very noticeable difference between just liking someone as a friend, and being attracted to them romantically. I don't like the cliche term "more than friends" because it implies better. it isn't better. it's just... the feelings are different, and in the precise way that they are different, it is better, more, more powerful, more consistent, fuller, whatever word you wanna throw at that. but, really it's like comparing a rich red leaf to a gorgeous blouse that isn't rich in any of its colors. that leaf sure is a richer color than anything that blouse has to offer! but it don't make sense to say one or the other is more beautiful. they're both beautiful in different ways! So I'll say romance is more than just friendship.. but that's like saying that red leaf is more than just that red blouse. it isn't really. just in a precise way, it's more. at least for me, heh. But, this wouldn't be a great example for greyromantic for you, as if we assume you're grey, it's the type of greyness that is sort of... it's there but not a major powerful feeling that takes over. from the sounds of what you're saying. IDK you tell me if it makes sense for you the way I said it just now for me, when I'm attracted (romantically) to someone, it's a very powerful emotion, it's hard to ignore it. it hurts to be denied closeness with them. I'm sure there are people who identify as romantic who don't feel it super powerful like I do, so if you felt that your interest in romance was enough for you to ID as romantic, don't feel weird about it and if on the other hand you think you want to ID as greyromantic, well, I think that fits just fine if you feel it fits you if neither is good enough tho, that's ok too, keep looking into labels. I don't know anything more than the more abstract ones. Aromantic, grey, demi, lith, cupio, and romantic. Technically I suppose I could ID as lithsexual, but it didn't occur to me until recently, and I'm happy with greysexual. Maybe if I have some more conversations with lith folk, I might switch labels, but I'm not too interested in investigating labels right now, heh.
  12. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

    “The Left Hand of Darkness” Discussion

    maybe I could go check it out at the library and give it a read.
  13. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

    Where is the line between sexual and romantic behaviour?

    it seems some people consider hiccies and biting and other things as making out. I thought making out was just kissing enthusiastically. idk. I don't really kiss people on a regular basis so I'm not the best person to ask what kissing is lol.
  14. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

    Where are you from?

    I'm from east coast USA
  15. cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

    midnight musings of a gray-asexual

    While crushes can be a big sign of romantic attraction, they aren't required to be a romantic person... tho I guess... you'd know if you felt romantic towards your partner. It's weird cause, in a way, romanticism could simply be the desire for romance... but at the same time, romanticism for most people is about feelings for the person. idk. I used to think I was normal hetero orientation. but it turns out, I'm not, huh! it's interesting. I kinda always knew that, I'd be ok living my life single, if no one came a long. but I anticipated eventually meeting someone, maybe in ccollege, maybe in my twenties. maybe later on. who knows. isn't that odd - a demiromantic, intrinsically expecting it to happen whenever, or not at all, doesn't make a difference, would be nice if it happens, won't be missed if it won't. seems kinda classic lol. me the classic demiromantic or not I'm just teasing about it. I don't really know. if the relationship is not healthy, don't force yourself to be in it.. If you guys have a trusting, caring, relationship - then maybe you can work through stress in the partnership. but if not... feel free to appreciate my thoughts or ignore them lol.. idk. I don't have a lot of confidence in myself right now.
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